Niksia Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Hi Everyone I just split up with my boyfriend of 2 years a week ago, and I'm completely lost. When we first got together our relationship was perfect and we instantly fell in love. We were living 80 miles apart so on my days off I would drive to see him, it got to the point where I couldn't afford to put fuel in the car and he never helped me or came up to see me. I decided I would move closer to him, which also happens to be my hometown. The place made me awfully unhappy and I never felt comfortable. Anyway, the arguments started when I found out via Facebook that he was keeping things from me such as nights out and other various things. I lost trust in him and it made me feel so insecure. We talked about getting engaged and moving in together, I work in a full time job so this was no problem for me, but he never seemed to want to work, I know that jobs are very hard to come by but he never even done as much as look in a job ads column. It felt to me that he just wanted to still be a teenager and have a constant social life. He would ask me out on nights out with his friends and then abandon me, leaving me to find my own way home. I felt that I was always second best, but despite this I loved him so much and would do anything for him. I broke up with him following an argument from a night out. We hadn't seen each other in a week, and of course he was putting his proprieties first (alcohol). I had enough of being his doormat and broke up with him. He never stuck up for me, some of his friends had been very nasty to be throughout the relationship and he never had the balls to say anything. I feel so lost, I have lost my best friend and soul mate. I had a look on his FB and he seems fine. I feel like I never meant anything to him. What do I do?
Sneaky Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I read your story and I'm sorry that you're hurting. I want you to know that you're not alone, we all are here. I don't know a lot but for what it's worth, to me it seems to me like you did the right thing. Like I said, I don't know a lot but I have found it helps to break contact and allow yourself to mourn the relationship first if you need to. After that try to keep busy; work out, read, write, watch tons of tv-shows, do whatever hobbies you have... anything to keep your mind off him. Hope you stay strong. 1
Echo000 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 worst part is feeling like your dying on the inside, and the other person doesnt seem to care half as much. My ex casually informed me a week ago she is moving away for good. Let me know thru text. When we spoke on the phone to say our goodbyes, she was super casual and couldnt understand why i would be so hurt and need to say goodbye. Point is: while i am in utter pain day in and day out, she just got back from vacation. Completely distracted and happy..while i sit here in pain. Its tough, but common. the person who claimed they will love you forever and love everything about you and blah blah blah, proves to not be true. They may have meant those things once upon a time when they said it (i believe that), but they dont mean it now. Their actions prove that. Very. Clearly.
Author Niksia Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 I just don't understand it, a week before our break up he was in tears to me, saying he couldn't be without me and that he love me so much. I'm so sorry to hear about your ex, sometimes people have no remorse for others.
Echo000 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 people on here always try to analyze their exes and why they did/do what they did/do. Let me tell you, a lot of us are good people. And many of our exes are good people too. But being a good person doesnt make you a mature person, a selfless person, or a good partner. My ex, for example, was and is a good person at heart. She means well. But she is immature, selfish, and at a point in life where she is confused and desperate for stability. That is all i need to know..all the other analyses are pointless because our exes are OBLIVIOUS to most of their own behaviors and their consequences. Your ex sounds similar to mine in that he/she is unaware of how little it seems like they cared at all. In spite of all the sweet words. So while we sit here and wonder why, they are totally unaware of any of this. So only we waste our time trying to understand something that really isnt there. Sucks. 2
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