Author NYC-BigKat Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 (edited) Nope its not 'cause I don't wanna have sex with her. I only want affection & its nothing wrong with it 'cause it makes lots of people happy & people here act like they want me to stay sad longer & I don't wanna. Edited July 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Quote redacted
PogoStick Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 If your cousin is hot then go for it! If she's ugly then it's taboo. 5
Author NYC-BigKat Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 What exactly do you mean by wanting affection? Um...just hugs kisses & cuddling & late night conversations. She's the only girl that I think wants to do this so far & I don't wanna lose out u know.
somedude81 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 It's taboo in some cultures and fine in others. Do what you want, but use protection. Probably best to keep what happens a secret from your family. 1
Eclypse Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I think you need to get out more dude. Surely there are enough non relative ladies out there for you. Although, I was a big family thing recently and my teenage cousin was dolled up to the max. My first thought was "wow she looks sexy" but I'd never even consider doing anything with her... How closely related are you? If it's only like the same great great grandmother then you're quite distant so it might be ok :| 1
SJC2008 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 If your cousin is hot then go for it! If she's ugly then it's taboo. Haha I literally lol'd!
SJC2008 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 First cousin marriage is leagal without stipulations in about 20 states in the US. Soo all the people telling you you need therapy can duck a suck! TBS it is taboo and I personally wouldn't date a cousin. I'd sleep with her though if NOBODY knew about it. I say that having no female cousins in my life so I don't know for sure if I could do it.
SJC2008 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Something is wrong with people on LS Yes there is. There aren't many people on this forum who know how to empathize and put theirselves in someone elses shoes. Is it taboo? Hell yeah it is. Does it mean he needs therapy? IMO not at all. SD81 was accused of focusing on sex too much in his thread and I think it's obvious why he does think about sex a lot and I think it's obvious why a man who has had no luck in dating would think of resorting to something like this. 1
SmileFace Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 (edited) Yes there is. There aren't many people on this forum who know how to empathize and put theirselves in someone elses shoes. Is it taboo? Hell yeah it is. Does it mean he needs therapy? IMO not at all. SD81 was accused of focusing on sex too much in his thread and I think it's obvious why he does think about sex a lot and I think it's obvious why a man who has had no luck in dating would think of resorting to something like this. Will my empathy make this any less desperate, sad and disgusting? Anyway I am done posting here Edited July 15, 2013 by SmileFace
SJC2008 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Will my empathy make this any less desperate, sad and disgusting? Anyway I am done posting here Not neccessarily but you wouldn't be so quick to judge if you tried to understand. It's not like he's one of the successful guys with options here saying he's crushing on his cousin.
Sugarkane Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 But seriously how would your family react? You could cause a huge rift/ isolate yourself from everyone else.
clia Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 What did your parents say when you told them you want to date your cousin? What did your real life friends say when you told them you want to date your cousin? It's pretty sad that you had to come to a discussion forum to ask whether it is appropriate to date your cousin. It isn't appropriate.
