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Posted

She just changed jobs in the last two months. She didn't have the work phone with her old job. That was one sub contractor surely he was not the only one bidding work. Why is he ths only one on the personal phone. How can that be in professional norms? Texting in the mornings and calling at lunch?

Posted
She just changed jobs in the last two months. She didn't have the work phone with her old job. That was one sub contractor surely he was not the only one bidding work. Why is he ths only one on the personal phone. How can that be in professional norms? Texting in the mornings and calling at lunch?

 

Ok that's different then. Maybe. I'm not sure I'm following.

 

When exactly did she get the work phone?

Why would a subcontractor have her personal number at all? Was her work phone broken?

 

My customers call and text me at outrageous times and I'm not sleeping with any of them and never have.

 

Wait. Didn't you already catch her in a cemetery with her boyfriend?

 

I think you should vent much much more until you get this out of you.

Posted

Hey,

 

So I didn't read the entire convo but noticed you wanted some kind of spy device for galaxy s3. I used 'mobilstealth', It worked wonders and in fact can record the surroundings so you can hear conversations. You have to download it on her phone.

WARNING THOUGH, it made me STIR S*IT crazy lol. However in your case, if you REALLY want to know, this is how to do it

Posted

Or, you could just move out and get a life.

  • Like 1
Posted

Or he could move out and ruin his life based on nothing.

Posted

Or he could stay and have the illusion of a marriage.

Posted

The reason he has that illusion is because he has paranoid, and many here have fed right into it. The bottom line is he nothing to support his fears.

Posted

So many people here are so quick to jump on the hammer, when we are only presented with a 'trickle truth' from posters.

Posted
The reason he has that illusion is because he has paranoid, and many here have fed right into it. The bottom line is he nothing to support his fears.

 

His gut instinct says something is really off, so he knows best.

 

I still say, hire a PI and get facts. Then follow through on the D!

Posted
The reason he has that illusion is because he has paranoid, and many here have fed right into it. The bottom line is he nothing to support his fears.

 

I find it fascinating that the poster who has repeatedly pointed out that he takes extraordinary measures to keep from getting caught and is convinced that it won't happen is the very one insistent that OP is paranoid.

 

Realist, have you considered how your wife might sound if she were posting here with the trickle bits of clues she might potentially put together?

 

Bob, I don't think it matters if your wife is cheating or not. Your marriage sucks. Do something about it, one way or another....or accept it for what it is and make the most of it.

  • Author
Posted
I find it fascinating that the poster who has repeatedly pointed out that he takes extraordinary measures to keep from getting caught and is convinced that it won't happen is the very one insistent that OP is paranoid.

 

Realist, have you considered how your wife might sound if she were posting here with the trickle bits of clues she might potentially put together?

 

Bob, I don't think it matters if your wife is cheating or not. Your marriage sucks. Do something about it, one way or another....or accept it for what it is and make the most of it.

Our marriage does now suck yes.with all the snooping I've done I have learned a lot about her I didn't know. I had forgotten that she is also human. I had her on some kind of pedestal. I started a real job yesterday and going to tell all of this to a close reliable source this afternoon. I am going to do whatever he says for me to do. I am sure a lot of what I've found is really nothing but my paranoia.oh by the way her work phone history showed a realtors number and were not in the market. Another wrong number I guess.

  • Author
Posted
I find it fascinating that the poster who has repeatedly pointed out that he takes extraordinary measures to keep from getting caught and is convinced that it won't happen is the very one insistent that OP is paranoid.

 

Realist, have you considered how your wife might sound if she were posting here with the trickle bits of clues she might potentially put together?

 

Bob, I don't think it matters if your wife is cheating or not. Your marriage sucks. Do something about it, one way or another....or accept it for what it is and make the most of it.

She wouldn't have found a list of texts and calls to another woman for one thing, she wouldn't have found a search for routing number in my browser history for a bank we don't bank at when I started my new job. Another woman wouldn't have texted me the day she left town. She wouldn't see on my phone bill any tezts or calls to another woman while we were on our vacation.

She wouldn't have recorded a phone call to another woman with a var in my car .just sayin.

Posted

Bob...so now you're saying you ARE just paranoid, and have made a mountain out of a molehill?

 

OK...so my advice for you STILL stands...

 

Do something about it, one way or another....or accept it for what it is and make the most of it.

 

So...what are you going to DO?

  • Author
Posted
Our marriage does now suck yes.with all the snooping I've done I have learned a lot about her I didn't know. I had forgotten that she is also human. I had her on some kind of pedestal. I started a real job yesterday and going to tell all of this to a close reliable source this afternoon. I am going to do whatever he says for me to do. I am sure a lot of what I've found is really nothing but my paranoia.oh by the way her work phone history showed a realtors number and were not in the market. Another wrong number I guess.
this, Owl is what I'm gonna do. Its all I know to do at this point.
Posted

What's the explanation for the weekly cemetary visits?

