Broke up wih my girlfriend last night.

July 12, 2013

I am the most serious relationship she has ever had, she is not good with showing emotion and is tough, she is very independent and goal ore-anted, and she said she does not open up emotionally much because she does not want to get hurt so a lot of the time I feel like she is a little distant and she is not to affectionate. She said she does take me for granted and she knows it. And that she has things to work on and she is trying hard and knows she is not perfect but she is trying to be the best gf she can for me. She is 20 and I just turned 28.

Basically she would act different to me when around other people. I wanted to break up with her 2 weeks ago when she invited some other friends over to her house to watch fireworks with us. I was holding her and then her friends showed up and she just talked to them the whole time and sat down on the ground with her gf and talked to her while "ditching me" pretty much. It was a big deal and she later talked to me and she said she would work on it because she is not good showing emotions around others.

Last night she took her time at the gym and I told her we should leave soon because she was done with her workout just taking her time in the spa, and I told her I told her sisters I would go home and watch a show with them at 8 and we had 10 min tel it started. She basically wanted to talk to the other dude she knew that was in their and made me wait and said its not a big deal they will wait for us its recording. Then I came back 5 min later and said "OK can we go now?" and she said "can you shut the door now?" telling me to leave... So I felt very disrespected.

We went home and I told her I was going home she tried to say sorry and asked me to stay I didn't and she called me on the way home and after I called her selfish and telling her she is always acting selfish she tried to turn it on me and called me selfish because I bought her concert tickets (these were around $140 each by the way, and her best girl friend COULDNT take her, And after this convo I told her I will be selling the tickets and she can now go with her friend). She said I was selfish for doing that because her best friend was going to take her and I got them for her instead. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and felt once again unappreciated and taken for granted, so I told her I was done and I am breaking up with her. Do you all feel I did the right thing? She told me she Is definitely willing to work through this and If I want her back she would accept If I end up changing my mind.

Edited July 12, 2013 by alex007

July 12, 2013

She was selfish and walked all over you. You showed respect for yourself by finally ending it. Let her find someone else to step on while you find someone who will respect and treat you right.

July 12, 2013

You couldn't have been any more right in your choice tbh.

Shes self centered, not a good quality in a partner

July 12, 2013

She was in the spa with another GUY and she said "can you shut the door now?" to you!?

Wow...you should have left her there.

July 12, 2013

You did the right thing. She sounds self-absorbed. Plus, she's 20. Much maturing to be done if she's behaving this way.

She's afraid of getting hurt and that is why she has walls, but that's a separate issue from just being rude and cold to you i.e. talking to guy at gym.

July 12, 2013

Run run and no looking back. She's damaged goods on top of no common sense.

July 12, 2013

I am the most serious relationship she has ever had, she is not good with showing emotion and is tough, she is very independent and goal ore-anted, and she said she does not open up emotionally much because she does not want to get hurt so a lot of the time I feel like she is a little distant and she is not to affectionate. She said she does take me for granted and she knows it. And that she has things to work on and she is trying hard and knows she is not perfect but she is trying to be the best gf she can for me. She is 20 and I just turned 28.

Basically she would act different to me when around other people. I wanted to break up with her 2 weeks ago when she invited some other friends over to her house to watch fireworks with us. I was holding her and then her friends showed up and she just talked to them the whole time and sat down on the ground with her gf and talked to her while "ditching me" pretty much. It was a big deal and she later talked to me and she said she would work on it because she is not good showing emotions around others.

Last night she took her time at the gym and I told her we should leave soon because she was done with her workout just taking her time in the spa, and I told her I told her sisters I would go home and watch a show with them at 8 and we had 10 min tel it started. She basically wanted to talk to the other dude she knew that was in their and made me wait and said its not a big deal they will wait for us its recording. Then I came back 5 min later and said "OK can we go now?" and she said "can you shut the door now?" telling me to leave... So I felt very disrespected.

