scorpion123 Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 My husband cheated on me one year ago. Now, he is staying in another country and I suppose that woman is still around. Actually, he started an anulment petition but I contested to the contents. So, he has no way but to withdraw it. Now,he is hanging the whole matter in the air. He does not want to pay a single cent. He can still enjoy his single life over that country with all sorts of women. What should I do? My lawyer has in fact talked to his lawyer but it seemed that lawyer of his is also dragging the matter. Have anyone ever encountered such thing?
Merin Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 If a divorce has been filed for then there are time frames set up for how long each party (the petitioner or the respondant) have to file a response to the court. You've already said that you had contested the content of what he (your husband) had asked for.. so I will assume your attorney filed your response with the court? At this point if nothing is being done, then you need to get with your attorney again and ask him or her to set this matter for a emergency hearing with the courts. Most times if a divorce is contested (even if it's the content of what each party wants) the matter is turned over to mediation. At that time the court appoints a Mediator that meets with each party and thier attorney to try to come to agreement in all matters. If mediation fails then the matter is set for court and a judge makes the final ruling and decisons of what is fair in the matter. Speak with your attorney. Good Luck
brashgal Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 Unfortunately this can drag on for a very long period of time - depending upon the jurisdiction and the elements involved (kids, alimony, joint property, etc). You will have to continue to get on your lawyer to take the appropriate actions. You have to drive this, sounds like he has no reason to do so unless he wants to remarry. Regarding his infidelity - this really doesn't have anything to do with compensating you. The courts will be looking at his income, your income (if any), joint property, etc - so if you both currently make about the same amount of money and you have no property to fight over, this should be pretty clear cut. Unless there is some sort of morality clause where you live I doubt you would get any more money from him than if you just decided to dissolve your marriage for other reasons. Not to say what he is doing is right - it is hurtful - I feel for you. Be good to yourself.
Author scorpion123 Posted October 23, 2004 Author Posted October 23, 2004 yeah..i contested to his anulment petition. When my lawyer wrote to his lawyer saying that if there is no actions then we shall escalate it to court hearing. Upon hearing from us, the idiotic husband of mine asked his lawyer to withdraw it. So, the petition is withdrawn. So, i suppose he will drag the matter as he has no ground for divorce. I just wana write it out on the site here to get it off my chest. I should leave to my attorney's hands right?
izzybelle Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 your attorney will have to handle things but that doesn't mean you should just forget about it. my first ex really dragged his feet and i spent well over a year in limbo before i could move on. obviously my divorce wasn't a priority for my lawyer and it wasn't until i pushed that things actually started to move. i could have gotten my ex in soooooo much trouble and in retrospect, i sort of wish i had. he was in the military and we both agreed that a divorce was in order. he was out of state so i lost track of what he was up to and what was going on. what i found out from his sister years later was that he had let things slide so he could continue getting the spousal support money from the military. he had told them that i wasn't with him because i was finishing my grad degree (a degree he was against my getting). so not only was he getting that money and keeping it, he had another girlfriend and by the time the divorce actually went through he had a child with her and another on the way. so if this is what you want, don't just assume that you attorney will keep things going. you don't have to be a pest but check in periodically to see where things stand. there was no property, kids, etc. involved in mine so it was pretty straight forward but even through the divorce, my ex continued using me and not letting me move on with my life until i finally took charge and pushed things through.
Merin Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 Originally posted by scorpion123 yeah..i contested to his anulment petition. When my lawyer wrote to his lawyer saying that if there is no actions then we shall escalate it to court hearing. Upon hearing from us, the idiotic husband of mine asked his lawyer to withdraw it. So, the petition is withdrawn. So, i suppose he will drag the matter as he has no ground for divorce. I just wana write it out on the site here to get it off my chest. I should leave to my attorney's hands right? So the petition for divorce was completely withdrawn? If that's the case, and YOU haven't filed for divorce nor has he... then YES you really need to contact your attorney and file this yourself! I have no idea what state you live in... but in most states (check the laws within yours) the only "grounds for divorce" needed is the marriage is broken and cannot be fixed... called "No fault divorce" however if your state requires grounds for a divorce.. I'm thinking the fact that your husband has essentially abandoned you is good enough. Good Luck, and please contact your attorney
Author scorpion123 Posted October 25, 2004 Author Posted October 25, 2004 Yeah, the petition for anulment is completely withdrawn. So back to square one. Actually the compensation which I am demanding is due to my income loss. He asked me to resign from my job and join him in the foriegn land. 6 weeks after my arrival, he revealed about the woman and wanted a divorce. After much humiliation and salvagation, he still refused to repair our marriage. He was crazy aboiut the woman. I packed my bags and went back to my country. There are grounds for divorce (I am staying in asia). Anyway, thanks for all the advices...i do appreciate that.
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