ltomlinson81 Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 My ex of 4 years and I have been broken-up for a little over a month. We have gone our separate ways, and have not blurred the lines of the breakup much at all. Most of my friends were "our" friends and I have given him free reign of them. However, one of my closest girlfriends is a part of that group of people and she still sees him out once in a while, as well as has some light email correspondence with him (forwards). This is driving me crazy, and she knows it hurts me. Any ideas on how I can cope?
bluechocolate Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 It would piss me off too but you should try to let it go (depending of course on how much you value this friendship). Has she done or said anything that makes you question her loyalties re: you vs. your ex? Did you and your ex have a particularily nasty break up such that he was so awful to you that it's hard to understand why someone who was your friend would want to keep in touch with him? From the way you describe it she is not really having much contact at all. See's him out once in a while - meaning they are not making arrangements to go out? - light email forwarded correspondence - meaning that they are not directly corresponding with each other on a regular basis? If they are still a part of the same circle of friends it may be difficult for her NOT to have contact with him. Are you sure you're not making mountains out of mole hills here? Maybe she has designs on your ex - now I know that would piss me off but would still have to rationalise it - we're not together - they're both single - they want to get together - I can't/shouldn't stop them. Having said that, it probably would make me question our friendship and we would probably grow apart as a result. If she knows it hurts you she shouldn't be telling you about her contact. If your friendship is strong enough I would imagine that she would lay off until you feel more distant about him. Given that you went out for 4 years a month is very little in terms of "getting over it". Have you talked about this with her? What does she say?
Author ltomlinson81 Posted October 22, 2004 Author Posted October 22, 2004 My ex and I were together for almost 4 years and he cheated. I think my true friends wouldn't want anything to do with someone who hurt me as badly as he did. She is not interested in him in any way. She can avoid him, but doesn't. The circle of friends is more like a circle of acquaintances for her. It bothers me, but I know I can't do anything about it.
Starnette83 Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 sounds like your friend is not a real friend, shes maybe trying to hook up with him, i think u start thinking twice whether to keep this friend around, thats mest up, if she knows shes hurting u, why is she doing this, doesnt sound like a good friend.
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