Wambo Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I'm in a bit of a difficult situation right now. I just skim over the facts. Aprox four years ago I became friends with a co worker who had shown signs she was interested in me. We became good friends but she had a boyfriend twenty years older than her and this is why I didn't want to meet up outside of work. I feared because we got along well, taking our friendship outside of work would cross the line and put us in a difficult situation. Last year our friendship became an emotional infedlity and I tried to get out of it by avoidiong her. Sadly she wouldn't leave me alone and NC failed. I tried again because I didn't believe she was aware what going on. This time I sent her a message detailing my concerns and why I want her to leave me alone. I always believed our friendship crossing the line was an accident and I wanted to save it. Six weeks after NC, I asked her for a private chat and I allowed her to tell her side of the story. She refused anything was going on between us and gave me simplistic answers. I didn't believe her because she was happy we were talking again and her answers contridict pre EA. However I thought I give LC a chance and see where it goes from there. So here is the problem Last week I came across her twitter page after doing a google search. It's a shame I didn't do this earlier. Basically it broke my heart to learn what actually been going on. Her boyfriend is a piece of sh*t btw. I wish I knew that earlier. * She moved out of her parents and got a mortgage with her boyfriend? This happened when I attempted NC the first time. * She was off for over a month due to an operation and tried to be friends again during my first NC. This why it failed. However at this time she was preparing to move into her own place. * Spending a lot of time with her boyfriend during our EA, she was very happy to see me and I never got to do those activity. * Any platonic in our friendship had gone during the EA. * Hiding how her relationship was progressing while using me. * I asked her for a few drinks. She lied saying she was away when she was still in town and just moved in her own place. At the moment she is unaware I had seen her twitter page. She had spoken to me a few times but I'm disgusted by the scale of the lies. I had to lock myself away for a day because I was so upset by the betrayal. So here are my options what to do next * is to confront her and asked her never to talk to me again. * Allow her to come clean and decide what to do. * Play dumb but be very cautious. There is an alternative way of looking at this. She didn't want to come clean because the extent of lies and what going on in the background is huge. She wanted to save our friendship and this is why she is giving me space. Then again I could be wrong. This is why I want other people opinions on the matter.
Author Wambo Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 So can anyone actually give me advice if I should try to save my friendship? Do I ignore the past and carry on LC? Confront her on the matter? or End the friendship for good?
Author Wambo Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 Our friendship was good and healthy for a number of years before it slid into an emotional affair. This is why I'm having difficulty accepting I may have to go full NC. As things stand right now our friendship is very fragile and never will be the same again. She even accepts that and keeping her space. Sometimes she comes to see me but I prefer to keep our conversation minimal. The other week I was actually going to comfront her over what i had found, but decided not to in the last minute. The only reason why because it didn't feel right pounching on her and demand her to come clean. In the end I feel like I am the one been cheated on. Her boyfriend is most likely slleping with her while I'm left conflicted what to do next.
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