NYC-BigKat Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 We met last night for the 1st time at a get-together by my aunt's house in Brooklyn. Um..she came from down south & just turned 19 & I'm 24 & we really really clicked & she told me she has problems trusting guys but how she trusts me 'cause we're family & how cute & sweet I am & we hung out the whole night . One of my uncles came over & made a comment about us looking too cozy together but I said nothing & he laughed. Then I called my shady uncle since he wasn't invited & asked him what he thought about cousins fooling around without telling him about me & her & my uncle told me he messed with several cousins over the years & laughed like it was no big deal or something . Now I'm really really thinking about it 'cause I feel so attracted to her emotionally & stuff & we been texting all night after she went back home. Um...she was here for a few days before yesterday so she had to go back & now I cant stop thinking about her . Has anyone done it with their cousin or fooled around or wanted to? I kinda feel alone on this. My uncle don't really count since he'll mess around with any girl he likes. 1
SmileFace Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Stop posting. Find the nearest therapist. I know a good one in Park Slope I can refer you to. You are a grown man Smh I thinks CrackerJack saying you may be a bit socially inept was spot in. 18
Author NYC-BigKat Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 Stop posting. Find the nearest therapist. I know a good one in Park Slope I can refer you to. You are a grown man Smh I thinks CrackerJack saying you may be a bit socially inept was spot in. I made this thread to see what u guys think about cousins & cousins not to see therapists. I have a job & a college degree ok I don't need therapy .
SmileFace Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I made this thread to see what u guys think about cousins & cousins not to see therapists. I have a job & a college degree ok I don't need therapy . Yeah you actually may need more than therapy. Like super therapy. Wanting to hook up with a cousin and all. 9
steveT95 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 You are just lonely and confused. You need to get yourself out there and meet girls that are legal to be with. You have two options: Befriend her and develop a close family relationship and always have someone their for you. OR Screw her, develop a relationship that will not last and lose her forever. That's if she is interested. If she isn't and you try something you lose her straight away. 3
Lisa_Lisa Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 You're being judged too harshly. I don't think you need therapy, ok? But here are my two cents. You run the risk of being rejected by your cousin if you initiate an interest, in which case, it'll make family reunions awkward. Plus some of your family may even find out and you'll be judged. Next, if she is by chance interested and up for sex, like any relationship casual or serious, it'll get messy. One of you is going to catch feelings (imagine the gossip that your family will have to talk about). You can't marry each other or be in a serious relationship (family will takes sides either for or against and you will be seriously judged and/or shunned). If you break up with her or her with you, she or you will never speak to each other again (awkward, especially if family finds out). You'll always know about her life and what she's up to. Usually when you break up with someone you can decide NEVER to know about them ever again, but if she's your cousin you'll always know through your aunts or uncles or other cousins who she's seeing, dating, screwing, marrying, etc. (Imagine that, makes a break up hurt even more, doesn't it). 2
melodymatters Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 How distant a cousin ? Farther than a 3rd cousin you are barely related to begin with. 1
worldexploded Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 What kind of cousin? 1st? 2nd? Do you go out a lot are are you not that social? If you aren't that social I wouldn't resort to your cousin just because she's there. Plus the family WILL talk.
HokeyReligions Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I made this thread to see what u guys think about cousins & cousins not to see therapists. I have a job & a college degree ok I don't need therapy . This just proves the educational system sucks. Seriously do you think that just because you have a piece of paper shosing that a lot of money was spent and a pay stub showing you work means that you are smart or mentally stable? NO. You don't date relatives. And people think only the south is full of ignorant inbred people! LOL! 2
bubbaganoosh Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Man. I don't know if your old enough to remember the movie called Deliverance with Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty. Remember that banjo player in the movie? If not Google the banjo player in the movie and you'll see your potential off spring. Don't know what college you went to or what you got a degree in but maybe you should look up the word incest on the computer. Then you and Becky Sue can have a kid and call him Billy Joe Jim Ray Bob and find yourself a nice trailer in Appalachia. Dude. You got problems. 1
Author NYC-BigKat Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 You're being judged too harshly. I don't think you need therapy, ok? But here are my two cents. You run the risk of being rejected by your cousin if you initiate an interest, in which case, it'll make family reunions awkward. Plus some of your family may even find out and you'll be judged. Next, if she is by chance interested and up for sex, like any relationship casual or serious, it'll get messy. One of you is going to catch feelings (imagine the gossip that your family will have to talk about). You can't marry each other or be in a serious relationship (family will takes sides either for or against and you will be seriously judged and/or shunned). If you break up with her or her with you, she or you will never speak to each other again (awkward, especially if family finds out). You'll always know about her life and what she's up to. Usually when you break up with someone you can decide NEVER to know about them ever again, but if she's your cousin you'll always know through your aunts or uncles or other cousins who she's seeing, dating, screwing, marrying, etc. (Imagine that, makes a break up hurt even more, doesn't it). Um..I really agree with a bunch of stuff u tell me & all but I'm not trying to have sex with her u know. I just wanna cuddle & kiss her & spend time with her a lot that's all. I really wanna be close to a girl that likes me for me & not ignoring me like all these other girls I try to date or talk to . If my uncle did it with some of his cousins & no one said anything why cant I u know?
