Chi townD Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Back home . Why I dunno. today is our anniversary. Called her "friend" yesterday he didn't answer. He calls me back about three hrs later .. I ask him about them and his story matches hers almost word for word. He wasn't at all surprised about my questions. He did apologize. I ask him sorry for what and he says for everything that has happened. Life goes on. Okay, starting to think that we've been duped by a lot of bunnies hopping around the thread. ALL of his posts were a few sentences with no real explanation on the subject matter. I mean, people are still asking about the graveyard for Pete's sake and that was 11 pages ago! Now, the one sentence he's in Florida on the lamb! Like he's on some damn covert operation. And now he's back! Called the OM and got an apology; he asks what for. He says for everything that happen.....WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED!!! We don't know..... Graveyard- First, one sentence....sitting under a tree. Then, they were in a car. THEN, they were sitting in a car UNDER a shady tree. But, no explanation as to what they were DOING in a car under a shady tree in a graveyard. Was the car rocking, were they just talking, did he see two heads then all the sudden only seeing one? Were they eating lunch? Were they kissing? We don't know..... Really starting to see bunnies running around here.
2sunny Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Bob is very disconnected, shallow and broken - that's what his posts show. Bob - get some help!
Author bobwhite007 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Bob is very disconnected, shallow and broken - that's what his posts show. Bob - get some help! I understand the broken but I don't understand what you mean by the disconnected and shallow.
Author bobwhite007 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 So what happened? I decide to come back. I called him to let him know if he comes sniffing around here again ill kick his ass. He lied like a dog. He was very nervous when we talked. If a man called me and accused me of seeing his wife and I was innocent I would tell him he was crazy, this man apologized. She is trying very hard to make this work. She made a hugh mistake. Sometimes when I am looking at her she asks me why I'm staring at her and I see a tear in her eye. I don't know how she can live with a lie like that. I'm not going to bring it up anymore and try and be more of what she needs. I admit to being very niave and gullable and too trusting of people. That has now also changed. I trust noone and only believe half of what they tell me. I will never trust her again. How can we live like that? I don't know but I will try. If she strays again I will catch her no doubt. About the graveyard it was them for sure . I never brought it up because I didn't want her to know about the gps. The car was parked under a tree and no it wasn't rocking. They were just talking as far as I could tell thru the binoculars. She hasn't been back there or at the park she would be at at odd times of the day. I never could make it there in time to see what she was doing. I think his wife needs to know about this as well but I'm not sure how to. Maybe a letter? Sorry for all the confusion I've created but I have been a total wreck not knowing where to turn or what to do. Maybe ill try and get the job back, but my business is doing very well lately. I know this all sounds crazy but it is very real. I come from a solid family never a divorce or problems of any kind back several generations. I thought it was all stuff you would see on tv. Her family is they same way and if they ever found out it would be devastating to them as she has always been dependable and a perfect little angel. Maybe I need some ic or maybe not. Its a big mean world out there and I never realized that I was not immune from the evil and lies it holds. All I have and live for is here with her. Hour by hour day by day and week by week maybe I can get better .
miguelcervantes Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 So Bob, if you please, in very simple and clear English, what exactly did she do ? Did she have one or more affairs ?Were they EA's or PA's or both ?If she did, who did she have the affairs with ?How did you catch her ? Did she admit them straight away ?If you did catch her in affairs, what consequences have you imposed on her and what are you doing to protect yourself and ensure that these don' happen again if you are staying with her ? Please where ever possible one line answers. Else this will just go off into one of your surreal explanations of what is going on.
Chi townD Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Right...We have NO IDEA if she was cheating or not! Certainly some kind of inappropriate relationship. But, we have no clue if she's cheating.. thus, still calling bunnies.
Heartbroken Eagle Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Bob Are you happy living like this, in a relationship with no trust??
