Girl Friend wants to take a break, she said its not me, its her.?

[hemsk]

 

Okay so my girlfriend i been going out with for two and a half years, suddenly wants to take a break.

 

Tuesday she sat me down and said she wanted a break.

 

We found out about five days before that we did not have HPV(we thought we had this) She was with two black guys before me. only lasted weeks after two years of being with her, i just made us facebook official on FB.

She told me she was upset for just now making us official

 

She told me she wanted to take a break so she could find her self, she is just starting college in august. I am already in college and also starting back up in the fall. she told me i had two years more expierence then her, but i was going out with her when i was going to college, now she doesnt want to go out with me while we are in college.

 

Monday, the day before she broke up with me, she was laying on me asking me about kids and she asked me if i would smoke around my kids, and i said not around but i would want to smoke before i go to bed, we laid in bed after that and she wanted to cuddle, i cuddled with her and all i wanted was sex, so i did not show her any affection of holding her, she got up and said i need time to think. and she left.

 

could it of been because we do not have HPV, she does nt feel obligated to stay with me anymore because we dont have it. maybe?

 

Friday before we went to a party together as friends, we had a talk and she noticed a lot of change the past few days, i was being confident and strong and trying to smile a lot and actually talking to her, and she kept asking me if i was alright and i said yeah i am fine, i dont think she wants to jump back in the relationship because she likes the way i am talking to her. she told me i could flirt with other girls, and i asked her if thats something she would want to do and she said "no i am not going to do that" because she is not that kind of girl anyways, she is a nice girl and not a girl who wants another guy right now. I told her i did nt have the urge to do that at all.

 

Friday Night after the party we went to country kitchen with another couple, and ate, and after she dropped me off, gave me a hug in the car and kissed me on the cheek, and i did the same back

 

The thing is we hardly hang out as is... and then she wants a break.and wants to be my friend.

 

she is pushing us away and not sure what to do, we are still facebook official and she is still wearing my ring and texting me. but i think she is just trying not to hurt my feelings.

 

Friday before the party i told her how awful i was to her, and she said it wasnt all my fault.

She also said anything i say would not change how she felt.

 

SO should i just stop trying, she clearly just doesnt want to break up with me because she thinks i am fragile, but thats my assumption.

 

ANY IDEAS on how to get her back, i am 21, she is 18

Is there any way at all, i dont want to waste my time, its hard enough as is. she broke up for no reason, all she said was she needed time to find herself, yet we barely hung out as is. she just never told me why. it was not a good enough reason to me. but i acted cool and supportive.

 

 

Added: so Friday we went to a party together, she gave me a ride, I acted cool and was being social at the party, I let her have her freedom all night, but all she did was go into the bathroom with friends and sit on the couch with friends, almost as if she was just there to watch me. So after the party we went out to eat with some friends and I paid for the meal. She dropped me off, I gave her a hug in the car and she was saying g something about it only needs to be a one arm hhug, after that she kissed me on my cheek and I kissed her back on the cheek... She texted me the next day, aka Saturday, and said hey how are you? I replied about to go work out, I texted her back about an hour later and asked her if she was going to this party tonight, and she said idk pretty tired. I said I hear ya there, well I'll see you around. About 5 hours Later she texted me and asked if I was going to that party, I said yeah for sure. She replied well have fun... I'll talk to you tomorrow. I said are you not wanting to go, and she replied no i am hanging out with friends tonight. I I said kk. So the night goes on, and i go to this party and have an awesome time, this girl was trying to make out with mee and i just backed up and walked away. I feel like I should tell her.

 

So after the night was done, it was Sunday, she texted me at noon and said hey how was your night. I said it was alright, and you. She replied good, I didn't stay long. I texted back and said It's to bad you couldn't make it, everyone was asking about you. She replied aww well maybe next time... Lol and i have not texted her back since

 

Why is she texted me first, it seems like she doesnt want to be more then friends, and she is texting me to ease me off?

 

Should I talk to her again and ask her why she never gave me a reason why she broke up.

[hemsk]

I know she isnt seeing anyone else right now. she is a girl with moral and values and if we were taking a break she would not see anyone else. i just want to know why. but i dont know how to tell her.

