Trying too hard? Women just leave and stop contact without closure

[lover4721]

Story is below, but I want to know if I'm being too friendly, or maybe coming off as too needy by being too available. Women just randomly leave without any closure.

 

I was text messaging this gorgeous girl all night. I didn't even have negative emotions that night. I literally felt like I was dreaming maybe. I was not overthinking about my recent relationship or anything.

 

So we were talking, she was telling me how she loves the boyfriend being close to her family because I told her that is who I was. I was close to my ex's family. She also said she hasn't had a guy to buy her anything... I was shocked.

 

She also mentioned that this guy she was with constantly fights with her, plays her, etc. I told her some relationships are built on hate. She put that up as a status 2 minutes after I said that. She also put "Maybe that's why I hate you."

 

She asked to add me on Facebook because it would be easier. I did, and told her about my college career. She said she was going to stay local but she can't stand living at home. She said she can't wait to get out of town and

 

I said "can't wait to drift further away from me! I understand! haha"

 

She said "sorry :/"

I said "It's alright!"

She sad "I'm so in love with my house though"

I said "Oh yeah? How come? The one in Altoona?"

She said "yeah I am excited."

NOTE: From that message, I knew there was something going on. She usually puts smiley faces in messages.

I said "That's good!"

She said "mhm"

 

So... that was our Facebook conversation lol. Pretty depressing. When Facebook arrived, she stopped messaging me and I feel like her attraction for me stopped. It isn't from any posts on FB, or photos. She saw me on a site before Facebook.

 

I said goodnight to her through text messaging, and I haven't heard anything since then.

 

She also noted that she falls VERY hard for guys and that makes them run away. Now with me, I like that. I like being shown to people and talked about because I know that I mean something to them. So maybe she is pushing herself away from me?

 

This girl was the most prettiest girl I have ever talked to. Now that being she ignored me plain out of sight, I am fully discouraged. Like... she was beautiful. I don't see myself getting anywhere with women because they all just stop texting and ignore me.

 

Maybe she doesn't want to be 2 hours away from her boyfriend? Right now, we are maybe 40 miles away.

 

I'm not sure what went wrong, but this ALWAYS happens at times. It always happens with girls that I like... with girls that I don't necessarily like more than friends, they end up liking me.

 

Am I trying too hard? Maybe I'm seeking them to like me and not being myself? I don't play games. All I want to do is talk to them. Not ignore them and play games like people say. They said "Message her, when she replies, you don't reply. It gets them everytime." I also seen a site where someone said that, and about 10 other guys said it worked. Not one said it didn't work for them. I don't play games like that though, but maybe this is something I need to do? Stop being too friendly? Maybe I'm too available for them and that seems needy?

 

 

I always get the line "You deserve someone better than me."

Oh, and this girl also has someone I think she is currently still seeing but not in a relationship with. So maybe I'm the guy she comes running to when she is lonely? Who knows, but I need to figure this out because this has always been happening.

 

And even if I do change my behavior with women, how could I maybe relay this to her? Like seriously... I was completely physically attracted to her and now she's gone.

Like it would be cool if she wasn't interested, but how do I know that? She wasn't upfront with me.

Should I maybe message her?

Edited July 11, 2013 by lover4721

[ChatroomHero]

I get this a lot. With my ex-fiancé she I would text or call her and it was like she was trying hard to ignore me and not respond. When people message or call me I am pretty prompt about following up or answering. So with her, I decided to not respond to texts for at least a few hours. From the first time I did that I would receive a text or a call within 15 minutes asking, what's going on, why didn't you answer....so there is some truth to being too available I think.

 

It sounds like she falls hard for men she cannot get for whatever reason...unavailable men. She likes the thrill of the chase and what she can't have, but you she knows she can have at the drop of the hat.

 

I think maybe you might be able to indicate that she cannot exactly have you at the drop of a hat, you need to become a little unattainable to her. It might up her interest level. I have a feeling if you met someone else and told her you were going on a date, you'd get 50 messages asking about it and wanting details...

 

I think that's why people you are not attracted to get so interested. You passively relay to them that you are not highly interested and it ups their interest. Imagine her having a huge mole on her neck or something that repulsed you. You'd still be nice and friendly but also give of a vibe to her that you could do better and she would be lucky to have you.

[StarsOnFire]

. It isn't from any posts on FB, or photos. She saw me on a site before Facebook.