BetrayedH Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I would like to hear your wife's explanation for what she was doing at the cemetary weekly. Who has weekly appointments like that? I think you have enough circumstantial evidence to confront her and confront her hard. Then you need to make a decision. Never bringing it up again solves nothing. As others have said, hope is not a plan.
Author bobwhite007 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 I've been reluctant to post for all the flack I been catching but I'm at a loss.and no where else to turn. The credit union we don't bank at showed up again in her browser history. WTH does that mean? Any one out there keep a secret bank account? Where did she get the money? Her monthly deosit matches her check as far as I can tell. Do you think he gave her some money?? SMH
Dreamworld Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Holy crap. Of the all the loveshack posts I have read thus far this is by far the most confusing thread I have ever read. I read the 20 pages before, I read it over again, and I still don't know what the hell is going on. It's like some horror movie where you are going around and around in circles but you can't keep coming back to the same point; are we back to page 1? I think if I were you, by this time I'd be driving myself so damn crazy I'd just leave whether or not I find out she was cheating or not. I really really think you need to talk to a professional. I mean really truly.
BetrayedH Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I've been reluctant to post for all the flack I been catching but I'm at a loss.and no where else to turn. The credit union we don't bank at showed up again in her browser history. WTH does that mean? Any one out there keep a secret bank account? Where did she get the money? Her monthly deosit matches her check as far as I can tell. Do you think he gave her some money?? SMH Yes, some affair partners are known to keep secret financial accounts. I would say it's typically so they have a nest egg for when they leave their spouse. Perhaps they are both contributing small amounts so they will have money for an apartment. Would you mind answering my questions?
Author bobwhite007 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 Yes, some affair partners are known to keep secret financial accounts. I would say it's typically so they have a nest egg for when they leave their spouse. Perhaps they are both contributing small amounts so they will have money for an apartment. Would you mind answering my questions? Lol he's a freakin millionare. Which question?
miguelcervantes Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 So Bob, if you please, in very simple and clear English, what exactly did she do ? Did she have one or more affairs ?Were they EA's or PA's or both ?If she did, who did she have the affairs with ?How did you catch her ? Did she admit them straight away ?If you did catch her in affairs, what consequences have you imposed on her and what are you doing to protect yourself and ensure that these don' happen again if you are staying with her ? Please where ever possible one line answers. Else this will just go off into one of your surreal explanations of what is going on. These questions of mine for starters.
BetrayedH Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 What is your wife's explanation for the weekly visits to the cemetary? As I recall, you said she was going there for quite some time. That seems to be a question for which a husband can demand an answer, especially since you've seen her there with another man.
road Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 What is your wife's explanation for the weekly visits to the cemetary? As I recall, you said she was going there for quite some time. That seems to be a question for which a husband can demand an answer, especially since you've seen her there with another man. Better yet why does he not try an catch them there and get some photos then confront.
BetrayedH Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Better yet why does he not try an catch them there and get some photos then confront. He did catch them there and didn't confront. I'm not sure he's confronted her still. Bob appears paralyzed by inaction.
Author bobwhite007 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 These questions of mine for starters. One for sure.ea possibly pa Admits to nothing .. says it wasnt her at the cemetary. One ap no doubt . A couple other guy "friends"that contacted her a lot. I say contacted because she has stopped using her personal phone except for familycalls.last text on her work phone has been the same one for the last two weeks, no new ones. You can hear on var her ticking away texting but no texts in the history.
Owl Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 One for sure.ea possibly pa Admits to nothing .. says it wasnt her at the cemetary. One ap no doubt . A couple other guy "friends"that contacted her a lot. I say contacted because she has stopped using her personal phone except for familycalls.last text on her work phone has been the same one for the last two weeks, no new ones. You can hear on var her ticking away texting but no texts in the history. So you know she's lying to you still.