We went home and I told her I was going home she tried to say sorry and asked me to stay I didn't and she called me on the way home and after I called her selfish and telling her she is always acting selfish she tried to turn it on me and called me selfish because I bought her concert tickets (these were around $140 each by the way, and her best girl friend COULDNT take her, And after this convo I told her I will be selling the tickets and she can now go with her friend). She said I was selfish for doing that because her best friend was going to take her and I got them for her instead. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and felt once again unappreciated and taken for granted, so I told her I was done and I am breaking up with her. Do you all feel I did the right thing? She told me she Is definitely willing to work through this and If I want her back she would accept If I end up changing my mind.

If a woman really love and likes you a lot, she will literally kiss, hug and have sex with you like you wouldn't believe. Basically, what happens is that you are her meal ticket. She's a manipulative woman and typically their M.O is to actually make you guilty of things and to isolate you through control and manipulation using her friends and parents so you would beg for her attention and then she would have you more of the attention (this is her way of training you like a puppy to a master). When she first met you, she thought she can control you as she's used to that kind of attention. She's probably pretty as well and has her hand pick of the litter of men who can be easily controlled by her. But then, you are different. Faking her attention towards you just can't last very long you know; it takes her energy so this misunderstanding will take its toll on her. Is this a 3 to 6 months deal? So now, you actually said no and broke up with her. She felt wronged cause her ego said how dare you as a man break up with me. Whatever she said afterwards is basically her ego telling you that you are the fault not hers. Ignore that -- more guilt trip from her.

Let me tell you this. Do not let girls play you to become her meal and entertainment ticket while using guilt as punishment. Besides, when a woman really loves you, she'll PAY the tickets for you and never take you on a guilt trip. That's been my experience thus far with all the great ladies I dated and slept with.

Edited July 12, 2013 by happydate

July 12, 2013

Alright then I did make the right choice... I just felt iffy on it because she kept saying she was sorry and needed to work on things and did not want to break up.

July 12, 2013

If a woman really love and likes you a lot, she will literally kiss, hug and have sex with you like you wouldn't believe. Basically, what happens is that you are her meal ticket. She's a manipulative woman and typically their M.O is to actually make you guilty of things and to isolate you through control and manipulation using her friends and parents so you would beg for her attention and then she would have you more of the attention (this is her way of training you like a puppy to a master). When she first met you, she thought she can control you as she's used to that kind of attention. She's probably pretty as well and has her hand pick of the litter of men who can be easily controlled by her. But then, you are different. Faking her attention towards you just can't last very long you know; it takes her energy so this misunderstanding will take its toll on her. Is this a 3 to 6 months deal? So now, you actually said no and broke up with her. She felt wronged cause her ego said how dare you as a man break up with me. Whatever she said afterwards is basically her ego telling you that you are the fault not hers. Ignore that -- more guilt trip from her.

Let me tell you this. Do not let girls play you to become her meal and entertainment ticket while using guilt as punishment. Besides, when a woman really loves you, she'll PAY the tickets for you and never take you on a guilt trip. That's been my experience thus far with all the great ladies I dated and slept with.

Wow, you just described my ex there. Difference is I put up with it for way too long and my self esteem is shattered.

Anyway she drove past me yesterday when I was leaving work, she didnt see me but my heart dropped

8th day nc and getting better each day.

To the OP, good on you, you made the exact right call. you have a spine and are strong.

July 12, 2013

I broke up with her but for some reason still feel like It was not the right thing to do and maybe I should have just talked to her about things again. And maybe I over reacted. So that Is why I want advice to see If you all think that I did the right thing here.

July 12, 2013

Alex

You did the right thing. Her behavior was full of red flags.

If she had been interested in working on it she would have before you broke up with her.

July 12, 2013

But don't all relationships have their ups and downs? Isn't this pretty much another argument? People argue and you will never find the perfect girl who does every little thing right. And honestly I have rarely had problems with her. Her problems are not to bad and she seems like she really wants to work on them and grow in a relationship with me.

July 12, 2013

But don't all relationships have their ups and downs? Isn't this pretty much another argument? People argue and you will never find the perfect girl who does every little thing right. And honestly I have rarely had problems with her. Her problems are not to bad and she seems like she really wants to work on them and grow in a relationship with me.