 

I dunno, seems like something on your page turned her off. There's probably lots more pictures, and you get a better sense of a person. Maybe she went thru your status' and didn't like what she saw.

 

Or maybe her friend came over and she went to go do something else. How long has it been since you talked? Are you sure you're not just reading into her lack of smilie faces?

[lover4721]

I get this a lot. With my ex-fiancé she I would text or call her and it was like she was trying hard to ignore me and not respond. When people message or call me I am pretty prompt about following up or answering. So with her, I decided to not respond to texts for at least a few hours. From the first time I did that I would receive a text or a call within 15 minutes asking, what's going on, why didn't you answer....so there is some truth to being too available I think.

 

It sounds like she falls hard for men she cannot get for whatever reason...unavailable men. She likes the thrill of the chase and what she can't have, but you she knows she can have at the drop of the hat.

 

I think maybe you might be able to indicate that she cannot exactly have you at the drop of a hat, you need to become a little unattainable to her. It might up her interest level. I have a feeling if you met someone else and told her you were going on a date, you'd get 50 messages asking about it and wanting details...

 

I think that's why people you are not attracted to get so interested. You passively relay to them that you are not highly interested and it ups their interest. Imagine her having a huge mole on her neck or something that repulsed you. You'd still be nice and friendly but also give of a vibe to her that you could do better and she would be lucky to have you.

 

You're right on with the 50 messages part. Even on dating sites... you change your status from single to seeing someone, and you then get 100 messages and visitors.

 

I just need to correct whatever is going on with my behavior (unconscious) of being too available. I did however, write a good lengthy message on FB talking about my career. That is why she wanted to move on to facebook because of her small phone.

 

I don't feel like playing the unattainable game. :/ I'm very open and I don't enjoy playing these mind games.

 

I dunno, seems like something on your page turned her off. There's probably lots more pictures, and you get a better sense of a person. Maybe she went thru your status' and didn't like what she saw.

 

Or maybe her friend came over and she went to go do something else. How long has it been since you talked? Are you sure you're not just reading into her lack of smilie faces?

 

It could be! Her pictures on the dating / friend site, looked less attractive than the ones on her Facebook. After she added me, I was like "Woah, the prettiest girl on Earth."

 

It's been about 12 hours. I just said Goodnight to her at about 1:45 (and it's 1:43PM now) and hasn't messaged me. Maybe she senses I'm busy? That is not what I'm worrying about. I'm really wondering if she lost interest during the Facebook messages. :/ She never said a one word reply to me like "mhm". She had one, which was "Lol" but then she said after "I LOVE when the guy is close to my family..." etc.

 

I think once, I stopped replying and she said something after that. But we were talking and my messages were fair in length. I don't know. I'm trying to get another set of eyes to see the problem.

Edited July 11, 2013 by lover4721

[lover4721]

Also, this happened just a few days ago too...

 

Ever since my last thread about the coworker girl, I've moved on and honestly, I've had a lot of people wanting to talk to me. For some unknown reason... they just get prettier and prettier too. Like models, especially this one above.

 

But this other girl, we were talking and she was busy one day and said she missed me! I said I missed her too!

 

She also didn't reply with a long message or anything, and I was like "Woah I'm shocked. You didn't say much!"

 

I finally got the energy to message her with realizing maybe she doesn't like me, so I won't play the ignore game and wait for her to message me, I'll message her.

 

Ever since she said "... I apologize. I was busy." - I said "It's alright."

 

She hasn't messaged me, for about a day now.

 

I don't want to wait for them to message me. I want to message them and ask how their day is going, what they're doing, etc.

[Lansing]

You have way too much invested in a girl that you haven't even met in person yet (and haven't even talked on the phone yet??)... You should just keep meeting new people and not invest so much at an early stage without meeting someone.

[lover4721]

You have way too much invested in a girl that you haven't even met in person yet (and haven't even talked on the phone yet??)... You should just keep meeting new people and not invest so much at an early stage without meeting someone.

 

I agree actually. As you can tell, I invest time into all girls I meet. Look at old threads.

