GJB6471 Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 ive been dating this girl for 3 years, shes 27 know. she broke up with her bf to be with me. 10 months later i found out she was dating her roomate for 8 years, (different guy). i stayed, also she still lives with him in a 1 bed room apt. i met her family at the beginning twice that was 3 years ago, she always has excusses why i cant come with her to see them, never spent a holiday with her or her family, she goes out of town at lease once a month and im never allowed or asked to go. when shes out of town she never answers her phone all ways an excuss. ill be honest ive been an ass to her. always accusing her of something. in 3 years she has never changed her ways. now that she has given me the boot, she still contacts me, i tell her i want the communication to stop she gets mad. i saw her last week. all i tell her is to come back give it another shot, she gets mad says she doesnt want to talk about it. she says she doesnt want to go back to the fighting. but she wont change and i cant date anyone who hides me from friends and family. i know theres alot of damage, but i always bring up the past, cant help it. she says she still cares, and doesnt know whats going to happen. why wont she let me go. i cant move on till she tells me. everyone has said leave her and dont look back. i almost feel sorry for her being the way she is.. i know i havent been very nice to her because of the past. i guess im angry for being such a fool for so long.
Merin Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 You CAN let her go and let go of this toxic relationship without her consent, or permission. She isn't going to ever give you the permission to move on that right now you feel you need to have... You DON'T NEED her to TELL you it's okay for you to move on.. She is SHOWING you with her ACTIONS that she has let go of the relationship. I'm so sorry you're going through this.. it's obviously very painful for you. While there is 3 sides to every story.. HIS, HERS, and what actually happened... just from what you've said here, I can understand why you were suspicious of her and/or accusing.. for real 3 years together and your not allowed or invited to spend holidays with her and her family? She goes out of town once a month and can't answer her phone? Whats up with that!? You're going to have to take the low road here and enforce your wishes that she not contact you any longer. IF that means blocking her number so she can't call you, blocking her from emailing you, returning any letters she may send to you, then so be it. It isn't fair for her to continue to bait you and make you feel in limbo. The only persons behaviour you can change is your own. Take back control over your own life, you'll feel so much better. Good Luck
Weird Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 from what you posted she sounds mega immature and not worth dealing with. Just do your best to ignore her and hpefully she gets the hint and will quit contacting you. I agree with what Merin2 said.
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