jorgon1022 Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I am new to the forum guys and I am posting because I am in need of serious help. There is this girl that I met a few weeks back and we hit it off great . We arent dating or anything but we were talking with the intention to get to know each other romantically. She lives around 3 hours away from me but I need your guys help. Last night she called me and told me that she was feeling SAD and that I was a big reason why. She then told me that she didnt mean to bring up her ex but that her ex never made her feels stupid. In reality, my intention was never to make her feel stupid but apparently because I go to school and my way of thinking is very logical, she feels that she is scared to say anything because she doesnt want to sound like an idiot. I have never ever judged her and I actually find her to be very smart. Shes 19 years old, im 24. She then proceeds to tell me that she just wants to be friends right now and that we should get to know our personalities and that maybe 4-7 months the road we can re evaluate and see if we want to be in a relationship. I just feel bad because I thought that everything was going GREAT. In fact, two days ago, she told me that she wasnt infatuated and that she knew what she wanted and that she would be persistent enough to get with me since what she wanted was ME. I will admit that yesterday she wanted to skype and I wasnt able to do so because I went out with one of my guy friends and the day before she wanted me to stay up late with her and I told her that it was best if she went to sleep. I am scared that she doesnt like me anymore and that she lost interest. She said that she wasnt afraid to get hurt, rather she was afraid to hurt me. She also stated that she was really sad and admitted to me that it was that time of the month and that maybe thats the reason why she was feeling that way. I feel that I should let her be and just dont bug her anymore, but the only thing that is getting me is that two days ago she told me that she would do anything to be with me and that she could see herself being my girlfriend. However, I will admit that I am scared to say anything and I cant be myself around her because she always feels that I am attacking her or making her feel stupid. I understand this is a very long post, but I really need help from you guys. Thank You
New User Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Prelude to a high conflict relationship. She's vacillated between liking and not liking you, says that you make her feel stupid, and from my reading of your post gone from indifferent to needy and back. It sounds like she craves drama from what you wrote here- if that's your thing then go for it. If you want a (more) consistent relationship I'd suggest you move on. The whole arc of your interactions reeks of emotional manipulation to me.
Author jorgon1022 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 why do you think that is though? Is it that shes insecure, immature, etc? Do you think her feelings for me might be real and shes just scared to get hurt?
New User Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 why do you think that is though? Is it that shes insecure, immature, etc? Do you think her feelings for me might be real and shes just scared to get hurt? I don't know. I just know some of the warning signs that you are heading into dramaville. That "scared to be hurt" thing is a rationalization. Whichever way you approach this (Personally, I'd drop back ten and punt- but that's your choice) I would highly caution against trying to be the guy that "saves her." That rarely works out very well and the tone of your story suggests that you have that desire and she's playing to it. Just my take on it from what you've written so far.
Author jorgon1022 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 You might be right. Honestly, I am really liking this girl and I really want this to work out. Maybe if I give her space, she will eventually realize that I did care for her and then she will come back? Or is this just wishful thinking?
New User Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 You might be right. Honestly, I am really liking this girl and I really want this to work out. Maybe if I give her space, she will eventually realize that I did care for her and then she will come back? Or is this just wishful thinking? There isn't any way to know that for sure. The only thing I would say is that if she's seeking drama now that is unlikely to change. I'm just an anonymous dude on the internet giving my opinion based on my interpretation of your description- what you do with it and what actions you take are entirely up to you. If it were me, I'd be stepping back and I'd be wary of her in the future. Question is what do you do- not what would I do. Good luck.
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