kelozo Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Me and my girlfriend have been together for one and a half years now. It started as friends with benefits, but as we were always together we were practically a couple, so we decided to turn it into a monogamous relationship. The problem has always been, that she was pushing more towards a relationship while I wasn't as serious about it. I have never been deeply in love with her, but always loved her very much, and still do. This imbalance has caused us to break up and get back together three times. I have come to the point where I'm considering breaking up with her, for her own good and for mine. We both love each other very much, she's deeply in love with me while I have occasionally felt the in love feeling, but only in certain moments. I want all the best for her and really wish I would be more in love with her because I could really see her as my future wife, and when everything is going fine we are both truly happy. But the past keeps sneaking back causing arguments and fights. Its as a hard decision to let go of someone that you love, especially someone who loves you THAT much back who would do everything to make it work. I just believe my heart isn't 100% in it and I've never been truly in love with her. As I said, I WISH I would be more committed, but I believe I have come to the point that I need to break up. I'm just afraid I'll end up regretting it or finding out later that she was the girl for me! Please help me decide, am I doing the right thing by breaking up with her? Is it for the best? I mean, the heart wants what the heart wants right..? It just feels like such a big decision, because if only this little thing would be different and I would be as committed as her everything would be just perfect.. Has anyone been in a similar situation, or does anyone have any good advice (constructive please)?
BeautifulBlueEyes Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) I have not been you in this situation but I can tell you I am the girl in this situation currently. My boyfriend broke up with me for the same reasons you are questioning your relationship and I am thankful for that, it hurts like no ones business but if he had stuck around without being sure - he'd be hurting himself and lying to me. Do you really want to lie to her? Because what will happen if it turns out you will never feel that way for her? Will you settle your entire life for her happiness? Isn't your own worth just as much as hers? If you don't feel that way for her now then you are not being fair to her (or yourself). If you aren't committed to her and don't feel that way then chances are until you walk away you may never find your answers. But by hanging around you are denying yourself the chance to find someone you can feel that way for and HER the chance to find a man who will love her with the same intensity. Maybe once you walk away you will realize that she IS what you want (but her mind could change in that time as well). It sounds like you have made the decision but are questioning it because it will hurt (both of you). My only true advice is do what you think will be the best in the long run. If you can really commit to her and be happy with no doubts, then do it. But if you are doubting now and hang on - it will hurt so much more down the road if you can't feel that way. Edited July 12, 2013 by BeautifulBlueEyes
for666 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 something you must understand emotion love and true love is two def rant things.. you cant expect to be in love ALWAYS there is no such thing at all! we live in reality love is emotion that usually last for 6 month to 2 years depend on Your brain every one is def rant true love is something beyond this emotion it's a trust to open up knowing the person with you have no harm intention toward you and love you for what you are,trust you, and you trust them it's hard to explain cos i guess you are young... like me ^^ but i suggest you read about it what love is one thing for shore it's not an emotion cos that is never going to last ask your self if she love's you and trust you and wont cheat on you maby take a break to reflect and learn it but i suggest you start learning you'r self more and what love is
JDPT Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I just believe my heart isn't 100% in it and I've never been truly in love with her. As I said, I WISH I would be more committed, but I believe I have come to the point that I need to break up. I think you have found your answer my friend. All you need to do is be very honest with yourself and if you want to feel like you are doing the right thing you may also want to let her go to find someone who can be with her "100%" Telling you how much the break up will hurt will only point out the obvious however, you will at the end of the day know that you have made the right decision and once you get through the "grunt work" you will come out a better man making healthier and wiser decisions. Best of luck to you.
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