IJustWantLove Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 (edited) I broke up with my ex-girlfriend 3 months ago. Commitment-phobe issues, honestly. We were staring at the 2 year mark and I'm not gonna become the eternal boyfriend. Either I marry her or I walk. Well, I decided to bolt at the slightest, ticky-tack opportunity. So I break up with her and make it 8 days, we get back together, kind of. We continue to see each other 3 nights a week or so, but not every night the way it had been. As far as I was concerned, we were both single and just using each other for needs. (Yeah, I was f***ing up) 5 weeks later, she blocks my number and the last text she sends me is "This isn't healthy, we both need to move on." I tried to get her back after a 10 days and continued to put in effort for 3 more weeks. Since then, I've been in 4 weeks of strict no contact. She kind of reached out to me recently and I'm fairly certain that if I put in the effort, I can get her back. But if I do it, I'm doing it to marry her. ANd I honestly believe that it will work. We are great together. Never fought or argued once in two years. When she cut me off, she ran back to her ex-ex-boyfriend. And I suspect she's also been seeing her old FWB. One of her friends stepped forward about a year ago (we broke up for 2 months then, too) to tell me about this FWB that would NEVER go away. And maybe that was part of the reason why I broke up with her this time around. So now I'm thinking I want her back. I LOVE the way she makes me feel when I'm with her. I've been single for 6.5 years and I've finally made a decision to get married again. I've told all my friends, my family & my parents that I want to marry this girl and all of them can't believe it. I was adamant about NEVER getting married again, ever. But one of my female friends told me my ex-gf really doesn't love me or she wouldn't be able to go off and sleep with other men so quickly. Me, I've been with some other women on this break-up, but I always feel depressed the next day because I know it isn't going anywhere. These women don't meet my standards. Does anyone else think a girl could sleep with other men even though she's in love with someone else? Edited July 15, 2013 by IJustWantLove
ExpatInItaly Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 (edited) Yes, it's entirely possible. Sometimes we just want a physical connection or some temporary intimacy even though our heart is with someone else. But I have to ask, why do you believe you can win her back? ie, how did she reach out to you? She may not be so quick to come back after being on-and-off for a while. Edited July 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Balzac Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Your situation is the classic "how big is the ring" question.
Adele0908 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I wouldn't listen to the opinions of your female friends or anyone else for that matter. People's opinions are usually based on their own fears and insecurities. It appears that you both had the same amount of commitment phobia. Women cheat usually when they aren't getting their emotional needs met by their partner. I know a couple who has a history similar to yours. They both cheated on each other during their dating period which lasted about 5 years, but I guess love conquers all, because they have been married for a year. A female friend of mine was about to get married two years ago, when the wedding was called off after her fiance discovered some steamy text messages in her phone. They broke up for a year and dated other people, and then slowly found their way back to each other. This time they were more ready and now they are engaged and she just had twins in January. So it seems to me that there are many paths to love.
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