budd98 Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I have been broke up with my ex for a little over 3 months now. We dated for almost 3 years and she left me for another guy. She has tried to contact me a couple of times and I have remained strong. Last weekend was homecoming at our college and she sent me a text asking if I was coming. I replied a day later with, "no, but my parents are." She responded with "why." I briefly told her why and that was it. She then sent me a text saying that she ran into one of my friends and his new g/f. I never responded. Anyways, a week goes by and then I get an e-mail from her. I run a business and she said that she has been telling people about my internet site to help me get business. She also wished me good luck and said "talk to you soon." SO what I am not understanding is the intent of all of this. I know it is impossible to know exactly what another is thinking, but could someone please give me some insite as to what it could mean. I am probably way better off without her, but I still do miss her and sometimes wonder. Just looking for some advice. Thanks!
Jilly10340 Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Well, it could one of two things: 1. She could realize she's retarded and wants to try to get you back if new bf bailed on her or 2. She could want to be friends (I mean, you were a part of her life for 3 yrs, that's hard to let go!) I think that you're doing the right thing by being kind of stand offish, not expecting too much, etc. I would just see what happens.
chicothechimp Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I agree with Jilly... play it cool and be discerning... woman also seem to generally be able to remain friends and have no swexual/romantic stuff happen far more than guys it seems... she literally could just be looking for a friend. What you have to ask yourself is if you would want to be friends with her in light of how it has all played itself out to date. It may just compliacte things again. But then it may be a source of relational life, too. be cautious and make it tough for her but not impossible. This isn't about playing games. It is about setting healthy boundaries that will keep you sane in the long haul. Who knows, you really may meet someone else who is more mature and aptly suited to you! Chico
head/heels Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 but she hasnt contacted me and it was 4 years .......and it happened only 1 month before i was planning to propose to her!! I dont know what i would do but from EVERYTHING I HAVE READ ON HERE IT SOUNDS LIKE: she is missing you as the one she spent 3 years with but probably doesnt have the sexual/relationship/in love feeling.............that you have for her since she left you when you still were deeply in love with her (i.e. she had been preparing herself for what she was going to do for awhile --stupid huh? I hate that feeling that my ex knew she was having different feelings about "us" and never mentioned it but held it inside....if your ex did this too then you feel just like me on that topic...... from what i read on here, she has not had enough time become the new person you need......she needs more time to see what she had and why she blew it.... SHe is just weak and reaching out for help...if you give it to her she will know she still has you and she will immediately feel better about herself and go out and find someone else...Believe me....my ex called me and told me how bad she was doing since she broke up with me and then when i told her that she could be with me when she figures it all out ...she said i just see you as my friend ....i.e. i am sorry you confused my totally f'ed up last month or two as i want you back and want to end this hurting!! I guess i am dumb for not realizing she is in the dumps because she dumped me and i thought that getting back with me would help her.... But now i realize she is at a struggle with herself and she cant be loved right or love right so she is a mess and wont be happy if she doesnt face herself! I wont be there when she comes around b/c it will take years in my opinion! Just keep ignoring her and let her actions (not words and IM's ) speak for her....
Author budd98 Posted October 24, 2004 Author Posted October 24, 2004 Thanks for all of the replies. Do you think that I should respond to the e-mail or should I just not respond to anything anymore? Is it true, that if I don't respond that she will miss or think about me more? Or will it just drive her away?
chicothechimp Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 You could respond... but wait a few days to a week to do so... that is my suggestion... I hope that you have an intuitive sense of what is the right thing to do... Chico
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