Phoe Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 So you're saying I should go for women who I'm not attracted to? I'm not looking for model looks here and wouldn't want that for long term anyway. I want a girl who I think is cute. I hate using a rating scale but I'm looking for girls who are 6 or 7 or not 9 or 10. Most girls of normal weight who I see are 6s or 7s in my book. Go for whoever you like. Forget number scales.
Cracker Jack Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 So you're saying I should go for women who I'm not attracted to? I'm not looking for model looks here and wouldn't want that for long term anyway. I want a girl who I think is cute. I hate using a rating scale but I'm looking for girls who are 6 or 7 or not 9 or 10. Most girls of normal weight who I see are 6s or 7s in my book. First off, that poster has...identity issues, so it'd probably be best for you to ignore any "advice" he has to give. No, you don't need to go for women you aren't attracted to. That's ridiculous. If you're attracted to a woman, go for it. Seriously, stop thinking about your height--it's not an issue unless you continue to make it one. 2
Author JackDrc Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 I'll admit I'm guilty of looking at dating in terms of percentages too, but it's BAD! Because making percentages means you're basing all your calculations on assumptions. "assumptions" about what "most women" want. assumptions about what is or isn't acceptable for height, assumptions about status. Whenever you make assumptions you set yourself up to totally cast aside the women who fall outside of those parameters. The women who aren't all that fussed about height. The women who aren't fussed about status. And when you accidentally lump those women in with the rest (because of your assumptions) you lose out on a great opportunity! It's pretty likely that women are not great at judging height. I personally don't try to guess a man's height because I'll probably be off and really, what's it matter whether he's 5'10 or 5'11, or 5'7 or 5'8? meh. Yes I am trying to stay away from assumptions, but I'm basing this and what the girls have told me . My opportunities to meet women in social circles are limited at the time due to med school. I'm generally unwilling to pursue dating my classmates and all of my buds in this geographic area are my classmates. We go to bars on weekends but I've always thought that's not a very good place to meet women. I should also mention that I have a baby face. I'm 30 but most people think O am between 21 to 24. I get carded along with my early 20s classmates when we go out and I wonder if the fact that I look like I could still be in college is hurting me with the online dating. I'm not sure how girls my age feel about it. I'm definitely not lumping all women together. I know that there have to be a quite a few girls out there who would have no problem with my height but I wonder if these girls are actually on dating sites. I know that men outnumber women by a significant margin on these sites and because women receive far more initial messages than guys due to guys being the pursuing gender, they can be very picky in my opinion. I don't hold this against them. I might be picky too if I had that option.
MrCastle Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Yes I am trying to stay away from assumptions, but I'm basing this and what the girls have told me . My opportunities to meet women in social circles are limited at the time due to med school. I'm generally unwilling to pursue dating my classmates and all of my buds in this geographic area are my classmates. We go to bars on weekends but I've always thought that's not a very good place to meet women. I should also mention that I have a baby face. I'm 30 but most people think O am between 21 to 24. I get carded along with my early 20s classmates when we go out and I wonder if the fact that I look like I could still be in college is hurting me with the online dating. I'm not sure how girls my age feel about it. I'm definitely not lumping all women together. I know that there have to be a quite a few girls out there who would have no problem with my height but I wonder if these girls are actually on dating sites. I know that men outnumber women by a significant margin on these sites and because women receive far more initial messages than guys due to guys being the pursuing gender, they can be very picky in my opinion. I don't hold this against them. I might be picky too if I had that option. That's the difference here. Online dating is terrible if you are average height or shorter, or a non white. It just is. The numbers back it up. I tell you what I tell every single guy that makes this thread--particularly as it relates to OLD. Go outside, bro. You will always do better in real life than you will online dating. No matter who you are. I am shorter than you by several inches, and it's never been an issue...in real life.