Arabella Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 The problem in Loveshack aren't people like the OP, but rather, judgmental individuals without ability to reason and empathize. So many of you say it's wrong.... but NOT ONE has said why. So, WHY is it wrong? You don't even know, do you? These aren't father/daughter or brother/sister we're talking about here. Sure, plenty of genetic concerns there. They're COUSINS. The only reasons why it's wrong is because you've been told it is and internalized it as a cultural value. In my country (Spain), it's a complete non-issue. My best friend's parents were 1st cousins. Two of my 1st cousins married as well. Nobody ever even raised an eyebrow about any of it. Mind you, this is in a country where all non-immigrants are Catholics. OP, do whatever the hell you want. Seriously. Spend time with your cousin and enjoy the non-sexual intimacy you crave. My only concern here is that it may be a little awkward when/if it ends... because you will still have to see each other. If you think you can handle that, then go right ahead and live your life. -A 6
jolie_baby Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 The problem in Loveshack aren't people like the OP, but rather, judgmental individuals without ability to reason and empathize. So many of you say it's wrong.... but NOT ONE has said why. So, WHY is it wrong? You don't even know, do you? These aren't father/daughter or brother/sister we're talking about here. Sure, plenty of genetic concerns there. They're COUSINS. The only reasons why it's wrong is because you've been told it is and internalized it as a cultural value. In my country (Spain), it's a complete non-issue. My best friend's parents were 1st cousins. Two of my 1st cousins married as well. Nobody ever even raised an eyebrow about any of it. Mind you, this is in a country where all non-immigrants are Catholics. OP, do whatever the hell you want. Seriously. Spend time with your cousin and enjoy the non-sexual intimacy you crave. My only concern here is that it may be a little awkward when/if it ends... because you will still have to see each other. If you think you can handle that, then go right ahead and live your life. -A that is my opinion, too
happywithlife Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Regardless if it is legal or not, OP you have a lot to concider. Mainly what will dating your cousin do to the family dynamics. Will your sibling/parents/etc disown you for this? Will this cause major rifts and fighting? You could vedy easily become the black sheep of the family. And is it worth the risk? Family is important. They are the ones driving you to the hospital, watching out for you, etc. and its not just immediate family. Its cousins, aunts, and uncles. Do you want to run the risk of having no one years down the line just for a bit of cuddle time now? I know your feelings may be strong. But sometimes its just better for everyone to do what is harder and forgo the fun. If you are having trouble meeting girls look for help. Do more online dating and meet ups. Consider speaking to a therapist if you really can't connect with girls or are too shy. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Its just a 3rd party person who might be able to give you sound advice.
ChessPieceFace Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Incest. Always a good decision. Everyone is at least 16th cousins... maybe 12th on average, and within similar race and ethnic groups maybe 9th or 8th or even lower for some. So... All a matter of degree. All sex is technically incest.
Author NYC-BigKat Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 Yes there is. There aren't many people on this forum who know how to empathize and put theirselves in someone elses shoes. Is it taboo? Hell yeah it is. Does it mean he needs therapy? IMO not at all. SD81 was accused of focusing on sex too much in his thread and I think it's obvious why he does think about sex a lot and I think it's obvious why a man who has had no luck in dating would think of resorting to something like this. Thanks so so much for your support . We spoke some more late last night & I told her how pretty & sexy she is & she laughed & told me what else & I really felt excited. Um...the good news is that she's coming right back to NYC in august so we can spend time together. We're splitting the airfare costs. I cant wait! I really feel so good. Will keep all posted . 1
KungFuJoe Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Sweet...you just better make sure you hit that before your obnoxious uncle does. Unless he already beat you to it... 5
Phantom888 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I'm assuming this is 1st cousin right? As in the parents are siblings? You should not do this because it's way too close in relation. Historically, 1st cousins often marry, and it was acceptable. But it's really not beneficial, genetically speaking. Try to avoid it. There are plenty of girls out there that you are not related to.
pteromom Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I know I won't change your mind, but it's a bad idea. And someone said "nobody is saying why"... here are some reasons: - fooling around leads to falling in love. While it might be acceptable for cousins to marry in other countries, it isn't here. So if it leads to love, then what? You are gonna rip your family apart. - if it doesn't lead to love, years down the road you will be coming to a family reunion with your wife and children, and have to decide if you tell your wife about how you hooked up with your cousin It's better just not to go there at all. I understand the temptation when someone you are attracted to shows interest. I understand loneliness. I understand all that. But part of maturity is to be able to see the consequences of your actions and act appropriately. Is it possible you could have sex with her once or twice, you guys go your separate ways, and there are no consequences? Maybe. But it's a big risk. 3
Adele0908 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Thanks so so much for your support . We spoke some more late last night & I told her how pretty & sexy she is & she laughed & told me what else & I really felt excited. Um...the good news is that she's coming right back to NYC in august so we can spend time together. We're splitting the airfare costs. I cant wait! I really feel so good. Will keep all posted . YUCK! You are taking advantage of the fact that she has a problem trusting men. You just want some easy sex. She is FAMILY. You should be looking out for her and protecting her, not sleeping with her! You have issues AND you are desperate. You must have really low self esteem.
johan Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Lust always prevails over reason. Lust pretty much vanishes after you get what you want though. And then I predict one or the other of you is going to want to run far away and never speak of what happened. 1
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