Positive H Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Hi LS, I need some advice. Is it worth writing your ex, perhaps for the last time, telling her how you feel? She wants to be just friends (she broke it off with me), and I tried, but I cant because I feel like I am just doing everything because I love her, and I feel like I am being used. I just cant hang out with her knowing that at the end of the night she's going to be seeing other people. We were amazing together and I gave her everything to make sure we were happy. We were best friends as well so this is a double blow =( Also I want to understand why she'd rather be with some some loser player(she's been hooking up with), and I want to include how he's a scumbag and that she's better than that. Thanks, H
StrongLass Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 In this exact order: Write it. Burn it. Go full NC. Sending it to her will only make you look petty. As for the "scumbag"? she chose him over you...take her off the pedestal in your mind and realize she might not be all that better than that after all! 3
AllTooWell Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Short answer: Jesus Christ NO. Long answer: Do not write her anything. She KNOWS how you feel already. She DUMPED you. She doesn't want to be with you and all this will do is push her FARTHER AWAY FROM YOU. You shouldn't be friends with her. You shouldn't be having any contact with her. She is only keeping you as a "friend" to ease the guilt she feels about dumping you. She is with someone else now. She is not thinking about you the way you think about her. I'm sorry that is so harsh to hear. But when you write her this letter you will literally be SIGNING OVER ALL THE POWER TO HER. She DUMPED you. You need to take back your life and go NC on her. Let her sit and FEEL THE EFFECTS OF HER DECISION TO LEAVE YOU. She wants you around on her terms, screw that this is YOUR LIFE and you deserve better. Writing this letter will make her lose respect for you, will make you sound desperate, and you will NOT GET THE RESPONSE YOU WANT FROM HER. If she wanted to be with you she wouldn't have dumped you and wouldn't be seeing someone else. Do not do it. It will push her farther away and decrease your future chances with her. Go NC.
Nicoleiia Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Please don't send her a letter. She broke up with you and is probably suffering from G.I.G.S. The best thing you can do is NC. Don't speak to her anymore and move on with your life. In a few months, you're going to look back and be glad you didn't send her a letter, trust me!
JDPT Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Absolutely NO, I know there is so much you want to get out of your chest but as suggested put it in writing and when you are done toss it in the trash and out the door it goes. As stated you feel like you are being used, I know the feeling and it's terrible you don't want that, you are better than that and you deserve more than that. Remain in control, don't allow a weak moment to make you do things you will later regret, just get through this moment you will come out of it ok.
SimonSerenade Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Do it for yourself if it'll make you feel better but keep it at that, if it makes NC easier to live with then it'll be worth while and it won't matter how you look, what's important is that you feel at peace with yourself and start to heal afterwards, personally I wouldn't give that bitch one ounce of satisfaction, sometimes there is no reason for what people do after a relationship, at least none that would sound like music to your ears, don't think about it unless you want to drive yourself to the crazy house, I know she meant a lot to you but she isn't the girl you fell for anymore and by the sounds of it if they were handing out tests for being a good friend she'd get a big fat F!, you sound like a genuine person, please don't let her take advantage of that by sticking around.
Author Positive H Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 Thanks everyone. Should I at least tell her I dont want to be her friend? I mean I already told her I would try to be her friend (which is how we started), but after a few weeks of this it's killing me and has stressed me out beyond reason.
AllTooWell Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 No. Don't tell her anything. Simply delete and move on, block her number if you won't be able to resist responding to her messages. You will only cause more drama/issues by telling her you don't want to be friends and will make it harder on yourself.
Nicoleiia Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Thanks everyone. Should I at least tell her I dont want to be her friend? I mean I already told her I would try to be her friend (which is how we started), but after a few weeks of this it's killing me and has stressed me out beyond reason. Don't tell her anything. Forget about her. It's a wrap!
Author Positive H Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 No. Don't tell her anything. Simply delete and move on, block her number if you won't be able to resist responding to her messages. You will only cause more drama/issues by telling her you don't want to be friends and will make it harder on yourself. Don't tell her anything. Forget about her. It's a wrap! Okay. I have already started ignoring her calls this week, hurts me every time, but I am just tired of hurting after every time I see her. Thanks.
SimonSerenade Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Tell her your not interested in being her friend and walk away, if it's how you really feel then your not exactly lying to her are you?, I know you want more than friends but unless you give her the option of having neither, your chances of ever being with her again are super duper slim, don't hold out hope though, unfortunately it's rare exes ever come back at all unless it was a really amazing relationship and she realises things are pretty crappy without you, you seriously need to drop out of her life like a dead fly right now and heal yourself, otherwise she's going to view you as the sad kitty cat coming back for more milk and she will use you at her will whenever when feels like it.
Used2KnowU Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 you can write the letter just to get it off your chest but do not send it as everyone else has said. it wont change her mind and will just make you look needy. your better than that!!! i would send her a message saying you want more than friends and if she can't do that then goodbye and farewell and get on with your life. my ex of 6 years dumped me bout a year aback believe me when i say do not waste your time sending her a damn thing. many fish in the sea
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