Jump to content

Extremely angry, drafted a letter...

iouaname

By iouaname
in Coping

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

iouaname Established Member

iouaname

Posted
Posted

I won't go into full detail, but I have been harboring a lot of anger towards my ex over things that he has said about me/done to me. I have been holding onto it for a long time, and have tried different things to let go - none of it has worked.

 

This morning I got so angry that I wrote him a letter in which I basically told him I was going to pay him back for the way he hurt me. I didn't send it, but I want to so badly. Being sad was one thing, but being angry is really destroying me. I just want to get past it.

  • Like 1
Eivuwan Established Member

Eivuwan

Posted
Posted

Post the letter here instead of to your ex! Even if everything you say it's true, he wouldn't understand you because if he were able to you wouldn't be in this situation right? Post it here so we can support you.

  • Like 2
  • Author
iouaname Established Member

iouaname

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yeah, I just need to vent, I think. He claimed the relationship ****ed up his life. I have no idea how, because everything is fine for him and he never had to deal with the pain of being cheated on or lied to or anything :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
Eivuwan Established Member

Eivuwan

Posted
Posted

Yeah it's funny when they play the victim. Ex said he doesn't know what his life means anymore and other random stuff that made it seem like I was the one who was breaking up with him... -_-

  • Like 1
LostGirl11 Established Member

LostGirl11

Posted
Posted

Post it here maybe. Being angry is better than missing him. I was crazy angry a couple of weeks ago then BAM, I was back to missing him again!

  • Like 1
theonlyjuan Established Member

theonlyjuan

Posted
Posted

Don't actually send that letter! I wrote out my thoughts and it felt good to vent. I would have regretted sending anything.

 

Best revenge - Live well.

  • Like 2
groupergirl Member

groupergirl

Posted
Posted
I won't go into full detail, but I have been harboring a lot of anger towards my ex over things that he has said about me/done to me. I have been holding onto it for a long time, and have tried different things to let go - none of it has worked.

 

This morning I got so angry that I wrote him a letter in which I basically told him I was going to pay him back for the way he hurt me. I didn't send it, but I want to so badly. Being sad was one thing, but being angry is really destroying me. I just want to get past it.

 

It is awesome that you wrote your negative feelings on paper - now burn the letter (my friend told me to do this and I did not understand at the time). Do not send the letter, burn it. See they do not care or understand what they have done to you. We look very bitter in their eyes regardless of right and wrong. I too harbor ill feelings (somehow we both MUST LET IT GO). I am trying so hard.

 

I told my mom why can't I go over there and tell him how I feel. Why not be classless why do I have to be the smart one, I don't care how he reacts, I want to tell him how much of a loser he is. Mom said, HE JUST DOES NOT CARE, He is not capable of caring, you would lose in the long run. Do not do it.

 

I care about you, just write your feelings down and be done with it.....

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

Posted
Posted

he might well get mean back, I think you should wait for his life to go wrong, which is a Chinese proverb, something will happen because life is like that, things happen good and bad, imho

  • Like 1
groupergirl Member

groupergirl

Posted
Posted

I don't want to wait on life to pay his butt back. It does not work that way. I am finally at a place - broke up 5/28 actually moved on 6/21 had a new girlfriend 5/28 - which you know what that means. He was so over me it was the coldest thing I have ever experienced in my life. I still didn't do anything wrong but love him. Our neighbor told me I should have treated him badly - then he would have loved me more. Can you actually believe a grown adult said that? They were serious. That is very sad and telling on my part to fall in love with someone like that.

 

So much pain in my heart, so much but guys I am working through this and I know we can all work through this.

 

Are we more upset that things didn't work out or more upset we wasted so much time with someone we should not have been with in the first place. Anyone to break your heart like that - we had no business being with. I am still trying to find the answer to that question.

 

We must be very honest with ourselves.

Ashlaria Member

Ashlaria

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hey iouaname,

 

Life sucks at the moment huh? I know exactly how you feel, however I am a lot older than you and I know that all things pass. You feel angry, hurt, rejected, you are probably wondering what you could have done differently etc.

 

Try looking at it this way - what if he decided he didn't love you, but you were better than being single, so he stuck around. Not looking after you properly, not loving you, just being there for another year, two years then finally he moved on. How would you feel then? Isn't it better than he let you go now, so you can move on and find someone who really loves you?

 

It is a good thing to write down your feelings, I am doing this and do you know what? I look back at things I wrote at the start of the break-up and they are already different to how I feel now.

 

It is hard to see he is with someone else, but you need to let go of that. He IS NOT the one for you, there is someone else out there that will be your other half, that will make you wonder what you ever saw in this loser.

 

Good luck and well done for not sending the letter, you would have regretted it later, trust me ;)

Edited by Ashlaria
typo
  • Like 1
groupergirl Member

groupergirl

Posted
Posted

I swear that statement hit a nerve, that is kinda what I think, he kept me around til he found what he thinks is better, because he didn't want to be alone - just like his mom has done her whole life - (which by the way he said he could not stand this about his own mother).

 

Thanks, sometimes reading things in black and white make a big difference.

  • Like 1
mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

Posted
Posted

IOU - I relate. I go back and forth to anger. Mostly feel used, manipulated and deceived for almost the entire duration of my 3 year RS. Not sure if I am more pissed at her for doing it to me, or myself for letting her. A little of both I suppose. Either way, it makes me so angry. Sometimes I would like to just rip her a new one for purposefully thrashing me the way she did. But then, I realize that only make me look like a giant tool. So I give her radio silence instead. Not nearly as satisfying at the moment, but much better in the long run.

 

I realize now that the reason she acted this way to me (and why I let her) is that I have a problem setting boundries. Especially when it comes to intimacy with someone I find very attractive. It's like, I will let them do anything to me and I am just happy they are there. I know. Major self-worth issues. Working on it :p

  • Like 2
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...