whydidhecallme Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I'm really confused and need help figuring this out.. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months..and he is great wondeful, ambitous, we never fight, everything is perfect. I have never thought about cheating and have met many men since I have been with him and never once felt even a little bit ineterested. My boyfriend is away for 4 months right now though, but we agreed to stay together while he is away. Well, all that has changed and my perfect world is so upside down right now. An ex of mine called out of the blue saying that he was sorry for everything he put me through and that he was stupid for letting me go. That he hasn't stopped thinking about me and that he would like to see me again. At first I thought wow, i haven't even thought about this guy at all and he's been thining about me...We only went out for a month me and this guy and then one day he just started acting really weird and just dissappeared? Never heard from him again. Well we spoke that day and he explained the missing pieces to the story and now I understand everything that happened. Before he was a little immature and still growing up but now I feel like if he a whole different person. He's so different. Well, we talked that day, and the next, and the next and now he is all I can think about. I talk to my boyfriend and can't wait to hang up and call my ex back. I know It's not right and yet there is this unseen force that makes me call him and pick up when he calls and talk to him for hours about anything. He wants to see me in person but I don't think I can do it because of the feelings Im getting. Then we talk online now all the time and I feel like a teenager when I see his name come on. We talk all day online then all night when I get home. I don't know what I'm doing. My boyfriend is smart, goodlooking, and in love with me and is going places in his life..the ex on the other hand is a bum, looking for a job, and a complete mess...but he makes me laugh. I want to stop talking to him I really do but I can't stop and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm just floating along right now but I know that if I keep it up its going to all blow up in my face and I will end up alone. But even if nothing comes out of this my world is still upside down because for 10 months I was sooo sure of something and so positive I was in love and wanted to be with my boyfriend and now this guy comes along and I have all these feelings???? So I don't know what to think and the fact I can't see my boyfriend for 4 months is not helping. Any advice can help?
2ndConfusedfemale Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Did you tell the guy that you have a boyfriend?
Jilly10340 Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 If a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, it doesn't take him 10 months to realize that and call you back. You're current bf sounds great and sounds like he really loves you, and your ex disappeared after a month of being with you. Is this decision really so hard? It looks pretty clear to me. I understand how you feel. You've been with someone for 10 months, he's going to be gone for awhile, you're a little lonely and the ex shows up. He pays attention to you, compliments you, etc. It's new and wrong which makes it kind of exiciting....but take my advice....the excitement wears off. The excitement wears off because, like you said, he's a bum and doesn't have a job. And most of all, he's a mess!!!!! We do not go out with complete messes, I don't care how funny he is! Keep the bf, realize you have a good thing going, and send Mr. Bum Without a Job packing!
EC Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I agree with Jilly.... You have a BF now that loves you and wants to be with you and he leaves for four months and you are already having doubts. The other is a Bum and you said it and like they always say he is an ex for a reason. I think you are lonely now and you just like the attention your ex is giving you and it does feel exciting and wrong and after being with someone for 10 months you like that change. But think about this this guy did leave after one month and now he wants to come back? Your boyfriend has stuck by you for 10 months and everything is still perfect and that hasn't worn off. I think you should just stop all contact with this ex and step away from the temptation. Making you laugh isn't everything. You can't live off of just laughs. Doesn't your bf make you laugh? Step away from the temptation and stay true to your bf.
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 He prob. heard that your b/f is away and decided to come and make a move to see if you'd be with him. You need to decide WHO you love. Then once you decide, stick to that decision. Good luck.
250r Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Sounds like the exboyfriend already blew his chance. Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with potential over someone who has already had a chance and blown it?
Karlise13 Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 of the 'one who got away' the one we couldn't 'get' to love us. the one who dissed us, dismissed us, made us feel like **** There's always something slightly sexy, irresistable about 'getting him back'. Here's the truth: You're not confused. You already know he's a bum and your current BF is great. You just want the chance to 'redo' things. It's an ego trip, that's all. I think going for this guy is a recipe for DISASTER. Why give up something good for somebody who shows up a day late and a dollar short? He's full of explanations and excuses. Explanations and excuses are cheap. Your trust and respect should be earned over time and with actions. Tell him to beat it
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