 

I just enjoying talking to people... and not much investing too much time with people, but I enjoy having someone to talk to and I am always trying to find someone to talk to. It's not like I posted a bunch of statuses about her, OR really specified how much I like them. I'm a people person... a big people person. I go to carnivals just to be around people. Having someone that cares about me (all of us feel this) is comforting... and I am a bit eager to find it. :/

 

 

 

She might be stalking my profile. lol. She is online and no one has had a problem with my one old cover photo, of a song where two people find each other randomly and dance together. The one girl takes off her shirt and dances. It doesn't show nudity, but you can definitely see her stomach area. No one has ever had an issue with my cover photo, and it's old. Plus, the girl is online too, and no one else is on that would report it. If anything, it would be here exploring my profile since we haven't talked for a while.

[ChatroomHero]

Hey, you wouldn't be playing an "unavailable" game so much as making a statement that you're in demand a little, and show her you're not just going to put her on a pedestal. Nothing wrong with "selling" yourself as someone worth working for.

[Kamille]

Wow. She "has" someone. She sounds like drama.

 

You've never met her? You're over-investing. That is likely why she disappeared.

 

I think the two things are linked. You're likely looking for an intense kind of romantic love - and the situation has you having to prove yourself better than her current love in it. Oh how romantic. It also allows you to over-invest.

 

But admit it. Rationally, you knew from the get go the odds were against you. Not because of how hot this girl is, but because she "has" someone.

 

There's a good chance you're not actually looking for a relationship - but rather a fantasy. Hence the "the ones I like don't like me- the ones who like me, meh" sentiment you expressed.

[lover4721]

I actually had no idea that she was fighting with her ex and repeatedly with him and off.

 

She hates her ex and is trying to move on but said She feels amazing when with him.

 

So I was not trying to beat this other guy because I just found out about a few messages before we went over to Facebook.

What's with this fantasy idea? Haha is it just easy to say we want a fantasy? I don't understand why that term is being thrown around on here.

 

Explain.

[Kamille]

Fantasy: You're more invested in what could be than what actually is.

 

You do know, now, that this woman has a complicated relationship with some guy.

 

So why are you still into her?

 

Unless you love drama, move on.

[lover4721]

Yeah I have moved on but appreciate that I am taking the time to correct my behavior and not drowning myself into pity over a loss of a girl I haven't even met.

 

Thanks for the help, but maybe this subject just isn't for you.

[RebelWithoutACause]

How long did you know her for before you had that night chat? Because if you just met her that same night, then the question should be not why she disappeared, but why do you care.

[lover4721]

How long did you know her for before you had that night chat? Because if you just met her that same night, then the question should be not why she disappeared, but why do you care.

 

I don't really mind that she left, but I care because I look back at myself when people leave and then I wonder what I am doing wrong and I will then push myself from intimate relationships. I blame it all on myself. She can have him all she wants - that doesnt bother me. She accepted the love she thought she deserved. I came on here to ask people what I may be doing wrong that is pushing them away.

 

And yes, same night. I'm wondering what I am doing wrong that may be driving people away.

 

I dont want this to keep happening. We enjoyed each other and I don't want to find someone else and have it happen again lol it sucks. So maybe I'll just not invest everything at first.

Edited July 11, 2013 by lover4721

[colombiana28]

She's emotionally unavailable. I would know, because I am too. I would run so fast from you. It's the feeling of discomfort that arises when you realize a man is placing you on a pedestal and there's no way to extract yourself from the situation without hurting him. You seem intense and to emotionally unavailable people you come across as needy. Why does she like her ex and keep going back to him? He's emotionally unavailable too, and it's like a drug, the roller coaster ride is what she craves. She has the lows (she "hates" him!) but also the highs. She doesn't want the nice, stable man who treats her well, she wants the drama because drama makes her panties wet. My advice is: either learn to play these "games" you hate so much, or go for emotionally available and mentally grounded women who appreciate a boyfriend like yourself and do not want any drama.

[lover4721]

She's emotionally unavailable. I would know, because I am too. I would run so fast from you. It's the feeling of discomfort that arises when you realize a man is placing you on a pedestal and there's no way to extract yourself from the situation without hurting him. You seem intense and to emotionally unavailable people you come across as needy. Why does she like her ex and keep going back to him? He's emotionally unavailable too, and it's like a drug, the roller coaster ride is what she craves. She has the lows (she "hates" him!) but also the highs. She doesn't want the nice, stable man who treats her well, she wants the drama because drama makes her panties wet. My advice is: either learn to play these "games" you hate so much, or go for emotionally available and mentally grounded women who appreciate a boyfriend like yourself and do not want any drama.

