Tresx9386 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 (edited) Hello everyone! Hope everyone is well. So, I would like to share my experience of my most recent break-up with my ex-gf. My ex-gf and I were together for 2 1/2 years, lived together for a year. We went through tough times, mainly stuff from her side of the family. Nonetheless and did my best as a good bf and tried to be there for her on all levels. We went through financial, family, friends, car, etc troubles. You name it we went through it. And I will admit, I loved her dearly. I accepted her for who she was and thought she did the same. However things changed about a year ago. After my spring semester, I went to DC to intern ( it was a school requirement ) and talked it out with her few times and thought she would understand. For a month everything was good. With the distance apart, I felt sick without being around her and she did to. So for a month I tried my hardest to relocate back up north where we lived and intern in the the city. After some hard work, it worked out. When I told her I will be back, she cried. She cried not out of tears of joys, but because she didnt want me to come back. Even worse, she didnt want to talk to me for two weeks till she figured things out in her head. This was a huge blow and was hard to deal with. What made it worse, when I got back, she was not the nicest person that she used to be. She called me names, lied to me, stole from me, lead me on, ignored my attempts of wanting to go out spend time together, etc. I even cried in front of her asking her to stay. But nothing worked. She left me during hurricane sandy in my apartment alone with the cat. ( who I love ). I tried for two months straight but once I got it, I got it. There was no point. So, I packed her stuff up in a trash bag and told her to come get it and get one of her friends to help because I was not helping. I was fed up with everything from her. Especially since her reasoning for being that way let alone breaking up with me was so just lame and she wasnt upfront with me at all. After about two months of her being gone, I tried my best to move on. But then she started calling and texting out of no where wanting to work things out. I sincerely thought about it until a friend of mine showed me a picture of her on facebook with another guy. ( whom is definitely a step down.) When confronting her about it, she lied everytime and wanted me back. But she didnt seem to understand why I kept saying no along with my built up anger towards her. She was persistent for about 5 months. The last time she asked which was 2 weeks ago, I asked her to be honest with me. She lied again and again until I told her that I saw everything. She hung up after saying some nasty words. I will admit I am not 100% innocent and I said some things to her as well. And though I cannot find it in my heart to forgive her for everything she did to me in the past year, I can forgive myself for what I said and thinking so much about it. Since then, life has been amazing. I am reconnecting with my old friends, spending time with family, have a new girlfriend who loves me and is honest, finishing up grad-school, applying to jobs, and loving my cat. She asked to be friends but the person she is I dont want even as a friend. ( side note: once she noticed this and heard I was talking to someone else, it infuriated her. ) What I learned from all of this after a bad break up is that it is ok to feel emotionally hurt especially if you are a guy. It is part of being human. But as with life, we must always move on. It hasnt been easy at all but everyday I feel better that that person is out of my life. I reflect on it and noticed I was doing everything in that relationship and that I am just to good for her. And it shows I was good to her because she wouldnt have been persistent. Though I have been tempted, I always think to myself that I am to good of a person to be lied to and everthing else she did. I went unappreciated with what I did for her. And again, now she appreciates it because the new guy is not doing much of anything. Sooner or later I will truly forgive her but as of now, I cant. The memory is slightly still annoying. In closing, I do not wish anything bad on her. But karma is very real and it will deal with her sooner or later if it hasnt already. Hope my experience and me sharing it will help someone else. Edited July 13, 2013 by Tresx9386 Forgot a sentence.
Echo000 Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 nice post, appreciate you sharing your experience. I feel similar to you-- often we focus on women and if they are "too good" for you, but people rarely reverse the roles and determine if a guy is too good for a girl. I think thats just how society is. I can totally relate. Ex was a good human being and meant well, but was totally incapable of being able to show me love and support and care in the way i needed it. She was very immature, but i always stuck it out because i knew she didnt mean any harm and because i hoped she would mature and grow up. That never happened, and i should have left a long time before. My ex just informed me she is moving 3000 miles away, making any hope of us being together again forever gone. Which is probably good, because i (like you) am the type that really tries to be a good person- honest, caring, compassionate, and understanding even if i dont at first understand. Even in our final conversation, she was accusatory, frustrating, and stubborn. Totally unappreciative. I am so happy that you found someone who can show you the love and understanding that you seem to deserve. Being friends with someone who has no interest in even understanding you is not worth it. Especially when its an ex and all that history still exists.
JDPT Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 I appreciate your story and so glad to hear that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I strongly believe things happened for a reason you are not in a better emotional state moving ahead in life and being successful with your new partner and cat. I'm currently going through breakup and feeling the pain of it in the flesh day in and day out but with healthier choices and focusing on what really matters I gradually make progress. I simply need to be patient and now that this too shall pass.
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