rosettaa Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I've been at my job for around seven months now and have been attracted to a guy in my department since I started. About a month or two ago (after I told him I was newly single), we started emailing back and forth just chatting about little things. I've been out to happy hours with my coworkers a few times and each time I've ended up hanging around with him for the majority of it, and we get sort of silly and flirty. One night after I went home he texted me and asked if I got home okay and we ended up texting until early morning hours, and this past weekend he texted me a couple times asking how I was and saying he watched a movie I recommended to him and liked it (I fell asleep and didn't get back to him... oops). He also invited me over to his house for a little get together with some of his friends, but I couldn't make it because I had plans already (and told him so). When we're in the office we don't really talk too often. I sit in a different room than he does. He'll pass by my desk a couple times a day and just say hi or something. If we see each other outside of the department we'll usually talk about how the day is going and after work plans and what not. This week was quiet and he didn't email or text me pretty much all week. I'm pretty shy and don't feel confident trying to talk to him first usually. He went away for vacation today and I'm wondering if itd be weird for me to just send a text saying I hope hes having fun? I over analyze and I'm afraid that maybe since I didn't get back to him last weekend and couldn't make it to his place for the party that he's not interested anymore (if he even was). I can't even begin to try and read or understand guys, and I always feel like if I do one small thing wrong that its ruined.
D-Lish Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Firstly, is there a dating policy enforced at your place of employment? Secondly, it sounds like he is interested, and has been feeling you out. You turned down an invite, so I think it's appropriate for you to give a shout out to him. Go for it, ask him how his vacay is going.
sdraw108 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Yes, send him a text. You turned down his invite (with a valid reason, but he doesn't know whether or not that was just an excuse) and then you haven't emailed/texted him for a week. He probably thinks you're not interested at this point.
sdraw108 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Also, it seems that every text conversation you've had with him was initiated by him, and you never initiate one. That's another strong sign of disinterest, from his point of view.
Author rosettaa Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 My office is extremely laid back, theres no policy against employees dating one another. Theres actually several married couples that met there. I had also told him why I couldn't go to his get together and texted him the day asking how it was. I guess I'm just apprehensive to try and make moves just because I've been rejected harshly before.
JackDrc Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 My office is extremely laid back, theres no policy against employees dating one another. Theres actually several married couples that met there. I had also told him why I couldn't go to his get together and texted him the day asking how it was. I guess I'm just apprehensive to try and make moves just because I've been rejected harshly before. If you aren't willing to risk rejection for a guy you like then you must not be too attracted to them. He definitely thinks you have lost interest and you're worrying about how it will look. 1
Author rosettaa Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 I'm definitely attracted to him and am interested in him. I guess I'm just afraid of looking desperate or something.
JackDrc Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I'm definitely attracted to him and am interested in him. I guess I'm just afraid of looking desperate or something. You're a girl, so if the guy likes you, it isn't a turnoff. Girls are the beta sex so they can ask desperate. There are limits but you're definitely not exceeding them. Plus girls can be friends with guys they like who aren't attracted to them, so if he isn't then it won't affect your working environment. If the genders were reversed, this type of thing would be a bad idea cause most guys can't handle it.
D-Lish Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I'm definitely attracted to him and am interested in him. I guess I'm just afraid of looking desperate or something. He's done more work trying to get your attention than you have trying to get his attention- so you won't look desperate just giving him a shout out while he's on vacay. Go for it- seriously. I have some very serious rules about women chasing men- and I am outspoken on the matter of women chasing after men that don't seem interested. I encourage you to send him a text- I think he needs affirmation or he'll give up and move on.
smile1983 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I'm also very shy and do not know when guys genuinely like me or are just being friendly/flirty. I think you should text him because he might think you're not that into him if you don't.
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 If you are shy you probably haven't given him enough indications that you are actually interested. That, plus the fact you turned down his invite, could be making him think you're not into him that much. You don't have to ask him straight out, you can say something along the lines: "So when are you taking me to lunch/coffee/etc?". If he plays along and makes plans then he's interested.
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