Mjm1014 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I feel pathetic...I'm 26, I've asked out I think over 30-40 women this year and not one gave me the time of day after a first date (if I'm even lucky enough to get one). I'm not really sure what is wrong with me, and I don't expect any of you to be able to tell me since you don't know anything about me, but is there any professionals out there that can help figure these things out? Does anyone have experience going to someone and was it worth the money? It boggles my mind-I have a good job doing something that really impresses people (not bragging because while it is cool the pay isn't that great but I enjoy it), was raised with good morals, I feel like I have a nice personality-I don't like talking about myself at all, and I work out everyday and would say I'm athletic (I'm only 5'6" though and feel like that hinders me greatly in the dating world). I have few friends (and no female friends anymore) because of how much I've had to move for my job. Few friends since people come and go in my company every month, and I work with all men. I couldn't think of any other way to meet anyone besides the bar or gym so I set up an online dating profile, keep my pictures up to date, and get lots of messages, but one thing I notice is when girls approach me on these dates in person for the first time they usually have horrible expressions on their faces when they meet me...maybe I'm ugly? I don't manipulate pictures and I try to keep them looking natural. I don't really know what's wrong!! I look in the mirror and am happy with what I see-I looked jacked, toned, tan. I usually go home after these dates thinking, wow we had such great conversations and she seemed interested big time then I never hear from them again, or wow she treated me horrible off the bat and clearly wanted to get out of there. I notice that over the past four years girls talk to me less and less to the point that I can't remember the last time ANY girl initiated anything with me whether it be approaching me (yes I know, its the guys job to approach them-which I do, but my friends get hit on right and left!) or text/call/facebook me (former friends that were female). When I do approach them in public they act like they couldn't be bothered talking to me or make it a point they have boyfriends. When my friends are hanging out with girls and I say something they look at me like I'm an idiot and ignore me. I feel like something about me has changed and I'm not sure what it is. I realize life could be worse but it's hard not to feel like there is something horribly wrong with me like I'm deformed or something when it's so clear that no girls take me serious. I've asked out prob over 40 girls in the past two years and nothing came about after one date...not even with ones I wasn't attracted to that didn't take care of themselves. WHAT do I do? I'm getting older everyday and I feel like it's getting harder and harder finding decent singles that I am attracted to since everyone is getting hitched, my friends and family prob are starting to think I'm a g*y because there are no females in my life-them asking me everyday what the deal is is starting to drag me down-I'm trying I feel pathetic to be 26 and in this situation. I'm not really sure what is wrong with me, and I don't expect any of you to be able to tell me since you don't know anything about me, but is there any professionals out there that can help figure these things out? Does anyone have experience going to someone and was it worth the money? Any other opinions. Thanks for your time. Good night.
BradJacobs Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 You averaged asking one new girl out a week. I doubt all of them said yes and the ones that did didn't want a second date. So what does that come out to? One first date a month? After how many first dates were you expecting something to happen?
CptSaveAho Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 become an @ss hole... they will throw themselves all over you 1
sdraw108 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I don't like talking about myself at all. This probably doesn't help!
Author Mjm1014 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) Well when I said 30-40 I mean I have no idea the actual number but it's something ridiculous...most of them were asked out over the dating website and out of the 30-40 maybe 20% agreed to meet with me and not one of them pulled through and wanted a second date. As weird as this sounds, most of the girls that didn't even want to meet with me would still text me/call me like crazy but would always make excuses why the couldn't hang out as if they wanted to keep me on the backburner as guy #2..the ones that I did meet just wanted nothing to do with me after the date. Lots of wasted time and money spent on dates and frankly it's embarrassing when friends always ask-how did your date go and I say well looks like I "**** up again" lol.. As far as not talking about myself is concerned, I still talk about myself a little, but I don't want to seem full of myself so I keep it to a minimum Maybe online is just not for me. Either I'm socially awkward, too short, or most likely I'm just ugly...I just wish I knew which one!! Edited July 12, 2013 by Mjm1014
BradJacobs Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Well when I said 30-40 I mean I have no idea the actual number but it's something ridiculous...most of them were asked out over the dating website and out of the 30-40 maybe 20% agreed to meet with me and not one of them pulled through and wanted a second date. As weird as this sounds, most of the girls that didn't even want to meet with me would still text me/call me like crazy but would always make excuses why the couldn't hang out as if they wanted to keep me on the backburner as guy #2..the ones that I did meet just wanted nothing to do with me after the date. Lots of wasted time and money spent on dates and frankly it's embarrassing when friends always ask-how did your date go and I say well looks like I "**** up again" lol.. As far as not talking about myself is concerned, I still talk about myself a little, but I don't want to seem full of myself so I keep it to a minimum Maybe online is just not for me. Either I'm socially awkward, too short, or most likely I'm just ugly...I just wish I knew which one!! So 6-8 dates roughly so far for the year and you were expecting a different outcome (inferred from your posts)? You're 26 so there's probably a good chance that you've been visited by a door-to-door solicitor by now. Ever get the vibe that they didn't care about your needs or stop to listen to you at all? That they were just out for the sale? What was more important for them was to close the deal right then and there so they could make bank and move on to the next door. It's not the best analogy but that's how being desperate comes off. You sound like you need someone in your life rather than want to take the time to find the right one. Lose that mentality. Lose the need because I am certain it's manifesting itself as desperation on dates.
Philosoraptor Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 So you're meeting lots of people? Sounds like you're not doing that badly. To find the right person you need to be patient. Last summer I was going on a few first dates a week with people I met just about anywhere. Eventually met one that just clicked instantly and went from there to getting married next June. Just have to be patient.
raccoontt Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Show us your picture, so we can tell if there is something wrong with your appearance.
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