buzzie2 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 If a guy is known to be a huge player, is there ever any chance that he would one day want to settle down if he met the right woman? Or do players always stay players?
ThaWholigan Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 It is certainly possible. Sometimes a persons evolution brings these things about. Depends on a lot of factors.
Revolver Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 This would make sense if men were born players. Most "players" are so because of options and opportunities
mesmerized Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Huge player? Possible but I wouldn't risk it. Don't risk it. 1
Weezy1973 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 People grow and develop and some change and some don't. However, it is highly doubtful that it would have anything to do with meeting the "right" woman. It would be more about his personal values and beliefs developing over time.
MrCastle Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Depends what you mean by "player" Sometimes people use that term to describe men who just happen to be successful with women. They use "womanizer" for the same purpose. "Player" to me means, someone who has to lie and cheat to bed a certain amount of women. Someone with no moral compass who sees sex as some sort of game they must win, no matter how they have to do it. In the case of that definition, I'd say no. People like that usually don't change. Those are personality flaws that tend to stay with people. If we mean "player" as in, just a man who dates around and doesn't settle down, that's different. You can try to label them "commitment phobe" -- but not a player. This is simply a man who is successful without having to be phony, or lie/manipulate in order to be so. This man is waiting for someone special to come along. And when they do, he will settle down. 2
KatZee Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Sure, of course it's possible. But it's not going to be because YOU did something, it's going to be because he grew up and finally realizes he wants something more substantial. When that happens is anyone's guess. IF it happens at all.
hoping2heal Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 It may be possible for a percentage. But, you have to consider the type of person who would become a "player". Often times "player" types are not simply liars who juggle many women. Players can be manipulative, cunning, and use people to their advantage. This could be a way of life learned by their upbringing or a way of life they were awakened to on their own after coming to understand their own "power" over others. Also, there could be a player type who is unable to achieve or not interested in intimacy. Then you have the immature, selfish, and childish player who is only acting childish because of influence or opportunity not necessarily because he thrives on manipulation as a way of living or because he wishes to avoid intimacy. Still, all three of these player "types" objectify people so once someone sees others as objects instead of people the view may be more or less reversible.
lop98 Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 It often comes down to values, and once values are all out the window and life hasn't been so bad without them, it's unlikely people will suddenly find them back without hitting rock bottom. I don't think they can change... but I think it is easier for someone to break through the pattern of falling for conflicted minds ("players") and find better.
Lisa_Lisa Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 This explains a player to a tee: Men are like cabs, they can drive around for years picking up women and not be available (emotionally). When they're available their light goes on. They awake one day and decide their ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. Next woman they pickup, boom, that' the one they'll marry. It's not fate, it's dumb luck. It's all about timing. You gotta get em, when their light is on.
BradJacobs Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 This would make sense if men were born players. Most "players" are so because of options and opportunities And choices. And they can choose to give up all of the other options and opportunities for that great woman that walks into their life. But I'm not a player. Hate that label. You don't need to play games to get women.
Pyro Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 If a guy is known to be a huge player, is there ever any chance that he would one day want to settle down if he met the right woman? Or do players always stay players? Depends on your definition of player. Some guys will never take the time to get to know a woman to know if she is the right one.
hppr Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 If a guy is known to be a huge player, is there ever any chance that he would one day want to settle down if he met the right woman? Or do players always stay players? I don't see why not. However I can practically guarantee you if a guy is a 'huge player' every girl that has dated him has thought "oh, he will really love me way more than those other girls! he's so NICE!" lol. Which is how guys like that are able to 'play' women. edit: and for the record I've known guys who were 'players' that got married and they always went back to their old habits. One guy made it 10 years before he started screwing around, another only kept it together for 3 months.
ascendotum Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Depends what you mean by "player" Sometimes people use that term to describe men who just happen to be successful with women. They use "womanizer" for the same purpose. "Player" to me means, someone who has to lie and cheat to bed a certain amount of women. Someone with no moral compass who sees sex as some sort of game they must win, no matter how they have to do it. In the case of that definition, I'd say no. People like that usually don't change. Those are personality flaws that tend to stay with people. If we mean "player" as in, just a man who dates around and doesn't settle down, that's different. You can try to label them "commitment phobe" -- but not a player. This is simply a man who is successful without having to be phony, or lie/manipulate in order to be so. This man is waiting for someone special to come along. And when they do, he will settle down. I agree with this but just want to add that a really handsome man does not have to deceive these days and will do very well, but has no intention of ending up in a committed relationship for sometime. He is not necessarily a playa as above, but he is playing the field. For sure players settle down at some point or the marriage breaks up and they are back in business till their looks fade and they jump out of the game with a younger woman. It depends on what point in their life they are in when you come along and how much of a great catch you are to inspire them to move in with you. Many guys don't go on for years, they get their fill and are content and realize there other priorities in life (family/career/whatever their other passions are).
SammySammy Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 There are definitely some retired players out there. Everyone CAN change. The question is will they change. That depends on the guy you're talking to.
ddlovexx Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 My ex was apparently a huge "player" before he met me. We dated 11 months. His friends swore he was different with me and they'd never seen him be that way. I broke up with him because he started treating me terribly. Found out he'd be talking to multiple girls throughout our relationship, and the day I broke up with him he had a new girlfriend. Now realize, there was a point when he said he wanted to spend his life with me (as did I)... and look what happened. It's possible, but highly unlikely.
2.50 a gallon Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 From personal experience, yes we can change. But it probably won't happen until they are past age 30. For most of my life I was a confirmed pussy hound. Part player, and part womanizer. The world was full of beautiful women and I couldn't understand why I had to chose just one for the rest of my life At age 35 I did finally marry. I never cheated on her, she cheated on me so walked away. I swore that I would never allow myself to fall in love again. And went back into the dating scene for the next fourteen years. I met this long legged gal, the idea was we were to be FWB's, second date first kiss, and I was in love. Going home that night I realized how lonely I was. Eighteen years later, we are still in love, and cheating on her is out of the question. And it is not that I haven't had opportunities. .
DollWelch Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 If a guy is known to be a huge player, is there ever any chance that he would one day want to settle down if he met the right woman? 9 times out of 10, no.
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