Emilia Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Irony. Yes, that's exactly what this thread is doing, so if this guy is doing it, or people will when she removes from FB, that's par for the course. I think it was a bit much to remove from FB. There was never a gelled dating relationship, just a couple of dates, no sex. But no harm no foul and if OP honestly felt she needed to do that, then fine, but yes it could appear pouty or manipulative at this stage. Nobody ever notices in your circle when you remove someone from facebook. Really, no-one cares. I think people in general believe too much that the world revolves around them. It doesn't. No-one cares. 1
dasein Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Nobody ever notices in your circle when you remove someone from facebook. Really, no-one cares. I think people in general believe too much that the world revolves around them. It doesn't. No-one cares. Maybe you meant to say "in my circle" which is the only circle you can comment on broadly. We don't know how involved OP's circle is in social media or how many friends she has or their social dynamic. It certainly isn't "retarded" or "neurotic" to believe that removal from social media after a couple of dates and some back and forth could be perceived as pouty or manipulative, if only by the person removed, and he will surely know he was removed.
Author atlg8r Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 I'm sure he noticed. I unfollowed him on Instagram last week, and he texted me about it within an hour. I think one thing I'm seeing is that I tend to get too caught up too early on with one person. I was in a relationship for seven years, and I have never been "good at dating." I don't know how to not be excited over meeting someone I think is fantastic, ya know? So anyway, I inevitably will see him at church, and I'll be friendly. And then I guess just play things by ear and try not to be so excited the next time I meet a nice man. Ha.
dasein Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Well it seems you are developing a good attitude about this and know how to proceed. Who knows what result with this guy in the long run? I do still believe part of his waffling could be legit financial concerns, that is a huge stressor for people, have been there myself in the past, and it is always looming. If there is any normal doubt about proceeding or moving forward in dating, financial concerns can have big influence. Good luck moving forward. 1
Author atlg8r Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Well it seems you are developing a good attitude about this and know how to proceed. Who knows what result with this guy in the long run? I do still believe part of his waffling could be legit financial concerns, that is a huge stressor for people, have been there myself in the past, and it is always looming. If there is any normal doubt about proceeding or moving forward in dating, financial concerns can have big influence. Good luck moving forward. If I were totally honest several weeks ago, I'm probably not ready for this either. I was with the same guy for seven years and just moved out of our old apartment at the beginning of June. I met this guy only a week or so after my move. I'm certainly not hung up on my ex, but I'm probably in need of some single time, focusing on myself and getting MY finances in order. (Moves are expensive.) I decided to text him today. I just said that last night I was obviously hurt, but that if he wanted to be friends, I would be happy to call him one. I am not rushing to hang out with him or anything but would like to be friendly at church and not opposed to checking in once in awhile. We'll see what happens.
Maleficent Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I really don't see the point in keeping someone I want nothing to do with as FB friend just so people don't think I'm over-reacting. I mean really...
dasein Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 If I were totally honest several weeks ago, I'm probably not ready for this either. Agree you aren't ready in light of the recent past. For such a long term relationship, consider taking at least 6 months off, maybe more. Everyone is different, but after such a long term cohabitation, don't you want some time to reestablish yourself as an independent single before getting back into dating? I sure would for the peace and quiet alone. 1
Author atlg8r Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Agree you aren't ready in light of the recent past. For such a long term relationship, consider taking at least 6 months off, maybe more. Everyone is different, but after such a long term cohabitation, don't you want some time to reestablish yourself as an independent single before getting back into dating? I sure would for the peace and quiet alone. That's exactly what I wanted when I first moved. I was fully on board with just doing my own thing, taking care of myself and spending time with friends. But when I met him..... oooff! Wind got knocked out of me. lol He's pretty amazing in many ways. But....... I digress.
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