I live in VA, can anyone give me brief explaination of the process?

[Guinevere04]

I haven't consulted an attorney yet and just wonder exactly how it all works. We have a child so I know we have to be apart a year. He moved out 3 weeks ago so once I get an attorney do we work out a separation date based on when he moved out? I guess each case is different. Then we have a separation agreement and do something about visitation and c/s at that time? Then at a year we work out a divorce agreement and that goes before a judge? Do we have to explain to a judge what happened? We want to go ahead and try to sell the house now because we can't afford him living somewhere else and the house too. I figure if we pay off credit card bills with the difference and split the rest it will make things easier later.

 

Can anyone give any words of wisdom before this big headache starts?

[moimeme]

It really is best to consult a lawyer or legal aid in your area. Laws vary so much from place to place, and get changed sometimes. Your local experts are the most likely people to give you correct information.

[Merin]

As Moi points out it really would be best to seek legal advice in your state as the laws do vary...

 

In some states (actually a lot of them) there is what's called "No Fault Divorce" This basically means that the court is not interested in hearing "Who started it" or for what reason(s) the only thing they want to know is, is the marriage broken beyond repair regardless of who did what to whom.

 

If you are the one who files for a divorce then you are the petitioner and your husband the respondant. They will ask you for financial records such as debt and assets as well as previous tax returns. Each party must file a financial avidavit and because you have a child together you will both be asked to fill out a parenting time worksheet.

 

If your state requires a seperation period then the matter will be set for temporary orders in the court. At this time decisons will be made for child support, parenting time, spousal support, debt/asset responsibility. At this time as well you may be court ordered to take a parenting class (both parties) and depending on how old your child is, you may also be court ordered to enroll them in a class on coping with divorce.

 

If a divorce or it's content is contested.. then both parties may be court ordered to attent mediation for an impartial party to try to help the petitioner and respondant make choices they can both live with. This saves a lot of time in court... if you can work it out.

 

Again states vary.. so check with your laws in your state.

 

Final court date, is the divorce decree...

 

My words of advise... take care of yourself and your little person. Divorce can be and is very hard on kids..

 

Good Luck

[Guinevere04]

Thank you both.