Lisa_Lisa Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Man. I don't know if your old enough to remember the movie called Deliverance with Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty. Remember that banjo player in the movie? If not Google the banjo player in the movie and you'll see your potential off spring. Don't know what college you went to or what you got a degree in but maybe you should look up the word incest on the computer. Then you and Becky Sue can have a kid and call him Billy Joe Jim Ray Bob and find yourself a nice trailer in Appalachia. Dude. You got problems. You're exaggerating. Do you know how many stories of incest rape that have been in the news over the years? Remember that father who kept his daughter in a basement for years? He made three children with her. The only reason a baby would have defects is if there is an error in DNA when forming...not because they are similar. Two perfectly NON RELATED adults have unhealthy kids a lot....unfortunately.
Lisa_Lisa Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Um..I really agree with a bunch of stuff u tell me & all but I'm not trying to have sex with her u know. I just wanna cuddle & kiss her & spend time with her a lot that's all. I really wanna be close to a girl that likes me for me & not ignoring me like all these other girls I try to date or talk to . If my uncle did it with some of his cousins & no one said anything why cant I u know? I don't think you're thinking this through. Once you start cuddling and kissing you're gonna want to stick your crank in there. And guess what? Kissing and spending time together is called....dating! There are plenty of women who will like you for who you are...just keep trying... 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 IMO, there's a huge difference between father/daughter or mother/son and cousins or siblings. As long as you're both of age and you don't have kids, you're not hurting anyone. With that being said, this still isn't a good idea. It's going to be impossible to keep it anonymous unless you don't have family gatherings. Not to mention the other relatives are going to be able to pick up on something. 3
jolie_baby Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Some people here are too harsh. In many countries around the world marrying your cousin is normal. Couples live happily and have healthy children. If this is not so normal in some societies it doesn't mean it is wrong. So it is not because she is your cousin that you should drop it, or that you need therapy as some harshly suggest. For that matter, some societies consider divorce a horrible act and someone leaving they husband/wife as having no morals (as marriage is sacred). While in many other societies divorce is acceptable and people leaving they SO for someone else are justified. So dont just drop the idea because she is your cousin. But what you may wish to consider is what if you break up, with family involved this is going to be very hard and complicated. The ordinary parts of a relationship could get more complicated just because she is family. good luck. 1
ChessPieceFace Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Might be fun, but people will probably find out, and then I think you'll be setting yourself up for some really awkward family reunions. Not worth it IMO. That said, supposedly everyone is at least 16th cousins... maybe 12th on average, and within similar race and ethnic groups maybe 9th or 8th or even lower for some. So...
Hermaeus Mora Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 just don't get her pregnant, and don't let anyone find out. Then it should all be okay. She likes you too, right? 2
Roadkill007 Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I made this thread to see what u guys think about cousins & cousins not to see therapists. I have a job & a college degree ok I don't need therapy . wow.... the social stigma of therapy too scary for you, huh? 3
FitChick Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 As we've seen on his many other threads, he doesn't quite have the skill to read others intentions and feelings, so I think he misinterpreted his cousin's normal friendliness. 2
HokeyReligions Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 IMO, there's a huge difference between father/daughter or mother/son and cousins or siblings. As long as you're both of age and you don't have kids, you're not hurting anyone. With that being said, this still isn't a good idea. It's going to be impossible to keep it anonymous unless you don't have family gatherings. Not to mention the other relatives are going to be able to pick up on something. If you have to keep it secret from family ITS WRONG! 1
Author NYC-BigKat Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 Some people here are too harsh. In many countries around the world marrying your cousin is normal. Couples live happily and have healthy children. If this is not so normal in some societies it doesn't mean it is wrong. So it is not because she is your cousin that you should drop it, or that you need therapy as some harshly suggest. For that matter, some societies consider divorce a horrible act and someone leaving they husband/wife as having no morals (as marriage is sacred). While in many other societies divorce is acceptable and people leaving they SO for someone else are justified. So dont just drop the idea because she is your cousin. But what you may wish to consider is what if you break up, with family involved this is going to be very hard and complicated. The ordinary parts of a relationship could get more complicated just because she is family. good luck. Um...don't really wanna date her I just wanna be close to her & have some benefits & stuff u know. Anyway we text again last night & I told her that I cant wait to see her again 'cause I feel really good around her & she says she feels the same way & its kinda weird & we both do lol together. I said to her if she wants to stay by me later this yr so I can spend some more time with her & she says yes but has to find out from her parents 1st. I feel so happy right now that my cousin is showing interest in me that I just don't care if she's related or not. it just feels good to finally have some girl affection for once after always feeling depressed over them .
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