I first want to congratulate you for making the right decision as she is clearly not what you want in life. There is a maturity factor along with her issues (as we have them all) that she needs with professional assistance work through. I've learned that all relationships will argue, it's simply bound to happen however, you need to take a hard look and ask yourself, does she really want to work things out or are her priorities not in sync with mine? I've been in your position where I would say to myself "well this is just another argument we will get through it and it will be ok..." however, these arguments in addition to lack of communication can lead to a party becoming so fed up to the point that he or she decides to call it quits regardless of how much lover one has pledged to the other. There are certain times in life where you need to do what's best for you and you only, and I strongly believe this was that time for you and thankfully you made the right decision. I wish you the best of luck in this process. Take care.

Edited July 12, 2013 by JDPT

July 12, 2013

I feel like she is a little distant and she is not to affectionate.
She said she does take me for granted and she knows it.
she is trying to be the best gf she can for me.

Basically she would act different to me when around other people.

I was holding her and then her friends showed up and she just talked to them the whole time and sat down on the ground with her gf and talked to her while "ditching me" pretty much.
she said she would work on it because she is not good showing emotions around others.

She basically wanted to talk to the other dude she knew...and made me wait
Then I came back 5 min later and said "OK can we go now?" and she said "can you shut the door now?" telling me to leave..

I called her selfish and telling her she is always acting selfish

she tried to turn it on me and called me selfish because I bought her concert tickets

She said I was selfish for doing that because her best friend was going to take her and I got them for her instead.

I highlighted all the key points you made.

Seems like you have been asking and she has been promising to get better for a while yet.

I kinda see excuses from her and no real effort.

Someone who humiliates me in public. Um no people here have agreed you did the right thing.

I don't think she can fix it. But it's your life.

Do you want to talk about how to try to fix it?

July 12, 2013

You could go back, but you'd just be in this position again. Continuing a relationship with this girl would be death by small cuts. I think you realize that.

July 12, 2013

So just to update everyone on this... I called her when she got off work and she said she was really shocked to hear from me because she thought I was done with her. I told her sorry I just dropped her and cut her off and that If she said she Is willing to work on things then I am also willing to work on things and that I would like to forgive and forget and move on from this and she said she needs time to think about everything she just cant be my girlfriend again right away because she does not know if I will just do this again, So she needs time to see if this will work out first.

So I am going to see If she can prove that she really wants to be with me If not then I cant say I didn't try and If It does not work then It does not work, wouldn't hurt to try though.

Edited July 13, 2013 by alex007

July 13, 2013

So just to update everyone on this... I called her when she got off work and she said she was really shocked to hear from me because she thought I was done with her. I told her sorry I just dropped her and cut her off and that If she said she Is willing to work on things then I am also willing to work on things and that I would like to forgive and forget and move on from this and she said she needs time to think about everything she just cant be my girlfriend again right away because she does not know if I will just do this again, So she needs time to see if this will work out first.

So I am going to see If she can prove that she really wants to be with me If not then I cant say I didn't try and If It does not work then It does not work, wouldn't hurt to try though.

I don't mean to rain on your parade immediately after a break up we tend to obsesses over the beautiful moments we experienced with our loved one and often neglect all the heart ache, flaws and things that made us doubt. Sounds to me like you had a weak moment and lost grip of reality. Take time for yourself and analyze putting all emotions aside, I understand that's very difficult to do but view her as a stranger and analyze your entire situation.

July 13, 2013

You said that all relationships have their up's and downs. Your right, they do but from what you described, I haven't seen a up yet. She said she wants to work on her..............for lack of a better term, selfishness. Seem to me she hasn't even made any kind of attempt to do anything but stay the same way and why shouldn't she. You did the right thing by breaking up with her and then you blew it by calling back and groveling around and asking her back. Truth be told, your going to really take a big hit down the road. This is no way to treat someone when their in a relationship. She proved to you that you don't count for anything so why do you want to be with someone like that?

July 13, 2013

So just to update everyone on this... I called her when she got off work and she said she was really shocked to hear from me because she thought I was done with her. I told her sorry I just dropped her and cut her off and that If she said she Is willing to work on things then I am also willing to work on things and that I would like to forgive and forget and move on from this and she said she needs time to think about everything she just cant be my girlfriend again right away because she does not know if I will just do this again, So she needs time to see if this will work out first.

So I am going to see If she can prove that she really wants to be with me If not then I cant say I didn't try and If It does not work then It does not work, wouldn't hurt to try though.

