ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I have a crush on a guy at my job in a different department and I don't see him everyday. We spoke once n I asked him if he wanted to workout sometime (seen him jogging in the area i live in) just to be able to talk to him outside of work.. He agreed on a certain day and gave me a time and I said ok... Later on I completely forgot I am still working so I couldn't make it. I don't have his number n no way to contact him. I kinda been avoiding him so I wouldn't look desperate., idk.. .Two weeks passed and I decided to give him my number. I couldn't go to his department that day so I wrote a little note with my number and got someone to give it to him. I haven't received a call or a text. Idk if guys usually wait to contact someone or what.. I thought he would contact me that day or after his shift. He usually says hi to me and winks when I see him.. so i am so confused and embarassed. Am I being impatient? I feel bad that I didnt show up for the gym, but who knows if he went. My thing is.. if u dont want to communicate, dont wink at me, make flirty comments, and wave everytime you see me.. because now I'm all messed up in the head and dont know what to think. Hope I hear from him If he doesnt text me I cant show my face in that department ever again.
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 Huh?? I had no number to reach him to let him know I couldnt make it or ask if he was going another day, etc.. He has my number now and I could explain what happened if he texts me.. I dont see the big deal in that. Like I said who knows if he went anyway.. I am the one who asked him to work out with me.
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 OMGGGG I like this guy ALOT.. u think i didnt want to show up? when he was talking I wasnt thinking when he gave me the time and didnt hit me until I left his building! He leaves earlier I dont get out of work until 10 pm and he told me between 5 and 8 pm. It was my first time approaching him. I get you but damn cut me some slack things happen and I hope he is kind enough to realize that even if it takes him a couple days to respond. :/
MidwestUSA Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Right. You asked him and then didn't show up and now you expect him to give you a call. Amazing. AFTER she let two weeks go by. How do you know that person actually passed that little piece of paper on to him? How do you know he hasn't moved on? But yea, he shoulda dropped what he was doing to call her and ask "where were you two weeks ago at 2pm? What happened, I waited for 6 hours." Sad.
therhythm Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 OMGGGG I like this guy ALOT.. u think i didnt want to show up? when he was talking I wasnt thinking when he gave me the time and didnt hit me until I left his building! He leaves earlier I dont get out of work until 10 pm and he told me between 5 and 8 pm. It was my first time approaching him. I get you but damn cut me some slack things happen and I hope he is kind enough to realize that even if it takes him a couple days to respond. :/ It doesn't matter your intentions... I understand you didn't want to miss it and it was very unfortunate that you had to work late and could not contact him. Till here everything is normal. But why wouldn't you go to him next day and explain him why you didn't go? I would have just come to him and say "sorry I couldn't go to the gym yesterday as we agreed but I got stuck with work and I could not call you as I don't have your phone, do you want to meet any other time? " Now after two weeks you expect him to call you? You have to be from another world! If you have interest on him you better make the move 1
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 The woman gave him the note yesterday.. And move on from what? lol... Since you guys are saying this I will grow some balls and tell him, face to face, around a bunch of nosey coworkers, why I couldnt make it and if he would like to hang out one day.. He may reject me.. but u know what, I like him and I'd rather know up front if hes interested or not. 1
will1988 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I'm not this guy, but like most guys if a girl no shows on a date, once... then i move on and am no longer interested. It was an accident, but to him it was you blowing him off. When you try to tell him that it was an accident and want to do it again, he may give you another shot, or pull the whole "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." saying.
will1988 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 The woman gave him the note yesterday.. And move on from what? lol... Since you guys are saying this I will grow some balls and tell him, face to face, around a bunch of nosey coworkers, why I couldnt make it and if he would like to hang out one day.. He may reject me.. but u know what, I like him and I'd rather know up front if hes interested or not. and passing notes will not get you looked at weird at all? Talking to, and planning to hang out with a coworker after work is a normal part of being an adult. If other people have problems with that that then that is their problem, not yours. passing notes is so junior high! come on, just woman up and go talk to him! 2
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 It doesn't matter your intentions... I understand you didn't want to miss it and it was very unfortunate that you had to work late and could not contact him. Till here everything is normal. But why wouldn't you go to him next day and explain him why you didn't go? I would have just come to him and say "sorry I couldn't go to the gym yesterday as we agreed but I got stuck with work and I could not call you as I don't have your phone, do you want to meet any other time? " Now after two weeks you expect him to call you? You have to be from another world! If you have interest on him you better make the move The reason why I couldnt go the very next day was because it was a holiday and his dept doesnt work. My dept is 24 hours 7 days a week. That monday I couldnt go because staff has to alternate who walks over to that building to pick up clients and it wasnt my week.. its just a messed up situation. I was already scared to approach around ppl so i figured Ill have someone who was going over there give him the note. its actually been a week and three days. I didnt know ppl were so unforgiving. things happen
therhythm Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 and passing notes will not get you looked at weird at all? Talking to, and planning to hang out with a coworker after work is a normal part of being an adult. If other people have problems with that that then that is their problem, not yours. passing notes is so junior high! come on, just woman up and go talk to him! I loved that part of your post :lmao: 1
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 and passing notes will not get you looked at weird at all? Talking to, and planning to hang out with a coworker after work is a normal part of being an adult. If other people have problems with that that then that is their problem, not yours. passing notes is so junior high! come on, just woman up and go talk to him! That hit me.. :/ I'll try to make myself look better and talk to him.
