Emissary Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 So I've been a little more active with the online dating ever since I decided to put an end to the madness that was my now ex-ex-ex-girlfriend. I'm on PoF and I find women there to be exceptionally pretentious, I find a girl, look at her profile, if I wouldn't mind meeting this person I figure out a way to relate any similar interests in a light and sometimes funny way. Usually I make sure to ask a question or two so they're more likely to respond and establish first contact. I've had a pretty abysmal success rate the past while, with most of my messages getting a "read - deleted" status on my log. Anyway, once in a while I do actually manage to strike up a chat stream with a decent prospect, I've already managed to woo one girl, we've both have agreed to meet up sometime this week, it really seemed to have gone abnormally well in bringing up a first meet. We text now instead of using the site, so that's a good sign I would say. Where I'm really curious though, in the meantime I've struck up a bit of a back and forth stream with another girl. We're actually already acquainted as we both work in the mall and I've served her a handful of times, I recognized her and said hi. That was a couple of days ago, we've sent about a hundred messages since then. A lot of it is complaining on her part since she's cooped up at home, she broke her ankle just the day before I first messaged her, so she has virtually no mobility and is in a lot of pain. However, a good portion still is dedicated to actual conversation where we tell each other a bit about ourselves and joke around. She messages me at all times of the day, once she even messaged me at 4AM talking about how she can't sleep. That's kind of where I get a little iffy, I like her and I want to meet her outside of PoF and work, but I almost get the impression she's just bored sitting around all day and I'm just somebody for her to talk to and vent. If things don't go amazing with the first girl, I'll probably suggest tea with this one once she gets a more permanent cast and can leave the house with ease. So I dunno, would you get a good or a bad vibe from her? On one hand, she obviously likes talking to me, but on the other hand a lot of it is just venting. I'm kind of getting annoyed with all the complaining, but I'm just grinning and ploughing through it since breaking any bone is never a fun ordeal in the slightest. I also think I might just be cynical since my last relationship saw my girlfriend compulsively lying about anything and everything for sympathy.
DollWelch Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I'm on PoF and I find women there to be exceptionally pretentious. Apparently, from what I have heard, you have better luck on OKCupid. Perhaps give that OLD site a try. Aside from that, sometimes you have to go through quite a number of disappointments before you find the right woman, who will pale in comparison.
Author Emissary Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 Well she just messaged me, "Let's cuddle", so I guess I could consider myself in.
dasein Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Cut as much of the intermediate chatting out as possible and get straight to getting the phone number and the meet. Women who are interested in meeting, quality prospects, and worth your time, will appreciate the directness, and it subtly signals them you are not someone with limitless time to sit around chatting. The ones who want to sit around chatting forever before meeting, put off meeting or giving you a phone number are generally bad bets. Avoid those. So the direct approach signals the good and weeds out the bad. Give it a try. I write in the first reply to their reply, "Let's talk. My number is 888888, or if you are comfortable with it, feel free to send yours and I will call you soon." I never text or AIM with strangers... never. I don't tell them this, but I think they get the vibe and respond well to it. Why would you want to waste your time AIMing or texting with someone whom you don't know at all? You certainly won't get to know someone in any meaningful way doing that. On the first call, I have a meet plan in mind that is likely close to her area, easy to get to and interesting. I tend towards choosing more trendly "girly" places that women tend to like. Never ever coffee shops, and most certainly never a chain of any type. When I started OLD, I was like you and chatted with them hoping to improve my lot by "getting to know." Didn't work, doesn't work. The direct, matter of fact approach works, and if they aren't on a dating site to meet people and respond to polite directness, well they generally aren't up to my standards or compatible anyway.
phineas Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I just dove back in with a new profile pic & it seems if they keep checking your profile, give out their number quickly & text you something worth responding to they are into you. Until they meet you & find something wrong with you. ROTFLMAO!! Oh well, at least their responding to me these days.
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