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How long did it take you to get over your ex-or how long have you been trying?

lessica

By lessica
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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smileyz Member

smileyz

Posted
Posted

I am at the end of the 3rd great love affair of my life..I'm 40, never married or had kids..

 

the first one was in college and when it ended, I dropped out of a great program and I was doing well..I took a few years off and rodeo bike across the country 3

times and started playing guitar and smoking pot.

 

the second one was 7 years later and we had moved across the country together and I thought we'd get married etc..I was madly in love once again...then it ended very painfully and I joined a band and started using heroin and went down a very bad road..it took me 8 years to get back to "normal"

 

3 years ago I met this woman and it was love at first sight for me..she lived in the building I just moved into..she has 3 kids and I'd see them every day and always stopped to talk to her..I started babysitting and hanging out..we hooked up and from the first kiss it was magical...we were the best lovers in the world..

things were complicated with the kids and fathers and other problems..it fell apart 7 weeks ago...I've been trying to get another chance for us...but I'm afraid it's over...

I'm also afraid of what comes next for me..I have been in therapy for the last 6 years so I have tools to cope and I won't be turning to drugs this time..but oh, this feeling I know too well and I don't like it...

so how long does it take? I think we never get over certain people or affairs or moments..would I want to go all eternal sunshine on my brain? no way..

 

I've never even gotten myself back to finish my degree

bdizzle Member

bdizzle

Posted
Posted (edited)
1.4 year relationship of many break ups. Ended by her 6 weeks ago. NC since. First two weeks sucked. No appetite, depression, sadness, poor sleep. Then I got mad and said screw this. Started dating and have dated two of the girls for a few weeks now. I'm making some mistakes by dragging old concerns/issues/feelings from the ex into the new dates but I realize it is to be expected and am making adjustments to not make the same mistakes.

 

At 6 wks NC, I feel ok. Sleeping good, eatting good, exercising. Realizing it was the right decision as she was just a mean bitch the last few months. Still miss her children and our "family time" we spent together on the evenings. I don't miss her though and am proud of what a great boyfriend I was to her failure..

 

Any chance her name would be Natalie?

Edited by bdizzle
JDPT Established Member

JDPT

Posted
Posted
I am at the end of the 3rd great love affair of my life..I'm 40, never married or had kids..

 

the first one was in college and when it ended, I dropped out of a great program and I was doing well..I took a few years off and rodeo bike across the country 3

times and started playing guitar and smoking pot.

 

the second one was 7 years later and we had moved across the country together and I thought we'd get married etc..I was madly in love once again...then it ended very painfully and I joined a band and started using heroin and went down a very bad road..it took me 8 years to get back to "normal"

 

3 years ago I met this woman and it was love at first sight for me..she lived in the building I just moved into..she has 3 kids and I'd see them every day and always stopped to talk to her..I started babysitting and hanging out..we hooked up and from the first kiss it was magical...we were the best lovers in the world..

things were complicated with the kids and fathers and other problems..it fell apart 7 weeks ago...I've been trying to get another chance for us...but I'm afraid it's over...

I'm also afraid of what comes next for me..I have been in therapy for the last 6 years so I have tools to cope and I won't be turning to drugs this time..but oh, this feeling I know too well and I don't like it...

so how long does it take? I think we never get over certain people or affairs or moments..would I want to go all eternal sunshine on my brain? no way..

 

I've never even gotten myself back to finish my degree

 

I'm glad to hear that you are dealing with this breakup differently as opposed to numbing the pain away with drugs. It's the exact same approach I'm taking this time around. When she left me the first time I turned to alcohol and oh I was drinking more than a fish in water and engaging in wreckless activities to ease the pain but this second time that she broke up with me with the help of qualified Profesional help I believe I'm making positive progress and wiser decisions.

  • Like 2
robaday Established Member

robaday

Posted
Posted

What does being over someone mean? like you can be over a relationship but not over a person......not want them back but still get a little shock if you see them or whatever?

 

Guess it took 6 months to get to the stage of not wanting my ex back, not wanting revenge or whatever over 3 year relationship. Its been a year now and I can safely safe that I dont want to hear from her ever again, Im not attracted to her and dont really "feel" anything toward her.

 

Having said all that though I havent found anyone else, dated a few people. So in that respect I havent "moved on" as such, just would certainly never "move back";)

 

Other exes in my life I still have affection for, am still attracted to and still probably love to a degree. This one though, not at all which surprises me, but guess things got so bad Im happy Im outta it

  • Like 1
all_cats_rgray Established Member

all_cats_rgray

Posted
Posted

My relationship was seven years. It's been a year. Tell you the truth, the love has been replaced with hate. Everyone tell's me. How long you where together cut that in half. That how long it will take. So you have been together 7 year, you will feel better in 3 and a half years.

 

I believe this statement very strongly. Don't rush yourself.

hippetyhop Established Member

hippetyhop

Posted
Posted

I only had 10 months invested, but I still miss him like crazy. We are NC now on my terms. He goes on vaca next week-so knowing he won't be able to contact me during vaca and the week before, I figured by then I'll be better.

daftpunk Established Member

daftpunk

Posted
Posted

I was with her for 3 years.

 

I am the dumpee.

 

I sincerely doubt I'll ever be "over" her, or that she'll ever be "over" me. But I've had no choice but to accept things for what they are for now.

blondie 12345 Member

blondie 12345

Posted
Posted

hi

I was with my ex for 8 years and have a 7 year old son together we split up wen my son was 2 years old he dumped me for another women it was the worst time of my life never been threw anything so painfull in my life it took me 3 years to get over it we have now been split up for 5 going on 6 years and I am now the happiest I have ever been and am so glad this women took him off me which you might think strange lol.

ive been with my current partner 2-3 years and this is the best relationship ive ever had.

now I think why was I so upset for 3 years crying over this loser lol.

ive never done no contact as I had to see him and his girlfriend together every week to pick our son up.

my ex now has 3 children with her and I couldn't be happier for them :)

sometimes good things come out of situations like this xx

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