Omaha Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Hey, guys. This is my first post here, and I'm excited to talk with you guys and learn more about topics I'm interested in. The main thing I've been thinking about today is pornography, and how it affects me. I've been looking at it since I was in middle school, and over time my tolerance for it has increased steadily. Through all the relationships I've had since then (I'm in my early 20s now,) I've continued to look at it-- I guess you could say I haven't found a reason good enough to stop looking at it, because for every negative experience I had with it, I had a satisfying one as well. But it seems that the more I look at it, the less content with it I am. There are obvious consequences to me looking at it-- I become so exposed to sex and the like that those types of thoughts don't excite me like I should, etc. And now I have a girlfriend that I really care about, and I'd like to be as sexually ready for her as I can be when we get to the physical stage. So do some of you guys prefer to not look at porn-- not because of any moral obligation, but just because you think you're better off without it? As of lately, when I look at it I feel empty afterwards-- it's just not rewarding anymore, and seem to always I feel like I've wasted my time with it. I guess I'm just wondering any of you feel similarly.
tman666 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 (edited) I think that it's pretty well documented that overuse of porn can lead to erectile dysfunction. My personal experience is that I'm better off not looking at it (though I do enjoy it from time to time, haha. Sue me). I find that when I don't look at it, my moods are better, I'm much more interested in actual, real life sex (always a good thing, right?), I'm mentally sharper, and more energetic. Especially considering you have a girlfriend, I'd highly recommend you ditch the porn. Porn addiction is a real thing, and not a road you want to be on. If you're able to kick it, or at least keep viewings few and far between, I think you'll notice a lot of improvement in your life. Keep in mind that every time you look at porn (and masturbate), you're basically getting a huge dopamine rush. Over time, your dopamine receptors can become resistant or "worn down", so to speak. Edited July 11, 2013 by tman666 5
Author Omaha Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 Very good points, Tman. I'm definitely more energetic when I don't look at it, and I am more physically drawn to my girlfriend. I guess I'm just a bit unsure what to do instead of porn, you know? Don't get me wrong-- I just look at it every 1-2 days, and always when I'm at home with nothing better to do-- but I've gotten so used to looking at it by now. And I have an iPhone, which is the most porn-friendly device out there. And I love the avatar!
tman666 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Very good points, Tman. I'm definitely more energetic when I don't look at it, and I am more physically drawn to my girlfriend. I guess I'm just a bit unsure what to do instead of porn, you know? Don't get me wrong-- I just look at it every 1-2 days, and always when I'm at home with nothing better to do-- but I've gotten so used to looking at it by now. And I have an iPhone, which is the most porn-friendly device out there. And I love the avatar! Have sex with your girl. Create music Create art House chores Work out Read Etc. There are a million other things to do with your energy. Avoid compartmentalizing your sexual energy: it all comes from the same source. Use that energy for something that benefits you, or stimulates your mind or body. Do some research on the "No Fap" movement. It seems sort of isolated to bodybuilding circles at the moment, but I think you'll find that it applies directly to your situation. Glad you like the avi! Tim and Eric for life, cuz. 3
Revolver Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Porn to me has always been strictly a masturbatory aid. I don't necessarily "like it" anymore then the person who's poor "likes" welfare. It's just something I to use because of the current situation I'm in 1
crude Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 This is a first. The posters on here over think relationships, over think texting, and now you're over thinking porn. 1
tman666 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 This is a first. The posters on here over think relationships, over think texting, and now you're over thinking porn. Great post. Thanks for enlightening us with your constructive addition to this discussion. 5
BreakOnThrough Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Only use it if you find it enhances your relationship in some way (gets you more in the mood, increase sexuality etc.) Using it simply as a release primary to your sexual relationship with your partner is only hurting yourself. Having consistent, fully charged relations with your partner is much much more satisfying IMO. Porn just "waters down" the actual sexual experience with a consistent person if its just primarily used for periodic releases inbetween. 1
Author Omaha Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 Thank you, guys. This thread has helped me a lot, and I understand what all of you are saying. Have sex with your girl. Create music Create art House chores Work out Read Etc. There are a million other things to do with your energy. Avoid compartmentalizing your sexual energy: it all comes from the same source. Use that energy for something that benefits you, or stimulates your mind or body. Do some research on the "No Fap" movement. It seems sort of isolated to bodybuilding circles at the moment, but I think you'll find that it applies directly to your situation. Glad you like the avi! Tim and Eric for life, cuz. You bring up some great points here. I actually have been doing a ton of stuff lately-- I play drums for my band, which is one thing I've really been loving. But it is important to keep one's self busy! I try to spend a fair amount of time with friends as well, as they help me to keep myself in check a lot of times.
