Vandetta123 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Hi guys, I have a problem here. I am not sure how do I decide. My LDR girlfriend is coming to visit me for a month with her female friend. Her friend planned to stay over at my house with me and my gf. I am confused what should I do... Should I let her friend stay ? or not ? If I let her stay, things will be weird and also there will be no privacy. And the worst thing is that there is only ONE toilet which is in my room (room that I am going to sleep with my gf). This is gonna be very weird. FYI: Her friend is capable to rent a room by herself but this is her first time getting out of her country by herself, so she just want us to help her. If I don't, will she dislike me ? I am bothered by this because she is my gf's best friend. So any suggestion ?
NJtoDC Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 If you're in an established and healthy relationship with your GF I'd hope you'd be able to communicate your concerns to her and have a productive discussion and come to a resolution that works for you both. If I couldn't be open about my concerns I'd be unsure of the future of that relatinsonship. I get your concerns and I think they're valid. Good luck. 1
Author Vandetta123 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 We have discussed and we disagree her friend to stay with us. And planned to let her stay by herself, maybe like a homestay. But we will pick her up everyday to meet up with her so she will feel comfortable here. Sorry I forgot to write this information in the thread. So what you reckon ? If you were me, what is your decision ?
Author Vandetta123 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 And also thanks for the fast reply.
umirano Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 If you don't want that girl in your house, tell your GF. You're the host, not she. In my culture it's considered very rude to invite myself or a friend to someone else's house without the explicit and previous agreement of the host. Your GF should be loyal to you. If you already agreed to have her over it's a bit different. You will need to explain why you changed your mind. Be respectful, but by all means, let your GF in on your concerns. 1
FitChick Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Find a male friend who could take this other woman out and show her a good time. At least it will give you some private time with your girlfriend while they are gone. 2
CherryT Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I love my BF's friends and he loves mine, but we tell 'em to leave us alone when we're around. We spend some days with them but the majority of the time is quality time for us. You're in a LDR and that time is valuable. It's not a bad thing that you want privacy so you can get alone time with your GF, she should be happy about that. And her friend should understand and not be so needy. It's awesome exploring a new city on your own. She can hang with you guys for a few hours during the day or even go out with you guys for dinner etc, but she should respect the relationship too and give you both some space . 1
Chris516 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I am in agreement with everyone else, that you should find a male friend that can treat your GF's friend like a lady for a week and show her a gentlemanly good time. So your GF's friend gives you n' your GF some privacy. Now, Why on God's green earth, is your GF bringing a friend of her's in the first place? That seems a little suspicious to me. Like your GF has some insecurities about you, that she hasn't told you about.
MoooOinkBaaa Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Male friend. Had the same situation five years ago. The girl slept with all my friends lol.
Author Vandetta123 Posted July 15, 2013 Author Posted July 15, 2013 Thanks guys for replying. Anyway we have discussed together and have a solution, but she is finding it hard to say it out for not letting her stay in my house. hmmmm... what should i do then ?
Chris516 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 That's an odd way of saying have sex with. I wasn't implying that the friend of the OP's GF, should have sex with any guy she hooks up with. I was saying that, since the friend is also coming with OP's GF, it should be someone that will treat her like a lady while she is there, instead of a piece of meat.
kelly_wandering Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Maybe your GF wants to bring her as a chaperone? Have you and your GF had alone time in the past, or will this be the first time? Girls sometimes bring a female friend with them as a buffer/protection, in case things don't go as expected with the relationship.
Author Vandetta123 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 Hmmm We need to know one thing here. My gf don't want her friend to come. Unfortunately, her friend has bought a tix herself, so her friend just want my gf to takecare of her while she is here with me. As my gf have been to my country for a few times.
Chris516 Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Hmmm We need to know one thing here. My gf don't want her friend to come. Unfortunately, her friend has bought a tix herself, so her friend just want my gf to takecare of her while she is here with me. As my gf have been to my country for a few times. Well, That puts a whole new twist to the situation. Your GF's friend sounds domineering. Also, It sounds like your GF's friend, is not being a friend at all. But a pain in the backside, that your GF cannot say 'NO!!' to. In that words are not working. Your GF should end their friendship.
Author Vandetta123 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 yea. Her friend kind of like invited herself. And my gf told her a few times already. But her friend just changes the subject. Furthermore, I saw her friend only ONCE in my life. Thats why I can't talk to her. Me and her friend are just like acquaintance. She is just a friend of my gf.
Els Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Uh, I hate to be the devil's advocate her, but it sounds like your gf just isn't comfortable staying with you for a month. How many times have both of you met in person? Has any of those involved her staying with you for a significant period of time?
clia Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Hmmm We need to know one thing here. My gf don't want her friend to come. Unfortunately, her friend has bought a tix herself, so her friend just want my gf to takecare of her while she is here with me. As my gf have been to my country for a few times. This makes little sense to me. Why hasn't your girlfriend just told her friend she can't stay with you? Why would her friend just buy a ticket and expect your girlfriend to take care of her? I think the truth is that your girlfriend wants her friend to come, and is afraid to tell you. You shouldn't even be involved. This is between your girlfriend and her friend. Since the girlfriend knows you don't want the friend staying with you, and has told you that she also does not want the friend to stay with the two of you, then it is up to her to relay this information to her friend.
Author Vandetta123 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Uh, I hate to be the devil's advocate her, but it sounds like your gf just isn't comfortable staying with you for a month. How many times have both of you met in person? Has any of those involved her staying with you for a significant period of time? She have been living with me for more than 3 months and 5 months to be exact, so she shouldn't feel uncomfortable. She is coming to my country so we can meet in person. Previously we are separated because of our studies. She needs to go back to her home country to finish her studies(2 Semester left). Now is her semester break so she is coming to see me for a month then go back continue to study again for the last semester. Then planning to come back to me asap after her studies.
Author Vandetta123 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 This makes little sense to me. Why hasn't your girlfriend just told her friend she can't stay with you? She is a kind of person who can't really reject someone and in this case this friend of her happens to be her best friend. So it might be even more difficult for her to reject. Why would her friend just buy a ticket and expect your girlfriend to take care of her? I think the truth is that your girlfriend wants her friend to come, and is afraid to tell you. I am not sure about that. We are totally from different country and probably have different culture, so maybe they have different personalities and attitude. Maybe ? You shouldn't even be involved. This is between your girlfriend and her friend. Since the girlfriend knows you don't want the friend staying with you, and has told you that she also does not want the friend to stay with the two of you, then it is up to her to relay this information to her friend. That's true. I can't help though and the most I can do is just reject for her to stay together with us. Shall see how it goes. And Thank you for replying, really appreciate it.
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