bluegreen Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 It is remarkably true what they say about Tiger not changing its spots. Have you noticed that after a while all flaws our recent or long time EX had had re surfaced again? Drug users Alcoholics Sex Addicts Cheaters or Abusers and Players will never change. Pity the current new people in their life will have to face the shock of it when "honeymoon" faze is over and real them come out in light. So have you witnessed the same how did it made you feel ?
for666 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 well my ex's the cheater ex made me feel angry!! was easy to pass that break up and from what i hear she cheated more and more but now she is in stable relationship and don't cheat ( but i think it's a matter of time or no body know's) the ex that clingy/needy actually improved allot after me breaking up she changed for good from what i hear she is much easier going not moody not depended and well actually very stable (she took the time to be alone and improve her self WHAT A SHOCK BUT yeah nice! i guess telling the reason for break up was good idea ^^) the last Ex (fresh wounds) broke up with me for no reason i did noting wrong but now i see how immature she is and very young she have allot to learn about love and what she really want's and to become MORE open person and to have more friends (except only one she talks to about emotions) don't know if she changed but i don't think so she get allot of attention but cant handle what to do ( still very close and she just really don't know wtf she want's or even if she want a relationship) (from what i hear she started to fall in love with 2 guys at one's) so i guess here it's only matter of time to GROW UP ^^ for now she is still in growing faze well i hope it give's you some perspective but i have to ask you WHY DO you ask??
SweetiePie12 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 It is remarkably true what they say about Tiger not changing its spots. Have you noticed that after a while all flaws our recent or long time EX had had re surfaced again? Yes, I'd forgotten how patient I have to be with him (which he recently thanked me for as well as my understanding). Patient in terms of spending time with him. His career is tremendously demanding & he's so brave for his creative undertakings. So once again, I can either take it (yes!) or leave it (nope!).
lessica Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I have noticed that if you have been with someone long enough you can be pretty sure that the traits you noticed are long standing ones. In my case, my most recent relationship was 7 years, and I know if they met their one true soul mate (if that fantasy exists), it would still be very difficult due to his troubles. Does this comfort me for if/when he moves on, I am ashamed to say it does. My previous relationships were only 3, and lasted about a year each. Boyfriend no.1 though we were both very young, he was a sweet simple guy, dumped me, I cared a lot, for about a week . He accordingly was a very sweet simple give any time I spoke to him after, and is now happily engaged to a sweet simple girl lol. Boyfriend no.2 I fell madly in love with, lived with straight off the bat, was a charmer, but played a lot of games-emotional manipulation I would say. Very popular with the ladies. He broke my heart, moved out one day because he was unsure. I was devastated for longer than the relationship lasted. I looked for partners similar following him. Anyway, he settled with a girl for about 6 years, continued to play his games, she is now recently married and happier than ever, he is alone and continues to manipulate women. I was surprised that they lasted so long, but merely snigger at the fact he didn't change one bit in the end. Still crush on him though haha. 3rd boyfriend: very much a rebound. Cheated on me. I broke up with him. He met a girl, they had a child, he cheated again. She broke up with him. In retrospect I feel quite lucky I had no real feelings for him or it would have damaged me. In my opinion people who hurt others do it for a reason they are unaware of. Even those who blatantly are proud to be 'players' do it because it feeds some personal insecurity, or fills some void. Alcoholics/drug addicts, well this is my most recent relationship, and that is why I know he wouldn't be a different person even if he met his 'soulmate', and it could only change with a lot of work and over a lot of time. I think it would be safe to make conclusions when the person is a lot older. I mean my ex is 27, but I think he would have improved/altered by the time he is 47, for the mean time it would just be the same. In the short term, I am sure we can safely say our recent long term ex's are easy to predict.