Author Omaha Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 And my girlfriend and I haven't even really started doing anything sexual, to be honest. I typically wait awhile to get to know the girl I'm with before I get interested in such things. Also, we don't really have a way to have a ton of privacy right now-- so that won't change for at least another month. But once fall comes, I'll have my own house... and we'll be able to do whatever we want. =]
Els Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 If you feel that it's causing you negative consequences - then yes, it is not worth it. Would be a good idea to stop. IMO porn is a lot like BC . Responses to it are going to vary widely, and whether you choose to use it or not really depends on your individual response. Personally, I have learnt a lot from porn, and found that my occasional use (1-2x/month) actually does help our sex life. But others may find differently, and in that case they should try stopping.
Hermaeus Mora Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 I think it is worth it. You can learn many new thing about both male and female bodies just by watching porn, and learn new techniques. You'll learn what a woman's clitoris does, and you'll learn various different ways of both getting and giving orgasms. If you are a sexually active person, you can find out about new things to try in the bedroom. To me, that is the only purpose of porn. Watching porn simply for the sake of getting off is retarded. Your body does not actually require you to "get off" porn should be used for educative purposes since they don't teach people about orgasms in school. I used to watch porn, but I don't anymore because I've already seen the good stuff. I'm not going to watch the stupid things like "facials, or gangbangs".
MrCastle Posted July 14, 2013 Posted July 14, 2013 Some people are not mentally built for it. Some abuse it and have an addiction to it like any other addiction. It may distort body image and sexual expectations for some. Or if you're well adjusted and understand it is fantasy, it is just another activity for you. Porn is only destructive if you let it be so. Just like drug use, just like over eating, etc. I can watch porn five times in one day and then not watch it again for a week. It depends on my level of horniness, how busy my dating life is at the time, etc. Obviously the less success I'm having in dating, the more porn I'm going to watch. Again, it's an issue if you let it be an issue. I have been a part of PUA forums that thing refraining from porn/masturbation is some sort of magic pill cure to turn you into a complete stud but that's simply not true. Watch porn if you want to watch porn, and don't watch it it you don't want to. 1
Author Omaha Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Ugh. I watched porn tonight, only to not enjoy myself at all-- yeah, I just don't think it's my kind of thing anymore. Thanks to you guys for all your help.
jphcbpa Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 no I cant remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, but I can recall a porn scene I watched 25 years ago....something is wrong with that. it is not reality
Ann s Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Have sex with your girl. Create music Create art House chores Work out Read Etc. There are a million other things to do with your energy. Avoid compartmentalizing your sexual energy: it all comes from the same source. Use that energy for something that benefits you, or stimulates your mind or body. Do some research on the "No Fap" movement. It seems sort of isolated to bodybuilding circles at the moment, but I think you'll find that it applies directly to your situation. Glad you like the avi! Tim and Eric for life, cuz. I think this guy is saying everything I would have said.... lately i've been having the same issues with porn, and I know my boyfriend has as well. He's been consciously trying to not look at it as much (because I asked him to and because we both agree it is an addiction) and we are having more sex! Which is awesome! I'm trying to not push it to more than once a day... at least for now, cause he's been trying to now look at it for only a week now, but I've noticed he's had more energy, and been more appt to "start" the sex train with me than me, jumping his bones first all the time. So, what do i do when I'm not having sex but I've got the itch? WORKOUT! yup, going on a week now... and it's making me feel better physically, mentally and emotionally to not be constantly thinking about it. I suggested the same thing to my boyfriend but he's been redirecting that energy into video games... which is good but it sits himself up really close to his laptop, which is too easily accessible for my likeing. But, he's tryign so, we will go from here and see waht happens. Redirect that energy... it'll do you, yours, and your body good! 1
todreaminblue Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Porn for starters gives unrealistic expectations of what making love is all about, its edited sex......its mechanical devoid of anything but the physical act......some clubs will play porn 24/7 to excite the men into taking a hooker upstairs....truth is after sitting there watching porn those men are three minute wonders with professionals porn causes premature ejeculation which is exactly what is wanted, makes them want to spend more money to go again or make way for the next premature ejeculator.......porn causes major problems in the bedroom department........for lots of reasons...one is the distorted view of fantasy from reality...deb
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