 

and should i be honest about how a girl tryed to kiss me?

 

its been 6 days since the break. and i just dont understand.

Edited July 15, 2013 by hemsk

[Philosoraptor]

She doesn't seem very sure about you. In just this little post you say you just made it "official" after two years and you denied her any sort of affection because at that moment she didn't want to have sex? Doesn't seem like you leave much room for compromise or much thought to her needs. Don't want to waste your time? You, you, you, is all I read here.

 

I wouldn't say she broke up for no reason. She may want to figure out herself and everything else, but it doesn't seem like she wants to waste her time here either.

[hemsk]

I forgot to add, sex has been bad the past three weeks and i kept hurting her when i layed on her, and i always wanted get to get on top.

 

The thing is she took a break with me, but she never gave me a chance...

 

I was thinking about texting her today and saying "we should talk soon"

Edited July 15, 2013 by hemsk

[Dundas]

Okay, I didn't read all of your post and your situation might be different, but here's my story:

I was with my ex-girlfriend for 2 and a half years too... up until she dumped me 3 months ago. She also said 'I just need my space... it's not you, it's me!' But after a few days, the truth had come out that she had met another guy and dumped me for him. They're still together.

It may or may not be the case for you - but either way, just move on. You can live without her just fine, and if she comes back to you, good for you. I didn't want to hear this either just 3 months ago but look, I'm still alive!

Edit: My ex-girlfriend also has high morals and isn't a sl*t in any way shape or form... I still think pretty highly of her and respect her as a person... but I never thought she would have done that either... to start seeing someone else before breaking up with me out of the blue... but it happens. My ex is the last person I would've thought to do something like that, and I'm sure yours is too - but it's always a possibility. I don't think this is "just a break," I think she really thought about it and wanted to breakup with you with excuses to make it seem less harsh.

Edited July 15, 2013 by Dundas

[hemsk]

well she keeps texting me first. i cant seem to work my 8 hour days anymore because i think about this all the time...

 

i was told to wait another week and sit down and talk with her. it will give her time to miss me?

 

and maybe she is talking to another guy, and when i made it facebook official she might have thought this could ruin her chances? but we hang out with friends all the time. so idk..

 

i mean we talked about growing old together and stuff like that we talked about kids and she is STILL wearing my promise ring...

[hemsk]

So let me try to break down this simply

 

Me and this girl, been together for 2 and 1/2 years.

 

She lived with her controlling step dad for those years.

 

A month ago she moved into her grandmas, she has been asking me this year that we should get our own place together.

 

This past month, we have been having REALLY bad sex, i mean i lay on her wrong and she complains, i CAN fix this but i was mad so i refused.

 

 

She broke up with me last tuesday, so its been 6 days, 4 days before we broke up, i was being kind of controlling asking her where she was going, and being worried, and wanting to hang out. Friday three days before we took a break, she invited me to go to a party with her friends at work, i told her i did not trust other guys around her and i was being not to trust worthy,even though i KNOW she would never cheat on me. i declined and later that night i was texting her, if you get bored and can come over, and i kept texting her, and i said i should have came. Saturday we went to a party together, everything was fine i told her i thought she was hitting on this guy. and she said she was just having a conversation. so i dropped it.. because she probably was.. later that night we went out on the porch and she laid her head on me and i started playing with her hair.. she spent the night that night and we did not have sex even though i wanted it. she told me to set my alarm to 9am so we could do it for an hour in the morning because she works at 12 and needed to get ready. so i set the alarm for 945 and she got mad we fought a little bit, and she left.

 

Now the same day sunday, she worked from 12-930, after work she usually calls me, this time she did not, i gave her a call at 1040 and she answers and was like "Hey i was just getting ready to text you" i freaked out a little bit and was like, you never told me, and why was i not invited. it hurt a little bit. i called her back again and told her i was upset. but she was in front of her friends, i think i embarrassed her.