thefooloftheyear Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Mine looks like she put on 45 pounds. I dodged a bullet, perhaps?? TFY
lessica Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Mine looks like she put on 45 pounds. I dodged a bullet, perhaps?? TFY Perhaps she just turned into an excellent chef? 1
thefooloftheyear Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Perhaps she just turned into an excellent chef? nah,,she was a nutcase, but she was a hell of a cook... I just think she settled into a more relaxed way of life..I keep very fit and it might have been too much pressure on her to stay fit as well..I never complained or forced my lifestyle on her..Her new bf is morbidly obese...Anyway, it matters nothing at this point..I wish her well, but I couldnt care less if she becomes fat as a house..Not my problem anymore.. TFY 1
amaysngrace Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Tigers have stripes...leopards have spots...and my exH still has a little dick... 9
lessica Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 nah,,she was a nutcase, but she was a hell of a cook... I just think she settled into a more relaxed way of life..I keep very fit and it might have been too much pressure on her to stay fit as well..I never complained or forced my lifestyle on her..Her new bf is morbidly obese...Anyway, it matters nothing at this point..I wish her well, but I couldnt care less if she becomes fat as a house..Not my problem anymore.. TFY Good for you! You can't go wrong if you keep your personal standards high. It is totally what prevents that 'empty' feeling in the future. Self respect is best. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Tigers have stripes...leopards have spots...and my exH still has a little dick... Nice..... TFY 1
coltsfan1 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Tigers have stripes...leopards have spots...and my exH still has a little dick... Wow!!! That's harsh but funny. 1
Author bluegreen Posted July 14, 2013 Author Posted July 14, 2013 Tigers have stripes...leopards have spots...and my exH still has a little dick... Get off grace this is strictly "saying" and old proverb as they call it well my condolences to your ex 1
Roflsaurus Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I changed. I am in no way the person I once was. You could be looking for these things.
aloneinaz Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 6 weeks post break up, I'm quite convinced that my ex has a personality disorder of some kind. She hid it quite well for the first 8-9 months though at times she'd let some of it slip out (grudge holding, vindictiveness, lying, etc). The last 5 months of our off/on toxic relationship, this woman was rarely who I feel in love with. the first 8-9 months, she was awesome 90-95% of the time. The last 5 months, maybe 40-45% of the time. She struggled with relationships of all types I discovered too late. No real close friends, shaky relationship with her family, etc. Looking back, there were red flags during the first few months that I ignored. I won't be doing that anymore. As someone said on this site, she's not MY problem anymore.
Author bluegreen Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 Yes its amazing how long people can hide this stuff
lessica Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 6 weeks post break up, I'm quite convinced that my ex has a personality disorder of some kind. She hid it quite well for the first 8-9 months though at times she'd let some of it slip out (grudge holding, vindictiveness, lying, etc). The last 5 months of our off/on toxic relationship, this woman was rarely who I feel in love with. the first 8-9 months, she was awesome 90-95% of the time. The last 5 months, maybe 40-45% of the time. She struggled with relationships of all types I discovered too late. No real close friends, shaky relationship with her family, etc. Looking back, there were red flags during the first few months that I ignored. I won't be doing that anymore. As someone said on this site, she's not MY problem anymore. Love blinds the crap out of us. My ex had diagnosed bipolar, which he hid from his family. There was no one in his life that knew what the truth was other than me. He had ZERO friends, but went through many. Would go through stages of complete isolation from me, and even manage to keep his reality a secret while living together. I was always wondering what was going on, always. It is insane that I am so hurt now, it was always inevitable that he would leave. Strange the way we hold on to things, and the denial we live in with these people.