therhythm Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 The reason why I couldnt go the very next day was because it was a holiday and his dept doesnt work. My dept is 24 hours 7 days a week. That monday I couldnt go because staff has to alternate who walks over to that building to pick up clients and it wasnt my week.. its just a messed up situation. I was already scared to approach around ppl so i figured Ill have someone who was going over there give him the note. its actually been a week and three days. I didnt know ppl were so unforgiving. things happen People are very unforgiving when they think they have been stood up... if you explain him the situation it may change but only if you explain it... let it go for 2 weeks is not really a good way to go. If you don't want to talk in front of other colleagues why don't you ask him if you can talk with him in private for a second? I mean, I am sure you guys have a meeting room or somewhere you can have a private conversation. 3
will1988 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I loved that part of your post :lmao: wow, i re-read that, and it actually sounds horrible.... but makes sense to me, slightly... probably missed a word or two. 2
will1988 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 wow, i re-read that, and it actually sounds horrible.... but makes sense to me, slightly... probably missed a word or two. actually included one two many thats
KathyM Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 You should have gone up to him at work the next day and apologized for not being able to meet him the day before because of work, and say that you'd love to do it another time, and then ask for his number. Now that two weeks has passed and you sent him that note (which I agree with the posters that that is high schoolish and immature), the ball is in his court. If he calls, apologize again for the first time, and show interest in getting together again. If he doesn't call, then drop it, he is no longer interested. 1
salparadise Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I didnt know ppl were so unforgiving. things happen Yes, it's apparent from you posts that you aren't quite getting it. Standing someone up is seriously disrespectful, and that's even if you contact them to cancel. If you had gone to him the next day he may have been understanding. Try and put yourself in his shoes and imagine how it made him feel. You're assuming that he would know what you're thinking, but his assumptions are most likely the opposite. Men and women learn to divest immediately and completely when this happens. It just kills the positive energy, actually turns it negative. Get over there and hope he's willing to forgive and give you another shot, but you've got serious ground to make up. Apologize profusely. You have to take the lead in setting this right in order to have a chance.
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 When I realized I was still at work the time I agreed to go, I made myself believe he didn't show up anyway and probably stood me up, cuz im just insecure. So I made it a goal to give him my number so we can just talk and I can find out if hes married or not, if he wants to become friends, get to know each other, etc. Last month he made a joke when he was bringing one of the clients to my building.. I opened the door, he smiled and said "I came to see you, (we both laughed as I figured he was just teasing me) he lightly touched my arm and said see you later" i was in shock i shouldve stopped him right then but another coworker and clients were around so i chickened out. I made an honest mistake and I get how he must have felt if he waited for me. How should I start my apology? After all of this I definitely should fall back and let him pursue me once he knows how i really feel
therhythm Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 When I realized I was still at work the time I agreed to go, I made myself believe he didn't show up anyway and probably stood me up, cuz im just insecure. So I made it a goal to give him my number so we can just talk and I can find out if hes married or not, if he wants to become friends, get to know each other, etc. Last month he made a joke when he was bringing one of the clients to my building.. I opened the door, he smiled and said "I came to see you, (we both laughed as I figured he was just teasing me) he lightly touched my arm and said see you later" i was in shock i shouldve stopped him right then but another coworker and clients were around so i chickened out. I made an honest mistake and I get how he must have felt if he waited for me. How should I start my apology? After all of this I definitely should fall back and let him pursue me once he knows how i really feel I think it is you the one who has interest on him and it is you the one who made a mistake so expecting him to pursue you would be totally counterproductive and probably useless... If you want him go for him
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 If you're going to troll, at least put some effort into it. Troll?? Sorry I dont understand
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 I think it is you the one who has interest on him and it is you the one who made a mistake so expecting him to pursue you would be totally counterproductive and probably useless... If you want him go for him Okay so if I get to see him on Monday, what should I say??????
pteromom Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Okay so if I get to see him on Monday, what should I say?????? "Hey, how's it going? Sorry I wasn't able to make it to the gym. Do you want to try again tonight? Let me have your number so if something comes up, I can let you know." I think you absolutely need to address the gym-thing so he understands. Right now, he is probably just confused about what your intentions are. If he is winking at you, he likes you. Unless he is one of those guys who wink at everyone, in which case, don't talk to him. 1
JDPT Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 It appears to me that he is the "cool/flirty" type of guy, nothing wrong with that. I used to play that game with girls until I built up the courage to ask them out. Don't worry he may be as shy as you are, in the meantime don't obsess over it move along with your life, if he notices that you stop paying much attention to you he will initiate a real conversation with you.
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Okay WELL this chapter may come to an end soon. I heard rumors that he's married.. He never called or texted me! Last week I seen him.. he looked sooooo gorgeous.. ugh.. I waved from a distance and left.. I didnt have enough guts to talk to him. Honestly IDK if he got the note or not because today I walked in his building.. he looked up, looked back down and when I got close he looked up, smiled and said Heyyy how are you" All i could do was smile and say "hey whats up" and kept walkin bcz ppl were around and my co worker and I had to get clients.. He hasnt contacted me.. but still acknowledges me? I have a little more confidence to speak to him now since he acknowledged me first and had a big smile on his face. Its still confusing tho. When he looked at me he almost did a double take.. My co worker caught that. Anyways.. I HOPE I see him tomorrow so I can cut to the chase and propose a hang out. He doesnt seem worried about the gym so im gonna forget about that. Edited July 24, 2013 by ShyOne82
MidwestUSA Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 No, don't propose a hangout. Do a little detective work, confirm his marriage, then direct your efforts elsewhere.
Author ShyOne82 Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 No, don't propose a hangout. Do a little detective work, confirm his marriage, then direct your efforts elsewhere. Well... its official.. I found out he's married so this whole fantasy is over.. I guess in the very beginning he was just innocently flirting and didn't mean anything by it. Sigh. I'm a little crushed, but one day I will make a connection with a guy I really like. To be con't...
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