 

Monday she came over after work around 6pm, we talked for a while and she laid on me, asked me about if i would smoke in front of my kids, and i said no but i might smoke at night to help me get to sleep. she was a little upset, i then said you would make a good mom. we ended up laying in bed around 10pm and i wanted sex, and i was being so rude, she kept laying on me, she wanted me to cuddle with her, but i refused, about 10 minutes later, she got up and said she needed to think and left.

 

Tuesday, the morning, i texted her five times and was just saying how i was worried, and then i called her at 10am and woke her up, i felt bad for doing this. We talked and i told her i could not work because i was thinking about her to much. I asked if i could see her before she went to work at 4pm, and she refused to see me. she said after work, so 10pm rolls by, she calls, and comes over. she sat me down and told me that we should take a break. i freaked out for about 5 minutes and then i relaxed and respected her decision. SHE GAVE ME NO REASON, she said i just need time to find my self, and i need my space.. i said well we dont hang out that much anyways can we just have time to think about it then, she said no. i asked her what i am suppose to do on this break, she said take this time to improve your self or something like that. i asked her if i could hug her for the last time, and we hugged for a few minutes. and she kissed me. I told her a girl did this to me one time. and she started crying. i asked her if i am suppose to be looking for another girl and she started crying, she said if you find another girl, to tell her. i eventually said. i would wait forever for you. and i will always love you.

 

She texted me that night and said. "feel free to text me whenever...goodnight"

 

I never texted back.

 

she texted me the next morning and said "Hey i hope you have a good day" (8:59am)

 

I said " Thanks you too" (11:26am)

 

She texted me "Hey" (5:56pm)

 

I said "Hey there, how was your day."(6:07pm)

 

She said "it was okay. Worked until 4. How was your day?"(6:08pm)

 

I said "it was alright, i also worked until 4" (6:11pm)

 

Then i texted her something funny that happened at work. she just omg thats funny, that doesnt happen unless on tv.

 

I texted "By the way, i am sorry for my moodieness the other night, i did not mean to make you feel awful, i wish i could take it back" (8:15pm)

 

She replied "its ok. i just needed you to understand"(8:15pm)

 

i said " i wish i had, i do now" (8:15pm)

 

She said "thank you :)" (8:16pm)

 

i then said, "I wish i could erase the past four days, i was an immature jerk and regretting it now."(8:24pm)

 

she said "sighh its ok"(8:30pm)

 

i never texted back, she then said "goodnight..."(11:08pm) she put ... after she said goodnight, like i was suppose to keep texting her after she said sighh its ok.

 

The next morning, aka Thursday i texted her first and said, sorry had good night typed in my phone.

 

She texted me at 12:10pm and said Good Afternoon

 

I said " good afternoon, have a good day!" (12:27pm)

 

she replied "you too thanks :)" (12:34pm)

 

she texted me again about five minutes later of some messages on facebook this guy sent her, and she asked me if i knew this clown, the guy messaged her and said something funny at first, like you are my soul mate, then a day later he was calling her names like a fat skank, she is really skinny and has a nice body.. so she is not fat for one.

 

I replied, "I know that name from somewhere, but that guy doesnt know what he is talking about" (12:55pm)

 

She replied 10 seconds later " "

 

I texted me " Dont worry, your none of those things " (1:01pm)

 

I texted her again at 1:47pm and said "How are you doing"

 

she replied 6 hours later, "good going to dinner with allison" (7:40pm)

 

i said "hey thats whats up, have a good time" (7:58pm)

 

she did not text me the rest of the night.

 

Friday Afternoon i texted her "Hey there " (12:02pm)

 

she replied " Hey hey! " (1:00pm)

 

I texted her back " i was wondering if we could talk ?" (1:24pm)

 

2 hours later, i was standing in my drive way waiting for a friend to come scoop me up so we can chill, and she pulled into my driveway and we talked for a few minutes before my friend pulled in. when she got here, she got out of her car and looked straight faced. she asked me if she could hug me. so i gave her a nice hug and she said, hey you got a hair cut, and she wiped the sweat and a few pieces of my hair off my forehead. i then said how sorry i was for making her work so hard for my love and i wish i could have told you all the little things i loved about you. she didnt really say anything and then my friend pulled in so she said we will talk later at this party we were going to.