Well, that was a dumb move. At least make her come back groveling. Completely and utterly pointless.

July 13, 2013

yeah It was kinda dumb to call her up and ask If she wanted to still talk and work things out, I was basically saying I forgive her... and she said she wants time to work things out and she does not want to get straight back into a relationship with me, because I might just do this again... I don't know how her acting up and me being mad about It turns into her deciding If she wants me back now after she said she was willing to work things out the other night and would take me back... maybe because she has the power now?

July 13, 2013

yeah It was kinda dumb to call her up and ask If she wanted to still talk and work things out, I was basically saying I forgive her... and she said she wants time to work things out and she does not want to get straight back into a relationship with me, because I might just do this again... I don't know how her acting up and me being mad about It turns into her deciding If she wants me back now after she said she was willing to work things out the other night and would take me back... maybe because she has the power now?

Because she knows you have no backbone. She's always had the power and now she has it even more. You basically emasculated yourself. You were a wuss and now she can treat you however she wants.

July 13, 2013

yeah It was kinda dumb to call her up and ask If she wanted to still talk and work things out, I was basically saying I forgive her... and she said she wants time to work things out and she does not want to get straight back into a relationship with me, because I might just do this again... I don't know how her acting up and me being mad about It turns into her deciding If she wants me back now after she said she was willing to work things out the other night and would take me back... maybe because she has the power now?

I quiet honestly believe you are prolonging the inevitable and in the process losing your dignity. You are asking for tons of grief in the future. Based on what you have disclosed this woman has a ton of growing up to do, in addition to her priorities not being anywhere in sync with yours. I say run for the boarder, your will be better off in the future.

July 13, 2013

So just to update everyone on this... I called her when she got off work and she said she was really shocked to hear from me because she thought I was done with her. I told her sorry I just dropped her and cut her off and that If she said she Is willing to work on things then I am also willing to work on things and that I would like to forgive and forget and move on from this and she said she needs time to think about everything she just cant be my girlfriend again right away because she does not know if I will just do this again, So she needs time to see if this will work out first.

So I am going to see If she can prove that she really wants to be with me If not then I cant say I didn't try and If It does not work then It does not work, wouldn't hurt to try though.

She was right ALL along. You were a wuss and that you were bluffing. Here it goes again; she's playing games.

Girls like this has a 99.99% of picking up wussy guys (Beta pretending like Alpha) like you. They will never be wrong. When you date her again, she will drill your self-esteem down even more as punishment. I've met men who went through the second round and these chicks turn them into zombies (obedient, thoughtless and spineless).

Are you into mind game tortures? Or sex must be really good huh and you missed it?

July 13, 2013

yeah It was kinda dumb to call her up and ask If she wanted to still talk and work things out, I was basically saying I forgive her... and she said she wants time to work things out and she does not want to get straight back into a relationship with me, because I might just do this again... I don't know how her acting up and me being mad about It turns into her deciding If she wants me back now after she said she was willing to work things out the other night and would take me back... maybe because she has the power now?

You are not dumb. You have little self-esteem left, a victim of her manipulation. We all had been there dealing with manipulative witches like her. Which is why, NC should be practised and enforced at all times. You MUST REGAIN BACK your former self-esteem. It is the only thing you lost that you need to regain back. No loving decent woman want to drill her man's self-esteem down to the black hole. She did.

She always had the power. She has the vagina. You don't. You are only coming back to her because you missed the sex; not her character. Which means all you said about you're special and chick magnet in the past is all but a bunch of B.S. Women have photographic memory and she will put this call back as being; yeah whatever Alex said in the past is bull. You basically erased all your masculinity completely by doing this. You are her girlfriend now and she will announced to all her friends and parents that you are a wuss. Oh yeah, she will do this because she thrives in backstabbing her exes because she wants to project herself as being the one ontop. It's sick, but that's the way it is. It's her that needs help.

The only time you will have second chances is if the relationship is balanced, and respectful. You will know this and that the separation is basically a lack of compromise between 2 single adults. There is no balance because she has the power and you are begging.

Edited July 13, 2013 by happydate

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Broke up wih my girlfriend last night.

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