 

So basically, it may not be something I'm doing wrong and she's just trying to avoid getting hurt and hurting someone else because she isn't emotionally available?

Sounds like it! I always blame it on myself.

[colombiana28]

So basically, it may not be something I'm doing wrong and she's just trying to avoid getting hurt and hurting someone else because she isn't emotionally available?

Sounds like it! I always blame it on myself.

 

yup. the only thing you do wrong is fall for the wrong people.

[lover4721]

yup. the only thing you do wrong is fall for the wrong people.

 

Also, thanks for not making me feel like it was my personal problem. Maybe they just don't want to be 'ready' and to settle down for someone yet. She likes the emotional high, fighting to only resolve later to hear "I couldn't live without you" to gain importance, like it was described in developmental psychology, and communication conflicts with couples. Very good classes. I have a lot of wisdom and a ton of advice, but rarely can I use it myself. This is also why Psychologists have therapists, because they cannot apply their own knowledge and advice, without someone seeing it more clear than the person having issues.

 

So where are all the emotionally available women? Seems like this world has a bunch of game players, cheaters, and those who aren't looking for a generous boyfriend.

 

I'm wanting to find someone special, that I could appreciate, get to know, and talk to. I'm doing that... but I feel like it isn't enough. The absence of games make the relationship (not intimate - friends) feel weak.

 

Maybe I'm putting too much time and investing too much into the early relationship, but how do I avoid that without having to ignore her? Maybe I'm better off trying to find someone that enjoys talking and needs someone emotionally close? I'm kinda still stuck, but thank you for all the advice, everyone.

 

Like, this bothers me... okay, so I don't want to easily give up on a possible relationship. So how do I know it can't be fixed? Maybe I led this girl to believe I didn't want to talk?

 

I don't want to randomly walk away from a situation when it can be fixed. I'd be doing the VERY same that she is doing, and you guys would all be giving her advice and saying I'm playing the game, and giving me advice saying she is playing the game. Basically, we both are playing games and are not emotionally available, to what you guys know... Maybe this is not the case. Maybe I have done something wrong that she didn't enjoy?

 

So is it safe to easily walk away from a situation? I think that is just building my life with regrets. I'm stressed because I'm over-thinking and wondering if it was my problem, OR if it was her fault. I have no closure. IF she said "I need to work things out with my ex who keeps bugging me", I'd be happy to walk away. Like, maybe she doesn't want to get close to me because of her past? So how do I know it is safe to walk away, without doing what they do to me (walking away without closure)?

 

I apologize for the long and dumb thread!

 

Like, an example.

 

WE overthink badly. How do I know I'm not just overthinking and thinking "time to move on, she isn't emotionally ready" when she IS ready, but something else being wrong?

Edited July 11, 2013 by lover4721

[lover4721]

Like maybe she is seeing if I actually do want to talk to her so she is pushing away and wanting me to prove that I do want to talk and get to know her. She was the one who messaged me first basically.

So I don't want to act like any other guy and ignore her. I dont want her to label me as just another guy, because I make no effort to talk.

 

It happened a while ago. This girl wanted me to make the effort to talk. I didn't and then had her friend label me as another ordinary guy. See where I am getting from?

 

Maybe this calls for an easy solution like making an effort. If I don't, then I'll never know? You know what I mean?

 

And I was the one to stop that conversation too. I didn't reply after her "mhm".

Edited July 11, 2013 by lover4721

[Kamille]

Yeah I have moved on but appreciate that I am taking the time to correct my behavior and not drowning myself into pity over a loss of a girl I haven't even met.

 

Thanks for the help, but maybe this subject just isn't for you.

 

Duly noted young man. Best of luck in your romantic endeavours.

[lover4721]

Duly noted young man. Best of luck in your romantic endeavours.

 

I wasn't happy with seeing what you said, but I got over it quickly and went to edit the post, and it didn't work. I was on my phone and the thing was just typing a bunch of random letters. This is also why I wrote, "Maybe this just isn't for you." lol

 

I do appreciate your help, and didn't entirely mean what I said. I apologize.

 

Thanks though!

I learned a lot and that's what matters. Hopefully I'll find someone else (rare) and be able to change my behavior and see how things work.

