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Friend got dumped because she was not a virgin

xpaperxcutx

By xpaperxcutx
in General Relationship Discussion

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xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
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So a friend of mine just got dumped by her boyfriend because she wasn't Christian and she wasn't a virgin. It was so despicable of the guy to even use that as an excuse because they did have a sexual relationship. I felt bad for her and I'm extremely disgusted by the guy.

 

Honestly though, why are some people like that?

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Eggplant Established Member

Eggplant

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It's not despicable, unless he lead her on and knew about it from the beginning. And even then, I wouldn't say "despicable." His priorities are his priorities.

Eggplant Established Member

Eggplant

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I just read the part about their having relations. On second thought, your friend is lucky to be out. :sick:

Fondue Established Member

Fondue

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Yah, that's kind of a jerk thing to do.

 

I am the opposite. I wouldn't date a girl knowing she was a virgin. Would that make me despicable?

Eggplant Established Member

Eggplant

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People like him develop a reputation. I wouldn't hesitate to spread the word about him, lest any other women, virgins and non-virgins, waste their time with a snake. Simply tell people the truth about what he did.

Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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That's weird in this day and age of pre marital sex. When I was a young teen I really liked this one guy. When I told him I wanted to go slow because I was a virgin, he laughed in my face. I cut him off after that. Lots of jerks out there. If he played his cards right, I would've lost it to him.

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Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

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What men will use and take advantage of and what they actually respect can be entirely two different things.

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hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
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So a friend of mine just got dumped by her boyfriend because she wasn't Christian and she wasn't a virgin. It was so despicable of the guy to even use that as an excuse because they did have a sexual relationship. I felt bad for her and I'm extremely disgusted by the guy.

 

Honestly though, why are some people like that?

 

Do you know this for a fact or is that just what you were told? Keep in mind your friend is probably angry/pissed off about being kicked to the curb for whatever reason by her A-hole boyfriend...so "he dumped me for the STUPIDEST REASON!" might not be the entire story...............

  • Like 1
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

Posted
Posted
So a friend of mine just got dumped by her boyfriend because she wasn't Christian and she wasn't a virgin. It was so despicable of the guy to even use that as an excuse because they did have a sexual relationship. I felt bad for her and I'm extremely disgusted by the guy.

 

Honestly though, why are some people like that?

Thats the dudes prerogative. He wants a girl similar to him and to be her first as well as Christian.

 

He is dumb for not inquiring about her virginity sooner. He should have known that before hand. Dunno how that didnt come up.

sdraw108 Established Member

sdraw108

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Thats the dudes prerogative. He wants a girl similar to him and to be her first as well as Christian.

 

That makes no sense, unless he now plans to never date for the rest of his life, because if he does date someone, HE won't be a virgin, which makes him a hypocrite.

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Els Established Member

Els

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Thats the dudes prerogative. He wants a girl similar to him and to be her first as well as Christian.

 

He is dumb for not inquiring about her virginity sooner. He should have known that before hand. Dunno how that didnt come up.

 

I'm pretty sure the dude isn't dumb, no matter what else he may be (conniving, hypocritical comes to mind).

 

Christians who value virginity and not sleeping together before marriage, don't just sleep with someone and then dump them with the virgin excuse AFTER sleeping with them. They tend to talk extensively about sexual history prior to sleeping together. And with such people (who genuinely value virginity), having sex typically happens so late in a relationship that it's impossible to not know sexual history prior to it.

KathyM Established Member

KathyM

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He's hypocritical if he had sex with her and then is holding that against her. Of course, we don't know the whole story. Maybe it's possible he gave in to temptation with her and realized that is not what he wanted because it betrayed his faith, and he dumped her because she didn't share his convictions about this, and did not share his faith. That is possible. If he was just using her for sex, but wants his girlfriend to be pure, then that is hypocritical and despicable, but if he really had a change of heart or felt convicted about betraying his faith, and she did not, then I could see that he realized they were not a match and that is why he dumped her. I think that is a very likely scenario that is not despicable. That he gave in to temptation, but realized that is not what he wanted, and realized they were not a match because they didn't share the same views on this and didn't share the same faith.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Guys... you are all saying that because someone does something can't choose not to date people who does the same thing?

