ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 (edited) I have been seeing this guy for the last 2 months. We had agreed to exclusively date 1 month in as well. All good there! Till one day I logged into the Dating website we met on. Saw he had been online the last 24 hrs. I logged on because I was thinking about deleting my profile and looked at his one out of curiosity plus to see if he still had his up. Sent him a text about it. He could understand why I was upset but did not want to deal with this drama that I was supposedly creating after a long day of work and if there was no trust it was not going anywhere. His explanation for going online was that he was just deleting emails while bored at work. I explained that I did trust him and that I was not causing drama. I just wanted to see if we were on the same page that was all. Mentioned it was just a misunderstanding and agreed that trust was very important in a relationship. It seemed like to me after my response this did get sorted cause he went on to say all good then went on about the weekend and was normal again. It has been 2 weeks since then and I have barely seen him. He still sends me texts asking me how I am but never asks me out anymore I have noticed. He explained without me asking that he has been staying in watching sport (it is crazy sports season in Australia) and his days have been filled with work and late nights because of this. He knew I was moving this weekend and sent me a text about it on the Friday. I had invited him around tonight. He made more excuses at first saying he was watching the cricket. I said you can come watch the cricket at my place? At first he said it was a good idea then said it might be an important game but. Then I said no worries I will just finalise my packing all good. I had finished packing early so I was like. Ended up finishing packing early you can come watch the cricket at my place. A bit later he replied with finished a bike ride, feeling sore, can barely get off the couch thanks for the invite though. He seemed light hearted in his texts and joked about his bad state after the bike ride. This is just the shortened version of the text but it still felt like he was avoiding seeing me. By now 2 weeks had gone. Had barely seen him at all. It just feels like to me he has lost interest? Why still text me if he has? Never once during the last 2 weeks had he asked me out. He says he never lies and I have never pressured him to hang out with me. Just confused that's all. Edited July 13, 2013 by ziggue
soccerrprp Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Unfortunately, you may now have more revealing evidence to why he was visiting the OLD site. Have you checked it since the talk? It sounds like he's lost or losing interest in you and is doing a slow fade out. Soon, communication will be minimal to non-existent. He's probably keeping communications open to keep you interested enough to stick around until he's ready to hook-up with you if nothing better comes along. Of course people will say that they "never" lie. Who would admit to being a liar? I hope it works out, but it does sound like the beginning of the end....sorry. 3
Author ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 (edited) Yep. That is exactly what I have been thinking and I don't want to be messed around like that. After the last text he sent me I just ignored it then deleted his number off my phone. Did not want to say anything I will regret later on. I am pretty sure he will still text me but I will just ignore them. Better then that. Sigh. Really did like him! But yeah no way do I want to be a back up or just an option in case nothing better comes along. Hell no. When I confronted him about online dating before was that even a bad move? Cause it felt like I had screwed up a bit after that! Prob a good thing I did. Least his true colours are starting to come out now. When I did not respond to his last text hopefully that shows him I am not waiting around for him anymore. I have never nagged him to do anything and did not text him at all for a week till he sent a text first. Not like that. That is when I started to notice something was up. Edited July 13, 2013 by ziggue
KatZee Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 You didn't screw up by calling him out. That's exactly what you should have done. Men don't like doormats. And no one on this planet is "too busy" watching sports to see you at least once a week. A guy who's interested and REALLY interested in a girl is going to make the effort to see her, and not give really lame excuses. A guy who's keeping his foot in the door, but who's not seeing you is a guy who has a rotation of girls he's currently dating. I'd bet you he is and has been seeing other girls within these 2 weeks. The thing I don't like here is the fact he agreed to be exclusive and then completely ghosted on you. He's just tossing you breadcrumbs to hold you over until it's your time on the rotation list. So scummy. Good for you that you deleted his number. 1
Author ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 Very glad I deleted the number after his last text! Backing off now will show him I don't deal with that ****. If he texts again just ignore them?
KatZee Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Very glad I deleted the number after his last text! Backing off now will show him I don't deal with that ****. If he texts again just ignore them? Yeah, just ignore it for now. Or you can just send him a message saying you don't feel the relationship is working out anymore.
jolie_baby Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 yes just drop it whether he texts or not. if he cares, even if you didnt text back, he will find a way to see and talk to you. so for you its over now. and yes, do not let him later on guilt you into feeling you ruined this. you know what, if even he tries that, it just means he does not know what wrong he did and even do not regret it. just leave it. there are so many good men out there.
Author ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 I think ignoring him will be the better option. LoL. After the way he has treated me. I will watch out for that Jolie. Thanks for the tip! Well there are no good men where I am. I always seem to find the duds.
Author ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 Just can't believe he would agree to be exclusive, guilt me and make me trust him and then act like this. What a douche!
soccerrprp Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Just can't believe he would agree to be exclusive, guilt me and make me trust him and then act like this. What a douche! SIGH. Yup.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 OP, I am curious. Do you really like this guy? Do you feel a strong chemistry/connection? Or were you just giving it a go and seeing where it goes..
todreaminblue Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 what do you mean by crazy sports season in australia?.....deb 1
Author ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 I do really like him. I felt the chemistry between he and I as well. He agreed to date exclusively with me also. Shrugs. But you would think a guy would want to see you more after that. Hence my confusion. Apparently Cricket, Tennis, Cycling, State of Origin and NRL & AFL Football are all on around this time of year in Australia. I don't watch sports but he does. Apparently a lot. Just see on the news about it that's all. I don't know. Don't know what to believe with men anymore these days.