soccerrprp Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I should also mention that I have a baby face. I'm 30 but most people think O am between 21 to 24. I get carded along with my early 20s classmates when we go out and I wonder if the fact that I look like I could still be in college is hurting me with the online dating. I'm not sure how girls my age feel about it. Okay, so now you've introduced another possible element to your problems. Could it be more than your height? I'm definitely not lumping all women together. I know that there have to be a quite a few girls out there who would have no problem with my height but I wonder if these girls are actually on dating sites. Yes, yes, yes. Women who have no problems with height do exist. (Maybe not in NYC )
GorillaTheater Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 A temporary bump in the road. A man who's going to be a doctor, is in shape, is going to be a doctor, has a personality, and is going to be a doctor has nothing to worry about long-term. 2
soccerrprp Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 A temporary bump in the road. A man who's going to be a doctor, is in shape, is going to be a doctor, has a personality, and is going to be a doctor has nothing to worry about long-term. Hey Gorilla, Did you mention that he's going to be a doctor? 1
soccerrprp Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 His being 5'9'' will hurt him some, but mostly among the most attractive who may demand their guy be a 6 footer. QUOTE] Hey, doc! One other thing my experience shows is that most women prefer much taller men than themselves. But, that is a preference. Most of the women I dated wanted men taller than myself and that's not hard to do, right? But once they gave me the chance and got to know me, well, that preference went out the window. Go after the ladies you find attractive. Some will respond and overlook their sometimes insane height requirements. 1
Philosopher Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 5 9 is not that short, so it may be that you have been really unlucky and have just happened to date / message women who are really picky about height. I would continue to persevere and try and not get too bothered about it, eventually you find someone is isn't so picky about height.
thefooloftheyear Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Think about it... You have opverweight, ugly women with asses like Salvation Army sofa's and minimum wage jobs, claiming they want a 6'3" Adonis with a 6 pack and a trust fund.. And you are giving this crap(OLD) credibility?? Really.. TFY
KatZee Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Honestly, I highly doubt you're not getting dates/call backs because you're 5'9. You're actually slightly above average. There's got to be something else going on that's turning off potential partners. I'm 5'5 and I prefer a guy who's 5'9/10. Perfect height for me to wear heels without me having to strain my neck trying to hug or kiss you.
KungFuJoe Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Have you tried growing? I mean...let's exhaust all our options before we throw in the towel. 2
soccerrprp Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 All right, but the problem here is if he's never given that chance. He will lose some at 5'9'' but he won't lose too many. Does he have a trait that most women find as a deal breaker? Not sure. If he doesn't he's good to go. if he does, he could be cooked. As someone with multiple mega deal breakers it's next to impossible to get past a coffee date. I hear you, man. I'm simply saying that there are women who will give him the chance regardless of their preferences, if height is the ONLY issue he seems to think prevents him from meeting women.
Phoe Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 He will lose some at 5'9'' but he won't lose too many. Does he have a trait that most women find as a deal breaker? Not sure. If he doesn't he's good to go. if he does, he could be cooked. Which is, in a nutshell, EXACTLY what we all are getting at By providing him with multiple examples of the fact that 5'9 is not at all shabby, we're opening the door to him considering other factors to work on. He already mentioned the age factor, who he socializes with, and the scenes he tends to socialize in. They could be contributing factors, so it's good for him to consider them! 1
Author JackDrc Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 A temporary bump in the road. A man who's going to be a doctor, is in shape, is going to be a doctor, has a personality, and is going to be a doctor has nothing to worry about long-term. What kind of man would want to be with a woman whose interest in him stems from his profession, let alone a higher status/higher income profession? I wouldn't want a girl who'd be interested in a serious relationship with me if I was a doctor but not if I was an accountant. That relationship would seem ncedinly likely to fail. I don't list my future profession on my online dating profiles for precisely this reason. I list my occupation as grad school. If I put down med school (or in 3 years if I'm putting doctor), don't you think it is going to attract women for the wrong reasons? Girls usually ask on the first date and I say that I'm in med school.
hoping2heal Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 The problem isn't your height. Stop chasing after shallow women. Yes, you have to be attracted to the person but give me an effing break. There are plenty of good looking, educated, and ambitious women who you could date that are not so shallow they are going to check you off the list just because you're 5"10 ( or 5"6, 5"7, 5"8, etc.) You can only tell so much from an online profile and I get that; but the really shallow people usually make it obvious. You're a smart man, read between the lines. 2
KungFuJoe Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Wanting a specific physical characteristic is not anymore shallow than wanting someone who is smart. 1
Author JackDrc Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 Think about it... You have opverweight, ugly women with asses like Salvation Army sofa's and minimum wage jobs, claiming they want a 6'3" Adonis with a 6 pack and a trust fund.. And you are giving this crap(OLD) credibility?? Really.. TFY Not sure I understand your post . I mean I sense sarcasm but if those women are demanding that then I don't see how that helps me. You're saying my height wasn't a problem for the ones who stated it was? Why not lie . If I go on a date with a woman who has used old pictures and shows up looking much heavier than in the photos, I lie to her like I should. I act like nothin's wrong, pay for the drinks, spend a couple hours, then leave and don't contact her again. If she contacts me then I tell her that I enjoyed spending time with her but didn't feel like we clicked. I thought this was what most men and women do if contacted after first dates and uninterested. So when a woman says I'm just too short after our first date then of course I'm going to take it seriously, when they could have just said they don't think we clicked. Am I that weird?
