I'm torn apart

[Paddes16]

I have a different thread, explaining my situation and all, if you're interested in that.

 

Here's my problem: My girlfriend broke up a few days ago and clearly shows that she doesn't care about me anymore. She offered to be friends, "to be kind" so she says. I declined this offer, but we're still texting. I'm willing and about to do the NC "challenge", though. She texted me something three hours ago which I didn't even read. I just now did, while I was trying to formulate my last words and so on. Just her texting me makes me not want to do the NC thing. I don't know why. I feel so bad for her, because she did quite a lot, but that was all in the past.

 

Does anyone know how to properly fix this issue I'm having here, so I can finally do the NC thing tomorrow?

[JDPT]

Although NC can be a challenge I view it more of an imperative component of moving on. NC should start immediately there is no need to procrastinate. I view the "let's be friends" statement as her wanting to use you as a crutch to ease her landing. Remain strong, move on and start NC immediately.

[Paddes16]

Although NC can be a challenge I view it more of an imperative component of moving on. NC should start immediately there is no need to procrastinate. I view the "let's be friends" statement as her wanting to use you as a crutch to ease her landing. Remain strong, move on and start NC immediately.

 

I was told that if I can remain strong, which I think I can do, I could leave her a message. And I feel like I should do this. I'm writing it right now, but I'll let you guys review it before I send it to her.

 

Thanks for the advice!

 

Edit: I just finished the small "letter", and this is what I got so far:

Alright, I spent the whole night yesterday to try and figure out if this is the right decision to do or not. If you're reading this, I figured out it'd be the best thing to do, for both of us. I finally realise that you're not interested in a relationship with me anymore. And I cannot force you into a relationship, if you don't want it. I will move on now, like you did weeks or even months ago. I have to learn to let go, even if it's hard. And this is my first step, I guess. I asked very experienced people that care about my situation and that probably know what's best for me, and they all advised me to just move on, as it's better for me AND you. I'd still like to thank you for the two years with you. I had one of the best moments of my life with you and the support you provided me in bad times was very nice to have. I hope for you that you'll find someone that suits you and I hope that he'll treat you nice. That's all I can hope for, that you'll be happy. Once again, thank you for the two years, the support, the joyful moments and in general being with me for so long. Thank you for making me a better person.

In love,

Phil

 

I'll send her this tomorrow, which is why I wrote "I spent the whole night yesterday [...]".

Edited July 15, 2013 by Paddes16

[JDPT]

I was told that if I can remain strong, which I think I can do, I could leave her a message. And I feel like I should do this. I'm writing it right now, but I'll let you guys review it before I send it to her.

 

Thanks for the advice!

 

Edit: I just finished the small "letter", and this is what I got so far:

Alright, I spent the whole night yesterday to try and figure out if this is the right decision to do or not. If you're reading this, I figured out it'd be the best thing to do, for both of us. I finally realise that you're not interested in a relationship with me anymore. And I cannot force you into a relationship, if you don't want it. I will move on now, like you did weeks or even months ago. I have to learn to let go, even if it's hard. And this is my first step, I guess. I asked very experienced people that care about my situation and that probably know what's best for me, and they all advised me to just move on, as it's better for me AND you. I'd still like to thank you for the two years with you. I had one of the best moments of my life with you and the support you provided me in bad times was very nice to have. I hope for you that you'll find someone that suits you and I hope that he'll treat you nice. That's all I can hope for, that you'll be happy. Once again, thank you for the two years, the support, the joyful moments and in general being with me for so long. Thank you for making me a better person.

In love,

Phil

 

I'll send her this tomorrow, which is why I wrote "I spent the whole night yesterday [...]".

 

Looks good, now toss it in the garbage no need to send it to her.

[Paddes16]

Looks good, now toss it in the garbage no need to send it to her.

 

Grrr, but I cannot resist.

[Paddes16]

JDPT's right. No letter necessary, just start NC and be done with it.

 

Alright, I'm just going to trust you guys, as you've made your experience and probably just want to prevent me from going to the same sh*t you went through.

[JDPT]

Alright, I'm just going to trust you guys, as you've made your experience and probably just want to prevent me from going to the same sh*t you went through.

 

Do yourself a favor and save yourself future grief. Remain strong and in control start NC for your own sake. This is survival now, use all tools available to assist you in your recovery process. You will come out a wiser and stronger man.

[Paddes16]

Do yourself a favor and save yourself future grief. Remain strong and in control start NC for your own sake. This is survival now, use all tools available to assist you in your recovery process. You will come out a wiser and stronger man.

 

I will. Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate your help.

[JDPT]

I will. Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate your help.

 

We are all in the same boat trust me, we all need constant reminders and help in those weak moments that can lead us to make decisions we will later regret.