lessica Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Were together for 7 years, until a week ago. Had lived together 6.5 of those years. No one had ever left. Things became progressively worse over the last few months. Ex was put on medication for depression, and previous alcohol/drug issues that were resurfacing. He has a great career, which he has no problem maintaining despite personal issues. I became quite miserable, had a lot of anxiety about alcohol being in the picture again, and him being out A LOT, usually he would be home most of the week (other than work). He was suddenly gone most evenings, and all weekend without returning home. New friends, and binge drinking, not cheating. After a while of trying with nothing in return I became bitter, cruel, and impatient. Telling him to leave constantly. He woke up one day, said he couldn't cope anymore, and by the next day he had secured a new rental, and left. Was back a week later to get his things. He was very emotional, and confused. He would stop between packing and ask whether or not he was doing the right thing..and cry. He kept kissing me and hugging me and saying he didn't want to hurt me. I am not sure if this was a sign it is not final, or just part of his finalizing process? There was not a bad word shared between us, we reassured each other that everything would be okay. And we need to look after ourselves. He left, since then I have been NC. I am not sure if he has tried or not. I am heartbroken.. going through the motions... struggling with no contact...but seeing the break up through, even though I would have hung in there myself, and wish it wasn't over. Thoughts? Advice? Sorry for the lengthy post!
Exitleft Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I can't offer much about your situation. I imagine if he got a rental he will be obligated to stay there for some time? so this might be a factor in the outcome. It's very hard to say when emotions are still raw but most importantly, you are seeing it through and allowing space for both of you to assess and heal which is the most important thing here. It does hurt like hell. But anyone who has a change of heart will make it clear. I hope things begin to look up, the first week is so hard. Best of luck. 1
Author lessica Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 I can't offer much about your situation. I imagine if he got a rental he will be obligated to stay there for some time? so this might be a factor in the outcome. It's very hard to say when emotions are still raw but most importantly, you are seeing it through and allowing space for both of you to assess and heal which is the most important thing here. It does hurt like hell. But anyone who has a change of heart will make it clear. I hope things begin to look up, the first week is so hard. Best of luck. Thanks exitleft. There is a two month obligation, he paid extra to rent with both short and long term option, so I guess it is hard to judge. Time will tell, and space is necessary, so yeah, no point worrying about that. This "But anyone who has a change of heart will make it clear." is very helpful, makes my procrastination a lot easier to resist! Thank you for posting and for the luck 1
Exitleft Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 You're welcome two months might be a perfect amount of time for you both to figure out what's next. 1
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