 

so i texted her at around 730pm and i was talking to her, she said she was doing her nails, i then said, "when would you like to finish our talk from earlier?"

 

she replied "i will be over after i take a shower"

 

so she came over, and i complemented her on her outfit, i then said would you like to go for a walk, and she said she was swore from walking earlier today, but ok. so we walked and i was like, i regret not letting you into my life and not communicating with you more. and i was just like, if i were you i would of took a break a long time ago, not sure why i said this. we talked some more, and she said she just needs a friend right now, like about how we talked about the guy who messaged her on facebook.

 

She pretty much said anything i say wont change anything. she still wants a break. i was about to tell her all the little things i loved about her, she looked like she was gonna tear up but didnt, and said not right now, maybe some time later.

 

so we go to this party and all she did was sit down on the couch and talk to her girl friends, and in the bathroom, i did not understand, i was having the time of my life, talking and drinking with friends making everyone laugh.

 

Eventually she was sitting there, so i was like HEYY do you want to be my beer pong partner, she said sure, she sucked royally, made no cups. i walked away after the game with out saying anything to her.

 

a group of friends went out back to smoke a bleeze, i sat down and then she walked outside and sat right next to me...i passed the blunt i rolled the other way from her, we smoked it, when it was almost done, i was again got up with out saying anything to her and went back inside.

 

We eventually left and went to go eat with friends at a restaurant that is 24/7 i bought her meal, when she was dropping me off she was hugging me with her one arm and i reached in with two arms to hug her, she said i only need one arm but i ignored it. She then gave me a kiss on the cheek and i kissed her on the cheek and that was that.

 

The next morning, aka saturday morning, she said "hey how are you?"(11:52am)

 

i said, "alright about to go workout" (12:06pm)

 

i texted her back an hour later and said hey just got invited to the same party as last night, just at a different location (1:17pm)

 

she replied "idk im pretty tired" (2:36pm)

 

i said " i hear ya there, well ill see you around " (2:39pm)

 

she texted me five hours later saying " Are you going to go? " (7:16pm)

 

I just said, "Yeah for sure" (7:55pm)

 

she said, "well have fun...ill talk to you tomorrow" (9:39pm)

 

i said "are you not wanting to go?" (9:50pm)

 

she said she is hanging out with some people she works with (9:51pm)

 

all i said was "kk" (9:51pm)

 

so that night i went to that party and i noticed a lot of girls hitting on me, one came and just sat on my lap and eventually she was trying to make out with me, but i would not have it. i just walked away lol, later i took a body shot off a girl and was just getting plastered.

 

She texted me the next morning.. aka Sunday and said "hey how was your night? " (12:17pm)

 

i said " it was okay and you?" (2:06pm)

 

she said "good i didnt stay long"(6:10pm)

 

i said "its to bad you couldnt make it, everyone was asking about you."(11:25pm)

 

she replied " aww well maybe next time...lol" (11:26pm)

 

and i have not talked to her since, it is now 2:00pm Monday and the last thing i said to her was at 11:25pm Sunday night.

 

Try to keep in mind she has been wearing my promise ring still. even at the party on friday

 

I am pretty sure she convinced her self to take a break. i still love her, but honestly its her loss if she is not gonna give me the time of day...

 

EVEN THOUGH SHE IS STILL TALKING TO ME... we are still facebook official...and she is still wearing my promise ring.

 

What do you think? and what should i do about this?

 

Famous answers: give her time and space...

 

I will need to add more to this. so bare with me

[xilver]

It hasn't even been 24 hours since you spoke last so I wouldn't think too much yet. She responded to you Sunday night. You haven't tried to contact her since so I don't see what the issue is. Why didn't you text her to have a good day or something like that how you have been doing?

[flitzanu]

well, you're being REALLY controlling. that's the worst thing you can do to someone that "wants space".

 

secondly, "break" equals "breakup", there's no way around that. she's being distant because she doesn't want to be with you, and hoping that you take the hint, but you're just being pushy about it and it's really turning her off.

 

she's giving clear signals that she wants out of it, and if you keep doing what you're doing it's going to just get more volatile.