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 The writing was on the wall in your previous thread but you didn't want to believe it because i guess you like him. If he liked you back he'd want to spend time with you. He'd find the time and he'd make the effort. Seriously, don't even bother explaining yourself to him.
sdraw108 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 A guy who places higher importance on watching a sport event on TV than seeing his girlfriend, is either disinterested, or is a loser. Either way, you don't want to be dating him!
Author ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 (edited) Well can't explain myself now. I deleted his number the minute I got that last text from him. Not unless he texts me again. If anything he should be the one explaining himself to me. He should have never agreed to exclusively date me if he was gonna behave like this. Honestly over this **** with guys. Thank god I have learnt from the past and will just have to let this go now. Sigh. There is probably a lot of guys like this on Online Dating websites especially the free ones. I bet it can be addictive for the guy cause there are so many options on there. This is the first guy I have gone out with on there since getting back into online dating. Have not done it in 3 years. It's a little disheartening cause did actually like the guy. Least I know when to pick up on this behaviour now and ditch them first before they ditch me if they get like this. My sister reckons I should try eHarmony next. Good call sdraw. God no. I mean I even offered for him to watch sport at my place with me and he still came up with excuses not to come. Sigh... So glad I drew the line with him last night. Edited July 13, 2013 by ziggue
sweetheart5381 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I feel for you OP. There are alot of douches out there and OLD is a minefield. If a man doesn't make an effort, then you shouldn't make one either. Some guys screw up occasionally and make it up to you. This guy doesn't even seem to notice that you are doubting his intentions. I'd say let it go and move on. There are better out there that want to spend time with you and not leave you hanging.
RonaldS Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I had no idea there was such a thing as an important cricket game. 1
Author ziggue Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 (edited) No he does not sweetheart and that is how I feel I should play it. He does not deserve any better! So just ignoring him and moving on. Feel so mean saying that! But over all the BS. Either did I with cricket. Roll eyes. I even tried impressing him with stuff about what I saw on the news about the cricket. He barely batted an eye lid over it and completely ignored my effort mention it. Yeah after agreeing to exclusively date and only having sex once in the space of 2 weeks and he not mentioning to hang at all. Just the odd text here and there. I was not gonna be fooled by that ****. Surprised he even sent a text asking me about my move when I moved this weekend. Edited July 13, 2013 by ziggue
sweetheart5381 Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 No he does not sweetheart and that is how I feel I should play it. He does not deserve any better! So just ignoring him and moving on. Feel so mean saying that! But over all the BS. Either did I with cricket. Roll eyes. I even tried impressing him with stuff about what I saw on the news about the cricket. He barely batted an eye lid over it and completely ignored my effort mention it. Yeah after agreeing to exclusively date and only having sex once in the space of 2 weeks and he not mentioning to hang at all. Just the odd text here and there. I was not gonna be fooled by that ****. Surprised he even sent a text asking me about my move when I moved this weekend. Ya, don't respond, see if he notices. Ball's always in your court
curlygirl40 Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Yeah after agreeing to exclusively date and only having sex once in the space of 2 weeks and he not mentioning to hang at all. Just the odd text here and there. I was not gonna be fooled by that ****. Who brought up dating exclusively? Him or you? If you brought it up, maybe it wasn't what he wanted anyway and just agreed to it but didn't really want it? Definitely ignore though. And forget about things like 'he texted to see about my move'.. He's keeping you on a string, seeing if his foot is still in the door. Remember, the only one who gets hurt in a fishing expedition is the fish. 1
Author ziggue Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 (edited) I brought it up. I did not wanna be sleeping with him if he was seeing other people. The week I noticed him pull back was after I called him out on going online after that. I tested him the second week by not making plans with him. Made plans with him twice the week before and he happily went along with those. But did not want to do it all the time or otherwise he would have just taken me for granted. The second week I decided to see if he would make plans with me and he never did. I was not gonna initiate anything else with him. Those 2 times were the only times I had. Thought it was fine cause we were exclusively dating but do not want to force anything as well. He never hesitated at all when he agreed to be exclusive but actions speak louder then words. Got the hint loud and clear. When we were talking about exclusivity did mention for him to be open and honest with me about things. Shrugs. Now not sure what to think. Will be ignoring his texts from now on but. Why agree to something you don't want and man up and tell me it's over? Least this time I am the one that gets to dump someone. Not waiting around to get dumped myself. Edited July 14, 2013 by ziggue 1
curlygirl40 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I think if you could go back and read what you wrote and not be emotionally invested you will realize part of the problem. You asked for exclusivity, you were making plans, you were initiating texts. I know not all the time but still. At some point you need to stop rowing and see if the boat still moves. You stopped rowing and the boat did not move. That's all you need to know. If he wanted to be exclusive with you, he wouldn't have had his profile online. That speaks volumes to me. And he didn't back away just because you called him on it. That was probably his plan anyway, that's why he was online. Move along. Best of luck
crude Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Yeah after agreeing to exclusively date and only having sex once in the space of 2 weeks and he not mentioning to hang at all. It's best to just make a clean break and move on. ps this is another example of a man who could have sex all the time with a woman, but he passes on it. Men obviously aren't only after one thing.
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