The complication of triangles

[Peterpiper17]

So this is a long story.

 

About 4 months ago I met a girl, we started dating and soon we were seeing each other all the time, I stayed round frequently, we went on a trip together and everything was good. The one thing was that I was scared of how I was feeling so I made a couple of excuses and ran out. I came back after a day realizing my stupidity. About a month ago I decided I needed a little bit of time to work my head out. I told her this and I left. She said she would wait because she loved me more than anyone else, she'd never felt this way and I was perfect. I'm aware these could of just been words but I truly believed her.

 

I stayed in limited contact to just say I was coming back. I'd always said I would come back. After 3 weeks I knew in my head I was ready. I contacted her and said I wanted to meet. She then texts me saying she had been seeing another guy and wanted a chance with him. I text her a lot of stuff saying I'd give her what she wanted, I loved her totally and was ready to commit.

 

After 1 week she agreed to meet me. She told me she had broke it off with the other guy and wanted me. We hung out that night and the next morning. We laid on her sofa, talked it all out and she said she loved me, never wanted me to leave and I was perfect. Even saying little things like I gave her butterflies. She said she was totally sure of her decision.

 

The same afternoon she goes to work and I receive a text message saying she doesn't feel the same anymore, she wants to be with the other guy and hope I do well. This hurt me a d confused me totally.

 

How can someone say those things in the morning then do that in the afternoon?

 

She wouldn't accept texts or calls. I probably text too much but finally 3 days later I got a reply saying she loved this guy, he was stable, mature, and a better fit for her. This makes no sense at all because the guy is married with a 4 month year old kid. Obviously he has said he will divorce for her. Yeah ok.

 

Anybody shed some light on this for me? I'm ready to commit to her and believe it is right. It was only short but everything was just comfortable and natural.

 

On her background she had a bad childhood and has abandonment issues. I understand this and my texts when she did this were predominantly to let her know I was not leaving and would support her no matter what.

 

Help

 

Thanks

[Peterpiper17]

And just so we are clear, I work hard, have a good income and treated her with respect as a person should before anyone asks.

[Ajax]

I know you want a nuanced and complicated answer for your complicated triangle, but the simplest answers are usually the most effective.

 

Let her go. Her abandonment issues cease to be your problem when she decides she wants someone else. You need to do what's best for you and for your healing, which is cutting the cord completely. Otherwise this open wound will never heal.

 

Just

 

Stop

 

Talking

 

To

 

Her

[Peterpiper17]

I know that is precisely what I should do and I am now not contracting her. It's up to her what she does but me as a person will always be there for her.

 

I'm just confused as to how someone switches off so soon.