I met a great guy and I am afraid to mess it up

[FuturePanda]

I met a wonderful guy through some of my friends. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met. He completely puts me at ease. We have been sort of talking since we met about two weeks ago. We haven't hung out more than a few times becasue he lives an hour away. We text a lot and talk on the phone and facetime.

The second night we ever hung out we kind of got a little physical but I stopped it because I had had a little bit to drink and I didn't want to do anything without an absolutely clear head. I have been single for some time, and he has been single for 4 years. From what I've gotten from him as well as our mutual friends is that he doesn't mess around with anyone if he doesn't see it turning into something real.

Long story short everything was fine the next day and every day after until I brought it up the other day just to be sure he knew he didn't do anything wrong. The night it happened we didn't discuss it and I wanted him to understand that I was trying to make a sound decision that was meant to not ruin our chances of getting to know eachother. Since I brought it up he has been distant, he feels bad for making a move not knowing I had had a few drinks. I told him I remember everything I just didn't want things to happen that way. That I like him and wanted it to happen differently and when I could be fully present.

Now his texts are short and since I can't see him for awhile I don't know what to do. For now I'm giving him space because he also has some heavy stuff going on in his life right now and I don't want to be bothersome. I like him so much and I'm fine with taking things slow, I just don't want to mess this up.

Is giving him space (not texting him for awhile) the right thing to do?

[charlietheginger]

Yea you find a great respectful guy and now your gonna play hot n cold

Staying distant and he is gonna think great

Hot n cold

Hard to get

Outta reach... I agree with the poster above

 

I bet he will sense your a emotional game play and

Just take it your not interested....

[PCS991]

I met a wonderful guy through some of my friends. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met. He completely puts me at ease. We have been sort of talking since we met about two weeks ago. We haven't hung out more than a few times becasue he lives an hour away. We text a lot and talk on the phone and facetime.

The second night we ever hung out we kind of got a little physical but I stopped it because I had had a little bit to drink and I didn't want to do anything without an absolutely clear head. I have been single for some time, and he has been single for 4 years. From what I've gotten from him as well as our mutual friends is that he doesn't mess around with anyone if he doesn't see it turning into something real.

Long story short everything was fine the next day and every day after until I brought it up the other day just to be sure he knew he didn't do anything wrong. The night it happened we didn't discuss it and I wanted him to understand that I was trying to make a sound decision that was meant to not ruin our chances of getting to know eachother. Since I brought it up he has been distant, he feels bad for making a move not knowing I had had a few drinks. I told him I remember everything I just didn't want things to happen that way. That I like him and wanted it to happen differently and when I could be fully present.

Now his texts are short and since I can't see him for awhile I don't know what to do. For now I'm giving him space because he also has some heavy stuff going on in his life right now and I don't want to be bothersome. I like him so much and I'm fine with taking things slow, I just don't want to mess this up.

Is giving him space (not texting him for awhile) the right thing to do?

 

I'm a guy and I am in the same position as you. I don't want to mess it up. I haven't a clue how fast or slow to move. Our friendship/relationship is long distance but not a concern for either of us as we are financially in the position to fly back and forth at any time as often as we want. I just don't know how to keep it moving in the right direction....maybe I am already and don't know it?? All seems fine.

[FuturePanda]

I'm not trying to employ "emotional gameplay". I resent that. I just haven't been in a position like this in years and it makes me feel very vulnerable and afraid to mess it up. Especially considering how high the potential for misunderstandings are via text.

But everything is going great right now with him, we are communicating just fine and I'm learning to just relax and enjoy this period of us getting to know each other.

[Tinie]

Go with the flow.

 

If you keep thinking "Gosh I have to be careful I might mess this up" you'll be putting a lot of pressure on yourself and you're more likely to mess up that way.

 

Breathe.

 

Relax.

 

Allow for progression to occur naturally.