starlet86 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 So me and my ex are in NC with each other. He initiated it after I flipped out on him. He said he needed space and he wasn't going anywhere but I had p*ssed him off so he needed time. We didn't speak for days, then he text me telling me how much he misses oral sex from me and asks me if I want to meet up for some. I declined. I was actually shocked as hell that he done that. The next day he blanked me profusely and then later text me asking me to send him some pictures of myself (mainly my cleavage) because he misses having it in front of him. I ignore him and then he text me asking me if there was any chance of meeting up so he could get some oral from me. Seriously what is that all about!?!?!? 1
Minneloa Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 So me and my ex are in NC with each other. He initiated it after I flipped out on him. He said he needed space and he wasn't going anywhere but I had p*ssed him off so he needed time. We didn't speak for days, then he text me telling me how much he misses oral sex from me and asks me if I want to meet up for some. I declined. I was actually shocked as hell that he done that. The next day he blanked me profusely and then later text me asking me to send him some pictures of myself (mainly my cleavage) because he misses having it in front of him. I ignore him and then he text me asking me if there was any chance of meeting up so he could get some oral from me. Seriously what is that all about!?!?!? With all due respect, this is not NC. If you want these games to stop, stop responding to him, even to decline his ridiculous requests. Silence says volumes. 1
lessica Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Well, it certainly is disrespectful. He is seeing what he can get away with. And I would take a guess and say he is getting some kind of ego boost/kick, and feeling of control, or superiority from talking to you like that. Don't buy into it at all. Ignore him. He is obviously thinking of you. This to me seems like it is about way more than wanting a sexy picture or oral sex.
mano Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Dont know. How long have u been together? Me n m bf goin through the same. He said he needed space cux he is just hell angry at me etc. N then he keeps bothering for sex talk. Also asked for some nude pics cux he said he would really need em to feel better n miss me. N i sent em but he never responded well. N just too cranky these days. Doesnt feels like talkin. But when its about sex. He will be really interested. Been together for 4 years. Do know that he loves me. But what is all this ?
JDPT Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 He clearly is very desperate and needy. I contemplated the thought of contacting my ex as sex with her was amazing but didn't want to lose my dignity in the process and I believe I cherish my dignity more than having sex with her and potentially being rejected. Remain NC and remain strong he will eventually give up and look elsewhere.
Author starlet86 Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 I would like to work things out with him one day, I am not holding out hope and just before we started NC I told him I wasn't waiting around anymore for things to change because they obviously weren't going to. I just don't get how he can act like he hates me then asks me for stuff like that. I wont do it because then I am letting him use me and I've done that enough. I just don't get why he is asking for stuff like that from me if he doesn't want me!
Zahara Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 They don't have to want you to want sex from you. Dumpers tend to revisit the dumpee to see if they can get sex once the relationship is over. It's common. Plus, you were an ex so it's an easy prospect since you're still into him. He doesn't have to put in the effort of looking it for it elsewhere when the potential of it being available is right there.
lessica Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I might be wrong, but I get the feeling a lot of people's ex's know them well enough to know they are holding out for reconciliation. They can tell if you are putting on a front, and if you are bluffing, especially if your past behavior has been really accommodating to them. The only way to demand respect is through complete NC, otherwise they see right through your 'trying to be cold' texts. As soon as you reply to them they are in control. And they know it. It seems so ridiculous to me to use NC as a means for reconciliation, and if you are going to use it like that you really need to do it properly, for months- to establish dignity and give each other a breather. Anything else just seems like game playing to me? Thoughts?
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