ChooseTruth Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 One for sure.ea possibly pa Admits to nothing .. says it wasnt her at the cemetary. One ap no doubt . A couple other guy "friends"that contacted her a lot. I say contacted because she has stopped using her personal phone except for familycalls.last text on her work phone has been the same one for the last two weeks, no new ones. You can hear on var her ticking away texting but no texts in the history. Ugh this whole thing sounds like torture. Another phone? That happens sometimes. Maybe you should just hire a PI. If she's cheating she's very careful probably because of all the suspicion you've shown.
BetrayedH Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 So you know she's lying to you still. Yep. Just like she's lying about the cemetary since he used GPS to find out she was going there. Bob, you should confront her with divorce papers.
Author bobwhite007 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 Todays browser history shows western portfolio managment. ?? ? WTH?
miguelcervantes Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 One for sure.ea possibly pa Admits to nothing .. says it wasnt her at the cemetary. One ap no doubt . A couple other guy "friends"that contacted her a lot. I say contacted because she has stopped using her personal phone except for familycalls.last text on her work phone has been the same one for the last two weeks, no new ones. You can hear on var her ticking away texting but no texts in the history. So you think it was an EA because you saw your wife talking with someone during her lunch break at the cemetery ? Or because she denies ever being at the cemetery ? Or both ? Also you feel that she is using a burner phone to send texts and be in contact with this OM. You are at the stage of having a strong gut feeling that something is not right and some odd behaviour. Therefore it is time to really start investigating, as in put VARs in her car and around the house, try and find the burner phone, find out more about this OM and maybe even try and make sense of some of her website visits (as you are doing although they really are confusing). I think it might be that you have already tipped her off and if something is going on, she may take it so deep underground that it is going to be difficult to find in which case a polygraph would be needed to try and get the truth. In the meantime, are you prepared to lose her in order to win her back ?
BetrayedH Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) My summary: Bob ignored good advice about not confronting her without solid proof and tipped his hand. He GPSd her which led to the cemetary but he inexplcably didn't confront them. Instead, she saw him and subsequently disabled the GPS on her phone. He has an unproductive VAR in the car, which I imagine she discovered. She uses her work phone and cleans it up. OM follows the deny talking points to a T but also apologized (apparently for nothing). The wife is smart enough to evade discovery and Bob is a perfect candidate for gaslighting. His wife even said to him, "Not being able to figure out what's going on is driving you crazy, isn't it?" Bob also has a tendency to want to close his eyes and hope for it to go away, which really isn't helping. He also gets distracted by stuff in her internet histiory which ultimately leads to nothing conclusive. He's paralyzed with inaction, fear of being wrong, and primarily of losing his wife (which is probably inevitable - once she has her ducks in a row). I think Bob needs to reclaim his manhood by filing for divorce with the most vicious attorney he can find. Edited October 25, 2013 by BetrayedH
miguelcervantes Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 My summary: Bob ignored good advice about not confronting her without solid proof and tipped his hand. He GPSd her which led to the cemetary but he inexplcably didn't confront them. Instead, she saw him and subsequently disabled the GPS on her phone. He has an unproductive VAR in the car, which I imagine she discovered. She uses her work phone and cleans it up. OM follows the deny talking points to a T but also apologized (apparently for nothing). The wife is smart enough to evade discovery and Bob is a perfect candidate for gaslighting. His wife even said to him, "Not being able to figure out what's going on is driving you crazy, isn't it?" Bob also has a tendency to want to close his eyes and hope for it to go away, which really isn't helping. He also gets distracted by stuff in her internet histiory which ultimately leads to nothing conclusive. He's paralyzed with inaction, fear of being wrong, and primarily of losing his wife (which is probably inevitable - once she has her ducks in a row). I think Bob needs to reclaim his manhood by filing for divorce with the most vicious attorney he can find. Bob, what say you to all of this? Sounds like you have a real wily wife! Just curious - what do you think she would say or how do you think she would react if you suddenly hit her with divorce papers ? The answer to this could help you get your head straight.
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