  • Like 2
Posted
Our marriage does now suck yes.with all the snooping I've done I have learned a lot about her I didn't know. I had forgotten that she is also human. I had her on some kind of pedestal. I started a real job yesterday and going to tell all of this to a close reliable source this afternoon. I am going to do whatever he says for me to do. I am sure a lot of what I've found is really nothing but my paranoia.oh by the way her work phone history showed a realtors number and were not in the market. Another wrong number I guess.

 

Congrats on your new job :)

 

Is this the first person IRL you will be talking to about all this? I think that's a good step to talk about it to someone.

  • Author
Posted
What's the explanation for the weekly cemetary visits?

Well she ain't been back since. I dunno if she saw me or not. I guess it was just a meeting place. One car at a convient store both rode in the other. A nice quiet shady spot.

Posted (edited)
Well she ain't been back since. I dunno if she saw me or not. I guess it was just a meeting place. One car at a convient store both rode in the other. A nice quiet shady spot.

 

I don't know what the non-paranoid explanation of that looks like. You said this was going on weekly (or twice a week?) for a long time, right?

 

Even if she is there supporting a friend at his mother's grave, why meet at a convenience store and leave one car there?

Edited by BetrayedH
Posted

So, after 17 pages on this thread. The only investigating that you've REALLY have done is GPS. No VAR's in the home or the car, no keylogger on the computer?

 

It just feels like, you want to know what's going on and yet...you don't.

 

It's like if you DO catch her redhanded, it makes this and your whole situation real.

  • Author
Posted
I don't know what the non-paranoid explanation of that looks like. You said this was going on weekly (or twice a week?) for a long time, right?

 

Even if she is there supporting a friend at his mother's grave, why meet at a convenience store and leave one car there?

It did go on for a while but not since I was able to get there in time to see them. They must have seen me is all I can figure.

Posted

Bob - you have become your own worst enemy - by simply not taking action.

 

It sucks to watch and read you continue to be so cruel to yourself by settling for so little.

  • Author
Posted
Congrats on your new job :)

 

Is this the first person IRL you will be talking to about all this? I think that's a good step to talk about it to someone.

No, I saw a counselor in the beginning. He told me to take no action at that point. I obviously didn't listen. That was my first mistake. And my reliable person hasn't yet returned my call. Iam not sure why. The new job is going well. I haven't worked a real job in several years, not to say I haven't been working. I was told by w after first year in business to just work all you can and don't report nothing. I've been pushed down so long its gonna take a while for me to get my s**t together Sunny, be patient with me I'm doing all I really know to do.

Posted
The new job is going well.

 

Like a breath of fresh air, that job has got to feel good like a breath of fresh air. Why not start a new life to go with it? If she want's you, she will pursue, if not well then good riddance.

  • Author
Posted
So, after 17 pages on this thread. The only investigating that you've REALLY have done is GPS. No VAR's in the home or the car, no keylogger on the computer?

 

It just feels like, you want to know what's going on and yet...you don't.

 

It's like if you DO catch her redhanded, it makes this and your whole situation real.

var and gps tells me last week that she does lie. Not sure at this point why but she does lie. She went to a local deli for lunch..alone then after lunch a man gets in the car with her and he says how's is everything going? Better? No response. I think I heard wispering then nothing untill he gets a phone call then theey arrive and he talks about the person there meeting, somethi ng about his ego, after meeting they get back in car and he is on the phone untill they get back to the office. She says they met for lunch and went there seperate ways after. I understand her job and she deals with a lot of men and I've always been able to handle it. I guess she lies now to protect me?

I just know now that she is suspect to being wooed, or whatever, by another man so she just figuers its better to lie. I think maybe she knows var in the car. She has also started sitting in her car when she gets home long enough that I will look out to see if that was her. She will be looking down, like at her phone, then comes in. She has went from gaurding her work phone to leaving it out. I go thru it just now and I find nothing but business. I did finally get a call from my " counseler" and we are meeting next week . I'm thinking I'm driving myself nuts to say the least. We both know this guy I'm meeting with well and he knows us both very well. He has a degree in psycho logy and deals with this type of situation regularly. I'm starting to think I will find nothing untill I stop looking. I ask myself did she cheat? I have to answer yes. Has she broke it off? I dunno. Does she want us to stay together? I am pretty sure she does. But then I look at gps history and see she was at bank we don't bank at and the one on her phone history that she said she dialed wrong # the same one in her browser history where she searched for routing number about the same time she was starting her new job. I have been to this bank and tried to make a deposit in her account they say they can't tell me if she has account there or not. The teller went to the back then stuck her head out the door and called another lady back there , they stay back there a few minutes then comes out and says we can't say if she has account or not. I had all the info except account #. I know I'm driving myself crazy. I now have damebrammage. I worked daylight till dark yesterday catching up on my business work cause my new job took 40 hrs away from it last week. The new job has helped me some in getting my mind off what she's doing and more on me. I haven't worked a real job in several years and it will take a lot more adjusting for me to figure it out. It will soon require me to travel and that willll be a true test on us both. I want to be with her I just want to know the truth, I think.

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