raph Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Would really appreciate advice from the forum because I don't think my head is thinking clearly on the issue. Think I am too emotionally involved right now. Background: Began a long distance relationship three year ago with a girl. Was great for two years, no arguments, great compatibility etc but she got very clingy and pressured to for more commitment. After a lot of pressure for six months my interest level dropped. I told her I didn't think she was the one for me because that's what I felt at the time. She then left me. Went NC for 3 weeks. Then 2 weeks later was in a relationship with a new man. After going NC on me and leaving me for another man I realized I had made a mistake and that I had lost someone special and began going through the break up emotions. I spent 6 months in the looser begging stage which is way too long and I regret it but it was my first real heart break and I didn't want to give up on the girl. I spent six months begging for her to take me back after seeing the errors of my ways. She however didn't talk to me for six months, only emailed. Said I had my chance and should move on etc etc. During these six months I travelled to her city twice to meet with the hope of reconciliation - but both times there she treated me awfully. I know deep down she loved me. She openly admits I was her perfect man. She says I hurt her badly and that she has been closed to me since our break up. I understand my actions caused her to leave but the rational side of me thinks that my mistake should have be forgiven if we were both happy together and it was just a bump in the relationship. However in the six months a lot has now happened that has tarnished it: - She didn't talk to me for six months. Only replied to emails. - She met me only for dinner after traveling to her city leaving me to spend the weekend by myself. - Constantly told me I can win her back etc giving me false hopes. But constantly breaks up with her bf, pretends to give me opportunity but every time runs back to him. - Said I could win her back, I bought a vacation for two to repair relationship but after meeting with her, making a move, and getting rejected she said she didn't want to go. Wasted a lot of money. - To name a few - many more examples but these one hurt the most. A month ago I started No Contact. 4 weeks in I get an email back saying she is sorry for how she treats me, is remembering the good times, and that she cares for me. I replied (which I regret) telling her not to contact me anymore. My problem which I would like to get community advice from is that I genuinely really like this girl. The girl I dated though. Not the girl over the last six months who has been closed. If we could get back to that place it would be great. Although a big part of me thinks if she truly loved me she wouldn't have kept her boyfriend over six months and treated me so poorly. I know I remained in contact for too long, and only going NC has it forced her to evaluate her feelings. I think a lot has gone on over the last six months which would make it hard to get back to how we were before. What are you thoughts about what I should do because I am very confused right now on next steps to take with this girl. I kept myself in a bad place for a long time hoping, while she was with another man. So it is make or break time now going forward.
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