Author bluegreen Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 Love blinds the crap out of us. My ex had diagnosed bipolar, which he hid from his family. There was no one in his life that knew what the truth was other than me. He had ZERO friends, but went through many. Would go through stages of complete isolation from me, and even manage to keep his reality a secret while living together. I was always wondering what was going on, always. It is insane that I am so hurt now, it was always inevitable that he would leave. Strange the way we hold on to things, and the denial we live in with these people. Yeah there are red flags but once deeply in circle its hard to see them until something drastic happens to change that 1
aloneinaz Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Love blinds the crap out of us. My ex had diagnosed bipolar, which he hid from his family. There was no one in his life that knew what the truth was other than me. He had ZERO friends, but went through many. Would go through stages of complete isolation from me, and even manage to keep his reality a secret while living together. I was always wondering what was going on, always. It is insane that I am so hurt now, it was always inevitable that he would leave. Strange the way we hold on to things, and the denial we live in with these people. I know what you mean. My friends were shocked that I kept getting back together w/her. My mother was FURIOUS and kept telling me she had major issues. Her behavior was so all over the place. In the am she'd send me the most loving emails then get pissed off and be a total bitch over something trivial that night. Very emotionally un-stable. OMG, if she was stressed or in a bad mood or overwhelmed, heaven help anyone around. She be a snapping, moody, angry jerk. You had to walk on egg shells around her. I'm still asking myself why I didn't dump her first. I'd spent the evening at her house and come home asking myself why I continued to put up with her abuse. You like me should be glad we got out with our sanity. Short term break up pain is much better than long term misery. I truly feel sad for people with behavioral issues. They can't help it but could seek therapy to help them better exist with others. My ex always said "I know I'm not an easy person to get along with"..She knew she had a bucket load of issues but didn't work to address them. It's easier to blame the person you're with vs. looking internal and recognizing you're not happy with yourself.. 2
Author bluegreen Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 Good thing you were not married or had kids with her
aloneinaz Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Good thing you were not married or had kids with her No ****. I actually feel sorry for her ex-husband. He's a good guy and is stuck dealing with her BS for another 10 years due to the kids.. Luckily, he's a laid back guy and clearly knows her issues.
Author bluegreen Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 Or rest of his life I learned that once blood or contract ties you up to someone there is no getting out of it all in all poor guy and pity 4 the kids : (
happydate Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 No ****. I actually feel sorry for her ex-husband. He's a good guy and is stuck dealing with her BS for another 10 years due to the kids.. Luckily, he's a laid back guy and clearly knows her issues. I once dated a girl like that. Thankfully, she dumped me!!
lessica Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I know what you mean. My friends were shocked that I kept getting back together w/her. My mother was FURIOUS and kept telling me she had major issues. Her behavior was so all over the place. In the am she'd send me the most loving emails then get pissed off and be a total bitch over something trivial that night. Very emotionally un-stable. OMG, if she was stressed or in a bad mood or overwhelmed, heaven help anyone around. She be a snapping, moody, angry jerk. You had to walk on egg shells around her. I'm still asking myself why I didn't dump her first. I'd spent the evening at her house and come home asking myself why I continued to put up with her abuse. You like me should be glad we got out with our sanity. Short term break up pain is much better than long term misery. I truly feel sad for people with behavioral issues. They can't help it but could seek therapy to help them better exist with others. My ex always said "I know I'm not an easy person to get along with"..She knew she had a bucket load of issues but didn't work to address them. It's easier to blame the person you're with vs. looking internal and recognizing you're not happy with yourself.. Exactly. And I still can't understand why I put up with it all. Am a bit annoyed that he will never look internally, but oh well. It is a waste of time thinking about it. And yeah, I would rather be alone forever than go through the constant anxiety that comes with being with a person that has no control/composure.
aloneinaz Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Exactly. And I still can't understand why I put up with it all. Am a bit annoyed that he will never look internally, but oh well. It is a waste of time thinking about it. And yeah, I would rather be alone forever than go through the constant anxiety that comes with being with a person that has no control/composure. You won't be alone forever. I'm at 6 weeks NC since the end. I've been dating for 3 weeks. I've really liked a couple of them though one showed some issues and was kicked to the curb and the other I'm still dating. It's a reminder that there's plenty of fish in the sea and we should NEVER settle for a toxic relationship. 2
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