brandyb Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 (edited) I'm 34 and my gf is 29, we have been living together for 5 years. The first 3 were great, the 4th was good, and the 5th...well its okay. This is where I need advice: I love my gf but I also know that my love is no where near what it use to be for her. I have tried to talk to her many times about our problems but a week later we are back to where we were. I have dealt with her drinking and we worked through it. She doesn't drink now, but it took me video taping her to see how she was when she was drunk. I knew she smoked pot when she was 18 or so but now she smokes it almost everyday. It bothers me that she spends a good amount of money on something that literally goes up in smoke. She has a bad gallbladder and her doctor gives her lortab 10 for the pain, she eats them like candy. A 30 (90 pills) day supply might last her 14 days. She uses my love for her against me. If I loved her I would understand how much pain she is in or how stressed out she is because of work. When I started bitching about how much money she spends on pot she has started working 7 days a week and trading stuff for it. I'm not perfect, but it is so hard for me to live with someone like this when I don't smoke anything, drink, or pop pills. I don't depend on things to cope with life, I do it sober. I miss the person I fell in love with...maybe she was this person all along. I've gotten to the point I don't even say anything about what she is doing because I know that I cant make her want to change and that is the part that scares me, Im tired of fighting over the same thing and I can tell my feelings for her are changing. Not sure what to do.... Edited July 14, 2013 by brandyb forgot to add something
ddlovexx Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I've learned the hard way that sometimes people change, and not for the better. Despite how tough life can get, you should work through it and find a way to be okay. In my opinion, both partners should work to be better for each other and in your case, I'm not sure she's doing that for you. I know it's tough but I'd really think this through. If you stick around you're most likely going to find yourself growing miserable. The right love grows and grows, the two people become closer and stronger with time- think about older couples who are still together and crazy about each other. It seems like yours might be heading in the opposite direction. You can't change a person and you should never want to, but sometimes people grow apart. From what I've read, I'm not sure she values you as she should anymore. And as cliche as it sounds: sometimes good things fall apart to make way for better things. Good luck bud, I think you'll figure it out.
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