youngnlove89 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I can't eat. And every time I try to, I get sick and throw it up. My chest feels like something heavy is sitting on it. I have these constant chills that sting every inch of me. The only relief is sleep. And I can't even calm my anxiety enough to just go to bed. I usually lay there and think. My eyes start to burn. Most of the time I can't cry because I'm so angry. I am emotionally done for. My heart isn't broken by just a guy I was in love with, but by a friend. When denial is brought to the surface and we have nothing left, but to face it and admit to ourselves that we were lied to we frantically search for way to keep it from disrupting our lives. To do that we rationalize, we make up excuses or find good reasons to justify their lies. Allowing the lies to register in our consciousness means having to make room for any number of frightening possibilities: • He’s not the man I thought he was. • The relationship has spun out of control and I don’t know what to do • The relationship may be over. We don't want to face these truths. It's gut wrenching. After the anger, after the curtains are lifted, after we know for sure and the dust settles, we opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. We are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion. “It's very easy to get a boy to leave the room. It's much harder to get him to leave your thoughts.” ― Elizabeth Eulberg, Prom and Prejudice The only thing we have to count on is time. Things can be said, things can be done. In those moments, the pain subsides briefly only to come back twice as strong for the time that it lost. Time is the only way out. The sad thing about time is no one knows how long it takes. I get up and pace the room as if I could leave this hurt behind me. But it follows me every where I go as if it were my shadow. The only time it goes away is when I'm in a dark room. So here I lay, were shadows can't find me. Until I think it's over, enough for the beautiful sun to remind me, it is never over. How do you cope with betrayal?
Author youngnlove89 Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 Does anyone feel the same? How do you guys cope? Does anyone else get sick?
Author youngnlove89 Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 You need to have a fruit smoothie or some soup. Something easy to eat. Have some one bring it to you if you're too sick to get it yourself. Also watch a movie that will cheer you up like home alone or hook or wedding crashers. I have no money at the moment. I get paid today at 3pm, so I'll get dinner tonight. I'm at work so I don't have the choice to sit at home and do nothing.
2sunny Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Does anyone feel the same? How do you guys cope? Does anyone else get sick? I stopped handing him all MY power. Yes, betraying your truth will make you physically sick. Trying to force it to be something it's not - is not useful. 1
USMCHokie Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 How do you cope with betrayal? Cut ties with the betrayer. Who he once was no longer exists and all that is left is a person who cannot be trusted and does not deserve your attention or affection. Stop associating the betrayal with the person you thought you cared about, but rather a person you no longer know.
Mack05 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Until you understand that 'you' are the problem and not him, then it will be endless threads, questions, musings, random thoughts and little progress on your part..
Author youngnlove89 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 Until you understand that 'you' are the problem and not him, then it will be endless threads, questions, musings, random thoughts and little progress on your part.. Me being the problem by letting him in my life or me being the problem in another way??
Mack05 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Me being the problem by letting him in my life or me being the problem in another way?? You are a good girl with a kind heart, I see that. Some day in the future you will be just fine. In the meantime you have a lot of growing up to do. By growing up, I mean becoming emotionally mature and having peace and stability in your life. I ask you try look at your situation from 'outside the box'. Say you stumbled across this website and read through all the threads of a poster called 'youngnlove89' what would be your initial impression? Your posts are all over the place which pretty much describes your emotions right now. You need to open Pandora's box, deal with what is inside and then move forward in your life in a healthy fashion. Right now you are doing the opposite. The truth is until you are older and wiser the context of my message will be lost on you. Right now you can't seperate the forrest from the tree's..The answers you seek will never come from wondering why an ex did this or that. They come from thinging turns inward and working through your issues (not your ex's)... If you don't do this, then the next guy will just be like your ex followed by months of new threads with the same questions... 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 You are a good girl with a kind heart, I see that. Some day in the future you will be just fine. In the meantime you have a lot of growing up to do. By growing up, I mean becoming emotionally mature and having peace and stability in your life. I ask you try look at your situation from 'outside the box'. Say you stumbled across this website and read through all the threads of a poster called 'youngnlove89' what would be your initial impression? Your posts are all over the place which pretty much describes your emotions right now. You need to open Pandora's box, deal with what is inside and then move forward in your life in a healthy fashion. Right now you are doing the opposite. The truth is until you are older and wiser the context of my message will be lost on you. Right now you can't seperate the forrest from the tree's..The answers you seek will never come from wondering why an ex did this or that. They come from thinging turns inward and working through your issues (not your ex's)... If you don't do this, then the next guy will just be like your ex followed by months of new threads with the same questions... Thank you. I guess I need to grow emotionally. I haven't contacted him. He hasn't contacted me. In a way, every day that goes by gives me more validation that I'm doing the right thing by letting him go. People in love don't do this.
Woah93 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I haven't been betrayed but rather a more confusing situation but I think I may have some advice on this. Mindfulness combined with meditation has made me pretty immune to feeling hurt or betrayed like this. If I compare what a person does to me now and before I started practicing this it's really a HUGE difference in how it makes me feel. You see it isn't some spiritual fairytale bull****. Being in the present moment and being NOW is actually a human function taken for granted. Your thoughts and what's actually happening are two different things. That moment, when your thought's overwrite what is happening NOW, that moment when you forget what is ACTUALLY happening that is when you get lost. You get stuck in old patterns, hopes and wishes. If a person hits you with a stick, you dont get mad at the arm, you don't get mad at the stick. You get mad at the person, but if you look a little deeper maybe that person was abused by his parents, maybe we could blame the world for lacking compassion. Then again aren't you a part of the world? Aren't you experiencing anger? Vengeance? Even murderous intents? Things happen and YOU aren't perfect either. Maybe THEY weren't happy enough and found someone who was actually the world to them? Would you be mad at them for making a mistake? It's your ego being hurt and while it feels good to blame all that pain on one person, in the end it was you who chose how to deal with that pain, no one is intentionally evil. Just ignorant. Of course you will feel anger, but realize that your mind doesn't see things in perspective a lot of the time. This is where mindfulness set's in. Meditation helps with this. Please note again meditation is not about some spiritual thing, and I'm not trying to sell you anything. New neurons are actually created in the meditative state. Study's reported significantly larger brainmass in people who frequently meditated. The happiest man on the planet has adopted this mindset. Source: Mattieu Ricard: Happiness Is A Skill, by Tami Simon We always like to seek outside explanations for our problems but forget to look at our mind state and how we process it. You will realize that once you adopt an objective mind state life will smile at you. People will too. You see things for how they are, and it allows you to see that the person your obsessing about is just like you, someone who is confused, perhaps ignorant and really didn't know what they were doing. Pay attention, live in the now, the past and future are just story's where we picture ourselves. All inaccurate most of the time, and when obsessed by emotional pain it makes us miss that one person who truly loves us. That one person who might be perfect for you. Being unconsious in the now makes us miss those opportunities. Time will not heal this, if your not care full and don't consiously fix it you have a real chance to go through life like an extended dream. The day's go by unnoticed, unapreciated, and you'll be more like a robot then anything human. Take this as a warning. Pushing emotions away or not feeling them anymore doesn't mean you have fixed anything.
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