theonlyjuan Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 This place has helped me so much. Thank you so much for all your comments and advice. Hopefully this helps someone I am not 100% over my ex, I still have personal issues and things I need to sort out. I am getting there though! It has been over a month since my break up Week 1 – A lot of crying, shock and denial! I couldn't believe what had happened. There were no warning signs of it coming. I didn't eat for days, didn't sleep properly. I dreamt about her a lot. Work was awful, didn't want to speak to anyone. Spoke to her a couple of times on FB Week 2 – Cried a couple of times. I was constantly searching for answers in my head. What if', why? Etc Really doubted myself. From my looks to my personality. Tried to accept it was over, but had some hope in the back of my mind. I think I spoke to her once or twice on FB. Week 3 – A little better. I started laughing with my friends again and felt a tad happier. After telling myself every day for 2 weeks that it was over, I think I was starting to accept it. Don't remember crying, I may have once. I watched a lot of TV and listened to a lot of music, which I had done from the first day. Did not speak to her for a week, I was planning on just going NC for a little while. I started working out again. Week 4 – 3 weeks to the day, I saw her at the place I work at. Had a very awkward hello and that was that. Was a little annoyed that she ruined my NC. I sent her a text apologizing for not being friendly. We text for a bit, she said I looked good and really healthy. This was huge for me! Not it hope of her coming back, it showed her that I was coping fine without her. I looked better than the whole time we were together. From this day I set out to improve myself even more. This wasn't just to prove something to her, it was for myself too. Met her the next day, so she could return something of mine. We had a nice chat which was about 1 ½ hours long. No feelings were brought up, which was good. I studied her while I was talking to her. This is where I learnt I was wearing love goggles the whole time. She is very pretty and a lovely girl, but I was blind to her imperfections ( We all have them ) I only noticed that day, how young she looks. Had a pretty good week, worked out hard and lost more weight. I did think about her still, but it wasn't so overwhelming. I listened to my music loud, I sang, I played guitar. Done things I loved to do before I met her. Week 5 ( This week ) Had the best week I have had so far. I worked out more and more and have become a little addicted to my self improvement. It is definitely a good distraction. Thought about her now and then every day, but managed to not dwell on the thoughts. I read someone's post on how our thoughts can be self inflicted. I chose to just ignore any further thoughts when she came into my mind. I acknowledged them but did not dwell. Here is my example This is what I used to think. “ I wonder what she is doing “ - “I wonder if she thinks of me “ - “ I wonder if she likes someone else already “- “ I wonder if she has a new boyfriend yet” - “ Why him and not me? “ - “ What's wrong with me? “ - “ I wish I was seeing her this evening “ It snowballs Now “ I wonder what she is doing “ …...... “ Stop it! Oh well “ Thinks of something else that isn't related to her. I took someone’s advice on fixating on another girl, even if I don't have a chance. I have done that now. I prefer to think about her than swell on my ex. That is my story, so far. I am not 100% there but a lot of my problems and issues I need to fix, do not involve her. 2
Echo000 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 so you have accepted that you are over for good? i learned thru my own experience that we only are capable of FULLY moving on once we realize it is truly over.
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