For example if a guy is fat can't he decide he like thin women? If a guy smokes can't he decide he want to date non smokers? If you are a delinquent do you have to accept all the delinquents around you as possible dates? If he is a sex fiend can't he have preference to settle with someone of lower experience or non?

Taste and action are totally different things... I would judge a guy who shame people who do the same as he does and I would call him an hypocrite but who do we choose to date and what criteria we use is individual and no one can tell you what is right or wrong.

Els Established Member

Els

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Guys... you are all saying that because someone does something can't choose not to date people who does the same thing?

For example if a guy is fat can't he decide he like thin women? If a guy smokes can't he decide he want to date non smokers? If you are a delinquent do you have to accept all the delinquents around you as possible dates? If he is a sex fiend can't he have preference to settle with someone of lower experience or non?

Taste and action are totally different things... I would judge a guy who shame people who do the same as he does and I would call him an hypocrite but who do we choose to date and what criteria we use is individual and no one can tell you what is right or wrong.

 

This guy didn't just have sex with other girls before her.

 

He had sex with HER. Before throwing out the virgin thing. That makes it doubly hypocritical. :o

  • Like 3
Lansing Established Member

Lansing

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What kind of "sexual relations" ... If they didn't have actual intercourse and she had intercourse with another guy/guys and didn't tell him about it and then only admitted it after then maybe he was more upset by her not being upfront?

 

I feel like there is more to this story then you are getting from your friend.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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This guy didn't just have sex with other girls before her.

 

He had sex with HER. Before throwing out the virgin thing. That makes it doubly hypocritical. :o

 

yes sorry, I didn't read the part where they had sex... that is indeed sick :sick::sick: . But not because he wants a virgin but because he led her on making her believe he wanted something with her (more than sex), used her and disposed her like something less than human. This kind of guys are just trash.

  • Like 4
RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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What men will use and take advantage of and what they actually respect can be entirely two different things.

 

I'm not sure why so many people 'liked' this post...

 

Real 'men' don't use and take advantage... because doing so would make them lose respect for themselves...

 

So maybe we ought to change this post to say...

 

"What A-holes will use and take advantage of and what they claim to actually respect can be entirely two different things"

 

That makes a whole lot more sense to me...

  • Like 6
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Real men this, and real men that.

 

Its all subjective.

404namenotfound Member

404namenotfound

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Without reading the rest of the thread I just want to comment on the OP. I see nothing wrong with that really, some Christians are really uptight about the no sex before marriage deal.

bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

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The guy is a joke. He has sex with her then he says, were breaking up because your not a virgin. NO SH-- Sherlock. He had sex with her so yes, she no longer a virgin and he must have known that before.

 

I hope I'm not out of line here but what is it with this Christian stuff. Are people that are Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim and others no good? If you meet someone and their good to you and for you and would make a good wife or husband, would it matter if they were something other than Christian? I hope that what I have just written hasn't offended anyone. I'm Christian but if I met a woman and we were good for each other, I wouldn't care one bit what her religion was. I can tell you this though, I would respect her beliefs.

404namenotfound Member

404namenotfound

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Ooops, disregard that earlier post, I misread the OP. I can't edit my post and now I look like an idiot.

  • Like 1
RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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Real men this, and real men that.

 

Its all subjective.

 

No it's not.

 

'using' and 'taking advantage' are not attributed to the masculine gender.

 

It is attributed to A-holes of either gender.

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Adele0908 Established Member

Adele0908

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He's repressed. Religion often does that to people.

Adele0908 Established Member

Adele0908

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she should let him go. He shouldn't criticize her for not being a virgin. it's very damaging. It's damaging to criticize people for things that they cannot change, and to repress a woman's natural sexuality. People go to church and get baptized and forget that we are mammals and that sexuality is natural and normal for a human. He is a damaged man and she should be grateful that he is gone. Please tell your friend this.

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Els Established Member

Els

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I'm not sure why so many people 'liked' this post...

 

Real 'men' don't use and take advantage... because doing so would make them lose respect for themselves...

 

So maybe we ought to change this post to say...

 

"What A-holes will use and take advantage of and what they claim to actually respect can be entirely two different things"

 

That makes a whole lot more sense to me...

 

I agree with you.

 

However, that's the first time I've ever seen NiP make a strong point without writing an essay about it! :laugh: That bears encouragement, even if he didn't qualify the sentence appropriately.

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