hppr Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 This is ridiculous. I really doubt how true this story is. Women tell you straight up that you are too short even though you are 5'9 Perfectly believable online, I'm 5'11 and had women say that to me a few times. Ironically it was always the really short girls, like 5'-5'4", they are always trying to overcompensate I guess. Solution to the OP's problem = don't date online. 30yr old jewish med student you should have no problems dating in the real-life yuppie city scene.
PJKino Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Usually women want a man 5 inches taller or more so she can wear heels and still be shorter,so if youre only a few inches taller then a women you better be perfect in every other way if you want a shot and still alot wont give you a chance. At five seven and a half i dont approach women unless shes around 5'2
Simon Phoenix Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 It's not your height that's turning women off. The height thing is a scapegoating excuse for another thing that's turning them off. I'm 5'10 (ok, 5'9 3/4 probably) and I've never had women bring up my height as a negative. My last girlfriend was 5'8 (she loved wearing heels or tip-toeing so she could be taller than me) and while I'm not big into the online dating thing per se, almost every girl I've ever dated online has been in the 5'8 to 6'0 range (I'm drawn to taller women in general). I've dated girls from 5'1 to 6'1 in my life and not once was my height an issue. Are there some girls that care about that? I'm sure there are, and in my experience in online dating, they'll be more than upfront about it in their profile. They'll give a specific height requirement. And if I don't fit it, I won't message them. People like what they like. But yeah, I've seen plenty of guys your height or shorter have no problem with women no matter how tall the women are. It's not the height that's bringing you down (pun somewhat intended). 1
Simon Phoenix Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Perfectly believable online, I'm 5'11 and had women say that to me a few times. Ironically it was always the really short girls, like 5'-5'4", they are always trying to overcompensate I guess. Solution to the OP's problem = don't date online. 30yr old jewish med student you should have no problems dating in the real-life yuppie city scene. Yep, most girls that I've noticed that have height requirements are either really short or 6-feet plus. Generally girls who are 5'6, to name a random height, don't give a crap either way.
PJKino Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Height is important to women more than some admit but not this important. being short isn't always a deal breaker and being tall isn't a deal maker. Theyres excpetions to every rule but short men have it much harder as a whole.. I think some women loosen their height requeirments as they get older and their options dry up and the bioligical clocks ticking and they realize that tall handsome guy isnt happening..
MrCastle Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Usually women want a man 5 inches taller or more so she can wear heels and still be shorter,so if youre only a few inches taller then a women you better be perfect in every other way if you want a shot and still alot wont give you a chance. At five seven and a half i dont approach women unless shes around 5'2 You should approach who you like. Not who you think will like you.
Author JackDrc Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 Some will hold out for a 6 footer, and more than will admit it. Been told by several that they love my height of 6'3'' and how they want a guy 6 feet or higher but won't say it publicly! alas, I'm overweight and have no sex/relationship experience at 34, which are bad deal breakers. Does he some bad deal breakers too? Yup I see so many profiles of women looking for guys 6'+. Almost all on match list at least 5'10. are people telling me to message them when i dont meet their requirements? It is stated in their profile, therefore it is important. Doesn't mean that ones who don't list it won't have a problem with 5'9, but the ones who list it certainly do. Almost all are looking for 5'10+ guys. I know others (Phoe) are saying this isnt the problem, and that's kind of them, but why would these women have told me the height is a dealbreaker if it isn't. Why not just do the usual fib of lack of spark or not being compatible. Listen, if I hadn't heard this from women via message or after first dates, I NEVER would have made this thread, because I would have had no idea. i made it because I'm going on what they told me. Telling someone their height is a problem when it isn't the real problem is incredibly cruel, and I have too much faith in people to believe that women would do that.
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