Edited July 12, 2013 by lover4721

[RebelWithoutACause]

I'm stressed because I'm over-thinking and wondering if it was my problem, OR if it was her fault. I have no closure.

 

You don't need closure from someone you've only known for 5 hours. You really don't. And yes, you are way overthinking it. What "happened" between you and this girl doesn't warrant more than 5 min of your time.

[lover4721]

You don't need closure from someone you've only known for 5 hours. You really don't. And yes, you are way overthinking it. What "happened" between you and this girl doesn't warrant more than 5 min of your time.

I do because I blame myself for pushing her away. How would you feel if every guy you talked to, you pushed away and they left and you thought maybe you did something wrong that can be fixed to prevent it from happening in the future?

 

Like we all want to be liked. I'm liked but by people I don't want to be intimate with. If someone doesn't like me, maybe I can correct that. Hard to explain. I know not everyone will like me, but maybe I have a trait they don't like that I can correct. And that is why I'm here. I had this one girl really interested. She texted me apologizing for not replying because she was busy. I said it was alright. Once, I went out of my way to text her, and she didn't seem happy with it and I was like "Wow, I didn't expect you to just write hey." She is always very happy and the 'hey' didn't seem like she wanted to talk. She got mad and said "... I apologize. I was busy." I replied and she hasn't messaged me back. Now what is confusing is, do I message her and annoy her? OR, simply don't message her, so then I don't feel too needy or too available. This is why I said I need closure because I don't know if she simply doesn't like that I don't message her, OR if she wants to find someone else.

 

So the other girl that was interested and stop texting, I messaged her. I went out of my comfort zone of not getting hurt, and I messaged her. If she doesn't reply, I'd be very hurt but I won't bother her. I'll just walk away if she doesn't reply. Then she will know I don't want to bother her if she is busy, but want to talk. So I'll probably get rejected and hurt, but whatever I guess. I haven't met her but I feel like complete shi* when I get turned down. I feel like I'm not up to her standards... but once, she did like me. I just won't expect her to like me. I'm kinda hoping she doesn't text back, so then I'll know to close this friendship. If she does text back, I'll be wondering if I kind of pressured her into it, wondering if she does want to talk or not. Idk. I over-think every possible thing and I prepare for every thing that *may* happen.

Edited July 12, 2013 by lover4721

[lover4721]

I've never had this much bad luck in my life. Absolutely never.

 

I've been a very relaxed guy, not needy, and not playing women on pedestals.

 

I keep getting ignored. It has come to the point now where I absolutely don't want women anymore.

 

A lot of these girls are messaging me, right? When they do, they end up liking me. It has always forever in my life been that way.

 

I took all of everyone's advice, and watched what I said to women to not say anything too needy or create this 'fantasy' in my head, and I haven't placed them on pedestals. Now this whole week, I have talked to about 6-7 women. Each and every single one of them is currently deleted off of my phone because they do not show any interest or never reply. They ALL showed a meaningful amount of interest beforehand, but now have shown none.

 

This one said she forgot to hit send, yesterday. Then she didn't reply one night. I just said hi to her, asking her what she's been up to, and she said she was going to bed.

I SHOULD have stopped replying there, right? Most definitely. It is clear and very obvious that this girl isn't interested, when she felt very interested beforehand.

 

I said I won't bother her anymore, and wished her goodnight.

 

She didn't reply, but I screwed up, right? I'm pretty sure he did.

 

But I am not enjoying the advice that I have gotten on here. It has ruined everything. I am going to be my confident self, happy, talkative, and interested in other people. Not this guy that acts like he has no time to talk to people and are 'busy' with other things, and not willing to show interest in someone. I believe it is my lack of interest. I feel like another douchebag trying to be someone I'm not, in lieu to attracting them.

 

Advice to other guys, be confident, don't be dependent and be yourself. Show interest in getting to know people.

 

Being this guy who wants to 'attract women' is kinda pointless, unless I'm doing it wrong.

 

EDIT:

 

READ this!

 

 

Okay, so the guy above, was the more irritated me from just getting ignored lately. I apologize! This 'anger' and irritated state kinda showed me to let go off these girls I've been having issues with. I kinda see a little more clearly, so just ignore that above. Definitely not the person I am.

 

 

Someone said most women like interesting conversations and I need to spike things up a bit. This is true... but the initial person this whole thread was for, kinda ran off because I believe I was writing too much (as you can tell that I do. I ramble on texting a person. It is sad.). How do I have a conversation, funny and not boring, but also nothing that will throw them off?

