dru2u88 Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Hi guys uhmm kinda new to this after reading a couple of pages i figured i could talk here and get some things off my chest. well i met my wife and fell in love and brung her to my army post in 2011 we had rough times little arguments here and there especially with my little white lies or not talking to her when we did fight but we made it work and had a beautiful baby that looks like me. Anyways the military didnt reenlist me so i was getting out now finding a job 1 month out was hard and i got zero support from her, but i prevailed ...unfortunately to afghan as a contractor not even a month there she told me she was pregnant by another man. Now im not perfect i was complaining to a girl how i was being treated horribly, so i figured it was my fault she swore she would change stupidly i accepted her back and reconciled, fast forward 8 months i switched jobs and now working a really great contract she never showed me she was going to change and the arguments were still over petty stuff. So im finally home after a long time being away and somehow she lost her libido...unless it involves alcohol, so one night i snoop on her phone and find out she was talking to 3 diff guys, sending them sexy pics even i havent received...it tore me apart i stayed up all night wanting to yank her out of bed and tell me why i deserved to be treated like this. we yelled we fought and once again...reconciled. Now im back out here in iraq and **** just doesnt feel right at all especially after another fight were i want her to show she loves me and she posts on facebook "**** it im single and grown you dont like it bye" ...idk im rambling but i do love this woman but i doubt she will ever change.
Darren Steez Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Hi guys uhmm kinda new to this after reading a couple of pages i figured i could talk here and get some things off my chest. well i met my wife and fell in love and brung her to my army post in 2011 we had rough times little arguments here and there especially with my little white lies or not talking to her when we did fight but we made it work and had a beautiful baby that looks like me. Anyways the military didnt reenlist me so i was getting out now finding a job 1 month out was hard and i got zero support from her, but i prevailed ...unfortunately to afghan as a contractor not even a month there she told me she was pregnant by another man. Now im not perfect i was complaining to a girl how i was being treated horribly, so i figured it was my fault she swore she would change stupidly i accepted her back and reconciled, fast forward 8 months i switched jobs and now working a really great contract she never showed me she was going to change and the arguments were still over petty stuff. So im finally home after a long time being away and somehow she lost her libido...unless it involves alcohol, so one night i snoop on her phone and find out she was talking to 3 diff guys, sending them sexy pics even i havent received...it tore me apart i stayed up all night wanting to yank her out of bed and tell me why i deserved to be treated like this. we yelled we fought and once again...reconciled. Now im back out here in iraq and **** just doesnt feel right at all especially after another fight were i want her to show she loves me and she posts on facebook "**** it im single and grown you dont like it bye" ...idk im rambling but i do love this woman but i doubt she will ever change. She has clearly shown you no respect while you've been away serving. Pregnant by another man, so who's taking care of that baby? She feels single while you're away, I won't speculate on what she does but you can probably guess it. If she'll never change then do what's right. She has no respect for you. Time to leave.
aliveagain Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Why do you put up with her abuse? Close the bank, the bakery and show her the door. You are a meal ticket friend, she needs other men to validate her, she will never settle for just one man, this is a very broken girl. Was she sexually abused when she was young? She is cold on sex with you but a jack rabbit when it comes to other men. She will do to you what you allow her to do. Your best predictor of your future with this girl is to look at your history together. I would be willing to bet money that your current child will not be your only child fathered by another man if you stick with this one. Run, talk to a lawyer, get the divorce process started, you are going to get hurt if you stay.
Author dru2u88 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 I appreciate it, especially the quick replys, she hasnt worked since i brung her to the post or go to school, but i figured i stole a year from her so i should not pressure her to do anything but relax and have fun... She had a abortion when she found out and told me, i love her and the woman she was i just wished she would go back to that old ways. She always blames me for the lies and not talking to her to as why she does what she does. Also with being overseas its hard to start divorce anything i have no family so idk what to do.
Author dru2u88 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 also not she was not sexually abused. sorry if this is all rambling just had to get it off my chest.
drifter777 Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I appreciate it, especially the quick replys, she hasnt worked since i brung her to the post or go to school, but i figured i stole a year from her so i should not pressure her to do anything but relax and have fun... She had a abortion when she found out and told me, i love her and the woman she was i just wished she would go back to that old ways. She always blames me for the lies and not talking to her to as why she does what she does. Also with being overseas its hard to start divorce anything i have no family so idk what to do. No matter how hard it is to start divorce proceedings, start them. Until you are officially divorced you can live as if you already are and that's what you should do. Tell her you are through with her cheating ass and then don't talk to her - maintain zero contact. Find a counselor you can talk to and maybe advise you on the long-distance divorce. I'm sorry you are going through all this but it's much better to end things now before she betrays you again. Serial cheaters never change.
Author dru2u88 Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 No matter how hard it is to start divorce proceedings, start them. Until you are officially divorced you can live as if you already are and that's what you should do. Tell her you are through with her cheating ass and then don't talk to her - maintain zero contact. Find a counselor you can talk to and maybe advise you on the long-distance divorce. I'm sorry you are going through all this but it's much better to end things now before she betrays you again. Serial cheaters never change. i would love to not communicate with her but we have a daughter that i love so much ... im just hurting.
Darren Steez Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 i would love to not communicate with her but we have a daughter that i love so much ... im just hurting. You can still do right by your daughter. No one says you have abandon her but conversely you also don't have to put up with your wife's behavior.
aliveagain Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 You state that she posted on facebook that she is an adult and single and if you don't like it bye. I would reply to her facebook that as an adult she is free to date anyone she wants, just not as your wife. She just gave you an ultimatum, as long as you are gone she's single. Your choices are you can agree with that statement and know that your wife is openly dating( having unprotected sex with multiple men risking your health, possibly risking your child by bringing other men around her), or choosing to remove yourself from this scenario and choosing not to stay married to a serial cheater. Since you can not control her I would choose the latter. The military has many services to help their men, take advantage of them including any counseling. The worst thing you can do is nothing. Start the process by changing your banking, last thing you want is to finance her dating. Protect your baby, talk to your superiors if they allow you access to legal, you need to know your legal rights. Friend, there are things way worse than being divorced, sharing your wife with other men is one of them.
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