Mischief Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I experienced racism from a very young age experienced the painfully brutal sting from the moment i started high school. Somehow...i managed to drag myself through it. I thought it was all over when i stated varsity. I stared going out with a girl...a girl i loved with my whole entire heart...i had nothing but i gave it all to her. It started out so beautifully and loving and caring...we used to years to see each other....I've dated white before I've dated all sorts of races and its never been a problem...this however she made me feel utterly worthless like i...like my existence was a mistake Sigh i cant even tell the full story it still hurts so much...i was never allowed to pick her up from her house always had to park a few blocks down incase her family saw me...i wasn't allowed to take her to the planetarium incase her ex boyfriend saw us...once she thought she. Saw her ex and literally ducked under my car because she was ashamed of me... She never once held my hand in public...never once walked too close to me...why would she lie why would she tell me all these things make me believe and hope and give so freely why did she change every fibre of my being if she didn't want to be with me... I was once a jock a hurtful careless guy that cared only about my looks...now i had a beard... I spend hours in the shower rubbing and rubbing till my skin turned raw...why couldn't i be accepted...why wouldn't it work...why couldn't i be with her... Her family...sigh her step family caused all this...thats what i like to think...that it wasn't her fault after all these years of having no family she just wanted to belong...after the drunken tyrant of her step father and all the abuse... She a Ways always ran back to her ex boyfriend he hurt her so many many times over and over again but she kept running back to him...after enduring all his abuse she always ran back to him...i never once raised my voice never once mad her do what she didn't want i loved her with my whole heart with everything...i love her She told me she loved me...she told me shed never love me she told me i could never have what her and her ex shared...she to D me not to leave when i told her she hurt me...i never ever did she made me do things i would never ever do and in the bed she threw me away like dirty rubbish I never mattered i was just strung along and race decided it all...never allowed to post on her Facebook wall never allowed to even take a picture with her...haha two days after she broke up with me and forever changed my life....two days...two whole days....she was going out with a jock a jock that i had to find out about over face book that she could hold hands with that was accepted by her family that would never see past the superficiality of her looks and at her unbelievably beautiful soul...she wore the dress i got her with her new boyfriend for her birthday...she paraded and invited him to,all the step family parties and outings....nobody knows about me....nobody in history ever will know how much i loved her... She hurt me over and over again deliberately unrelentingly unapologetically....i love her i do...i always will...i just want her to have a happy love after everything shes been through its all I've ever wanted for her... I experienced racism...it changed me...i will,never be the same again..it hurts every single day is a struggle and all because i was left in the over too long and turned out indian There's so much i want so say theres so much i want to share but it all hurts such an overwhelming amount...one day...i wish i wish we are one no race no creed no religion no hurt
lessica Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 This girl is not worth ****. She is ignorant, and simple. She might grow up one day. But maybe not. Do not let who you are be demeaned by ignorant simple people. Do not identify yourself with the color of your skin. Society is ****ed. Accept it, and don't buy into the bull****. Value yourself above all else. Always. 1
Author Mischief Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 This girl is not worth ****. She is ignorant, and simple. She might grow up one day. But maybe not. Do not let who you are be demeaned by ignorant simple people. Do not identify yourself with the color of your skin. Society is ****ed. Accept it, and don't buy into the bull****. Value yourself above all else. Always. "Tomrrow comes the damadge is done, its too late" ive never ever hated her never ever will...thank you though...
Own Worst Enemy Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 then she is a disgusting human being, and you deserve a million times better. 2
Eivuwan Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 When damage is done, there would be scars, but scars are a sign of healing. It's never too late unless you're dead. 1
pteromom Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 You might love her, but she lacks the maturity to stand up for a relationship that some may disagree with. So she isn't the one for you. Remember that this is not a flaw in YOU. You are perfect as you are, and you will find someone who loves you for who you are, and will happily be public with you. You weren't "left in the oven too long"... there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you are. 1
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