NYCGuy22 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Since my breakup, I have been hitting the gym almost everyday. It has become an addiction for me. Unfortunately, I run into my ex - twice this week alone. Both times, I don't even acknowledge she is there...I don't make eye contact...and I've even walked right past her as if she were a stranger. Many people are telling me to find a new gym but I refuse to do that. Why should I let someone that dumped me change what I want to do for myself? Am I wrong for continuing to go there despite her being there as well? In my mind, I want to prove to myself and to her that I am moving on? Why should I show weakness and leave if I see her or find another gym? It obviously bothers her because she texted me about it the other day which I ignored. Am I doing the right thing?
tinker683 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I'd say it's up to you, your boundaries, and what you're comfortable with. I personally would switch gyms. I haven't seen my ex in many months and I have no desire to have her affect my life in any way, shape, or form. Her presence at the gym would be a contamination for me and I couldn't deal with it. Life's too short to have to suffer people who don't deserve your time. But that's entirely me.
lissa90 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 If you are fine with sharing the gym with her then hell no! if its her problem then she should go and dealt with it. Stay put, carry on working out and don't give her a second thought man.
eddyctv Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 You are a stronger man than me, I couldnt handle it. But if you CAN handle it, continue what you are doing!
aloneinaz Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 6 weeks post break up and NC, I don't want to see my ex. When I go to bars to meet dates, I look for her vehicle so I don't run into her. It's not that I can't handle it, I just think it could POSSIBLY set me back. So, you're stronger than I. NC and dating has kept my sanity. I know my ex is toxic and she's not right for me. I miss her kids like mad. I miss being in a relationship and our "family" when we were all together but like MILLIONS of other relationships, it wasn't meant to be so I'm looking out for me and my healing and moving on.
Author NYCGuy22 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 I don't know how "strong" I actually am - it does hurt to see her. To me this is more about her not getting the best of me. Why should I give her the satisfaction of acting like it bothers me or to stop going there? Even though it does, I feel like I just need to continue to do what I want to do. Don't get me wrong, I completely avoid places like bars where she would be with other people - I couldn't handle that and would 100% leave if I ever saw her. It some way, it actually feels good to show her that I can treat her like a complete stranger and move on with my life. Maybe it is therapuetic in a way to make sure she knows that she didn't break me?
AllTooWell Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I also share a gym with my ex. I haven't seen him there ONCE in the 3 mos we've been broken up. Don't know if he still goes. I know that he doesn't like to get up early. So I hit the gym every day at 6am. No chance he'd get up that early. If I did see him, I don't know what I would do. Probably cry and throw the squat rack at him.
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