Emerality Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I've made a soul purpose to make an account here to share my story in wish for a resolve, guidance or suggestion. I am a 20 year old male, doesn't really have much to offer but when I do I make sure it happens. I met a women a year and six months back, who was interesting sure many of you might look down on me for possibly being young and calling it "puppy love" but till this moment despite the bad things I still have feelings. Well any ways, I've met her through a gaming site but ill cut a lot of details short, it started off we didn't like each other at first due to personality or what we see is what we get but when I wasn't around she felt a bit off, at the time I worked crazy hours, we both talked to each other in depth and turns out we had a lot in common. Weeks past and the question came out of dating. I thought it wasn't going to last but it ended 2 months ago for reasons ill reveal. She has an amazing personality but the one thing that bothers me so much, is her "flirting" with all her male friends (she's a bit of a Tom boy due fact she feels better around males than females) Our relationship went to a curve when I, wanting to get there (she's in the west coast while I, the east) turned to have a bit of a timer on her part. She gave me this ultimatum, get there before December or I'm pretty much just another guy wasting her time. I failed to provide this 3 times due fact that I have no job and way of getting money really. She became broken because I failed and she wasn't the same as before of course so... I failed. Months past and we still spoken but we weren't together nor we both weren't in any relationship. I knew she had financial issues because she doesn't have a job nor her mother due to being layed off, and rough economy in the west. And I payed for her bills Once before because I had money from when I use to work before using all my money to go to a school. I went to school actually when I was with her, we played these games online and I had little as 3 hours of sleep every day to spend time with her on that. It all seemed that I did much more than she can despite the fact that she sent food over twice with their food stamps, they insisted on givin me some food since I looked skinny. But continuing on, she came up with a different ultimatum, if I pay the bills 3 months in a row she will come back to me as a promise. When I was paying the first month she was seeing someone else, trying to hide it from me but I knew and tried to be a nice guy and pay without being jealous.. But turned out she became vile and yelled at me for all the issues she had and brings up me Failing to put effort to get there. I felt hurt and her reply was "now you know the pain I felt for waiting on you and you didn't show 3 times". I payed the first month, she also threw in another promise to web cam with me again but she lied on that, possibly so I can be a sucker and pay the bills to simply see her. 2nd month was about to come up, she promised if I payed it she would consider it all a clean slate, me not getting there. I payed that as well... She lied on that and still was talking to the other person. Every time I asked how could she do these things, she chuckles and says "it's only flirting, I'm here and no ones with me So it can't hurt if I'm not physically doing it. It's only over the Internet so stop being jealous". I got mad.. Didn't pay the 3rd. Forgot to throw in that her mother really likes me too and considers me a reliable boyfriend and she praises me more than my girlfriend, well ex now. The daughter got mad at me, I saved their lives for 2 months for them to not sleep with men for money. Added note, the mother pretty much prostitutes herself to pay bills while the daughter does nothing but tells at her, and plays games. I love her still because she saved me from pretty much killing myself, I thought I wasn't all important and she is really nice to people she cares and knows.. But has such a bad habit of being a slut/tease, flirting with all these guys for the purpose of "I love the feeling of being loved". She went out with her best friend, for only 3 weeks, she went out with him because she felt lonely and she loves his family. She cheated on him pretty much with me, only talking on phone and her calling me babe and such. She never liked him and dumped him. Two guys after I left so far... Now she's onto a 3rd, and I'm pretty much left alone, ignored, hurt, crying sometimes to sleep. But she calls me usually about 6 am.. For only 10-30 minutes before she hangs up.. So I ask, what should I do. She says she'll take me back if I get there. And she'd stop all of this. And also states that till then we won't be together. I lost a job, paying my financial aid due to this and she points the finger back at me for being my fault. Completely my fault. 1.6 years
Carenth Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Sorry to hear about your situation. Having someone put a ultimatum on you is really not fair. Especially the way she did it. I would of walked at that point. Whats worse after that is she basically was trying to sell you a "relationship" saying if you pay her bills for 3 months she will get back together with you. That isn't love that is messed up. It's not your fault that you couldn't meet her unrealistic expectations. However you need to stay away from her and not let her use you anymore. I hate to even ask but it doesn't sound like you have ever met her in person yet... why the hell are you giving her money? You actually know nothing about what she is like as a person until you actually meet her in flesh and blood. Do not even think about going over there. Things will not change they will be worse, you deserve a lot better than this. Please do not pay people in future to try and buy a relationship, you will just end up bitter, angry, used and abused. Relationships do not work like that. A relationship should be built on mutual respect and working together. She doesn't respect you or love you. Someone who loved you wouldn't treat you like she has. Nothing else you can really do at this point other than learn from this experience and know what not to do next time. I wouldn't recommend engaging in LDR if neither of you have the means to close the gap (not just you but anyone in similar circumstances imo). Being realistic relocating costs money (and that is only one hurdle of many). If neither of you have jobs and your prospects for getting jobs does not look good the "relationship" will never go anywhere.
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