 

Thinking about, the two girls that like were in love with me, had a lot of dialogue between us. Like we talked about interesting things... Most women are turned off by a lot of text. I can't find the sweet spot!

 

Also, how is it that girls I don't like, always like me. And girls I DO like, never like me. This shows that I treat them differently.

 

Any logic?

 

This girl I know messaged me out of the blues, and I told her to look for guys wanting a relationship so she doesn't get hurt, because I told her about finding someone who is emotionally available because I keep finding people who play games. But she said 'Ewwww no that's a turn off.'

 

Maybe I just need to stop looking for a relationship, and just like live it up. Maybe I'm too nice and too available, and maybe that throws them off thinking I'm some weird ass person or some douche.

Ideas?

 

Maybe I am looking for a relationship too badly (and this is throwing them off) because this girl I've known for years, was talking and I told her that women are the very last thing on my checklist. I had a Facebook status up and she saw it and decided to message me, the first time in months.

 

But she knows how I felt with women and how I am not looking for a relationship. She is all flirty, saying she wants to cuddle with my hoodie again (about 5 years ago I gave her my hoodie), and I'm just not giving in. I'm doing my own thing, viewing the currency charts, etc. And she is all like "Can I give you a kiss?" lol which yes, is weird. She is probably wanting attention but she definitely gets around so I know she has other guys to message. But she never liked me years ago. Things got awkward with her and I like 5 years ago, so I knew she wasn't interested. Well now it seems like she is because I keep resisting showing any type of affection and has been working for a while now. Who knows, but she is probably enjoying the attention. I stop messaging her and then she messages me again, 5 times. lol. Attention wanting... but I kinda seem like she is trying to get me to show some affection or something and keeps trying.

 

She replied again and said "I meant a kiss on the cheek... sorry if you took it the wrong way." I didn't reply and that's why she said that. I asked 'How about a hug?' haha so, to continue on my documentation, I say the best way to lurk someone in would be to avoid affection. Talk just normally, and don't be like "Yes, kiss me." lol. I know you guys don't care about this, but maybe this is showing that I care for a relationship too much and it may push people away. I never mention it but maybe they can sense that maybe I'm trying to hard?

Edited July 14, 2013 by lover4721

[thecrucible]

Now this whole week, I have talked to about 6-7 women. Each and every single one of them is currently deleted off of my phone because they do not show any interest or never reply. They ALL showed a meaningful amount of interest beforehand, but now have shown none.

 

Well maybe your picker is wrong and you are punching above your weight, or you're chasing the unattainable and ignoring the nice girls who take an interest in you. On the other hand, it could be that you're not showing your interest in the right way. For me, if a guy isn't giving off enough of a romantic vibe, I feel like he is just messing me about and it really tries my patience.

 

I just said hi to her, asking her what she's been up to, and she said she was going to bed.

 

See what I'm saying about not giving off a romantic vibe? Saying something like that is mundane and boring and wouldn't get me into a guy at all.

 

I said I won't bother her anymore

 

And that's just passive aggressive negativity...such a turn off!

 

Being this guy who wants to 'attract women' is kinda pointless, unless I'm doing it wrong.

 

You clearly are "doing it wrong". You'll have to work on that a little to get better results. Obviously doing the same thing all the time isn't working for you.

 

How do I have a conversation, funny and not boring, but also nothing that will throw them off?

 

I would say to ask interesting questions that really are about getting to know a woman, and not small talk, to show your fun side and to be a bit cheeky and a bit teasing to make it more intriguing. I think you should practice starting up conversations with people in general. If you become a better conversationalist with everyone, it will rub off on how you get on with women.

 

Maybe I just need to stop looking for a relationship, and just like live it up. Maybe I'm too nice and too available, and maybe that throws them off thinking I'm some weird ass person or some douche.

 

No you do not need to be a douche. You just need to be intriguing and not desperate to get a girl. But women go for different things so it shouldn't be like you try to cover all bases. If you are trying to be some cardboard-cut out 'ideal man', you'll just lack personality and spark. That spark is what makes a man stand out among others.

 

I say the best way to lurk someone in would be to avoid affection.

 

Err noo. If a guy doesn't show me enough affection, he's going to be dropped as an option pretty quickly.