sillygoose66 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Me M/24 And ex F/22 2.5 year relationship, but we've been back and forth for 4 years. This could be a long long story but I'll simplify it. Shes cheated on me twice. Wanted to make it worth both times. This last "spurt" was a 3 month long testing the waters stage but she broke it off for someone who is more "successful" and older. She says I haven't changed, which the reasons for the breakups were ridiculous. She just wanted to see if the grass is greener and when they fail she comes back and I being a dumbass take her back greatfully. I have given this woman everything she has ever wanted. Expensive birthday gifts, got her out of financial troubles, sent her to school, fixed her car so she could progress jobs. I've seen and pushed(eventually) this woman turn from no-one into a up and coming model. I know shes selfish and shes told me that she is. That she wants all the attention on her and not on me and her (I am getting my bachelors in a year). She just wants someone who is already successful. During these last three months she found him as well and didnt tell me about him. I have a knack for knowing something is up with her and read her diary(I know I cant trust her and will never be able to). It hurts, I think she is the most beautiful person but I do know that her personality is ugly but for some reason that doesn't stop from wanting her back. She made me feel good about myself, she made me feel like I could get someone so beautiful. I have hit the gym over these last 2 years and am in the best shape of my life(actually want to be a bodybuilder) and I have a hopeful future, but it saddens me that I cant be there when we both become successful. I have someone interested in me at the moment, I find her cute and she dulls the random heart break moments that constantly jump into my head, but I feel I can not fully appreciate her. It sucks, and I know I am a terrible person for continuing it but she knows all about my heartbreak as well. I've done this breakup phase 3 times already and I (being a retard) told my ex I would give her 2 months to decide what she wants. I already know the answer, but I always find hope where there is none. Right now we are basically no contact since after I found out she just kind of eliminated me to focus on him. I just wanted to rant, sorry if its way too long. My friends all think shes poison for me too.
Eivuwan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I think it would help if you start valuing personalities more than looks. Why are looks so important to you? Not that working out and having a great body isn't good, but why is that your main focus?
SimonSerenade Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I know how you feel man, my ex was really pretty and had an amazing figure to boost but I have to agree with the poster above, looks shouldn't always come in to it, my ex had a butt ugly personality, one side of her was really nice and amazing but it don't mean much either way if she treats you badly and cheats all over your ass, I've met some really nice people since she dumped me, great looks and personalities but none of them was her, it's going to take me a long time to ever be ready to let anybody in again but we have to try.
Eivuwan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I guess I have never been the type of person to fall for someone on looks alone so this is a bit hard for me to understand. I find that when I love someone's personality they start looking more and more attractive to me physically. And when I hate someone's personality they start looking less and less physically attractive even though they are conventionally attractive.
Author sillygoose66 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 Well, she didn't have a bad personallity 2 years ago. She grew more beautiful over the last 4 years and kind of found her sex appeal over that time. So she took her looks and ran with it. I didnt fall for her on looks alone trust me. I just remember when she wasnt so vane and actually gave a **** about other people. but the past is the past and I understand that. 1
Eivuwan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Well, she didn't have a bad personallity 2 years ago. She grew more beautiful over the last 4 years and kind of found her sex appeal over that time. So she took her looks and ran with it. I didnt fall for her on looks alone trust me. I just remember when she wasnt so vane and actually gave a **** about other people. but the past is the past and I understand that. Yeah I know what you mean. My ex wasn't very attractive when he asked me out four years ago because he was eating unhealthy. Then a year ago he started really transforming his body with exercise and then decided I wasn't good looking enough for him anymore. I was working on my looks and health for the past half year but that's not fast enough for him. Doesn't matter that I had major surgery for a tumor right before I started working on my health more. It really hurts. He used to care about things other than appearance and money, but that's all he cares about now. It's very sad when people grow in a different direction that also happens to be a bad one. Four years of a relationship and it came down to how fast I was improving my looks. Sad isn't it.
Author sillygoose66 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 Ended up being about who could take care of her better in the end. Even though she had it all when she was with me, it never was enough.
LifeGoesOnMan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Wow she's a bitch. A shallow one at that. You WILL find better. That's guaranteed, your a good dude =] 1
Eivuwan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Yes... for selfish people it's always about them and what they lack...
LifeGoesOnMan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Yes... for selfish people it's always about them and what they lack... Yea I was in same situation, took care of my gf for 7 years, got her a job, moved out and got an apartment with her because she got kicked out of her parents homes, set her up financially and she just up and left me when she was all set and comfortable, like it was nothing. Women...sigh. 1
Eivuwan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Yea I was in same situation, took care of my gf for 7 years, got her a job, moved out and got an apartment with her because she got kicked out of her parents homes, set her up financially and she just up and left me when she was all set and comfortable, like it was nothing. Women...sigh. Please don't overgeneralize. My ex was selfish and he's a man. 1
Author sillygoose66 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 I know karma will get her in the end. Every time she does this too me, it ends up biting her bad. She always comes back after shes financially messed up and I always take her back. I'm hoping I can be stronger this time around.
Eivuwan Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Yes, I am afraid of being too softhearted too. That's why I block him on everything that I can think of. NC means no chance to be softhearted.
Author sillygoose66 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 have to say the dreams and the random zoning out and thinking about her is the worst. I pull out my phone to text her(memorized her number), then think whats the point, put it away, and feel a gut wrenching feeling that puts me in a bad mood swing for a while. Thinking of her with someone else, it sucks.
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