Sweett Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 (edited) Not sure what to do. Met this guy online, chatted a few weeks, then exchanged numbers. We planned a meet and greet and the day of i didn't hear from him. I asked him toward the end of that day what happened to our meeting and he said "well i thought u would stand me up, but if u want to meet i am all for it" is this weird or what!? I told him the day before i was looking forward to the meeting..how could he get the impression i would stand him up!? Sounds lame. Well i let this go and now a month later we still haven't met!seems every time we plan something comes up. I kinda get the impression he's not a dater as he has tried to get me to come to his place or him to mine and i am not comfortable with that. At first on the phone he seemed really into me and like a caring person but if i cant answer a call or return his call he gets short and mad with me and he tells me im not being open enough with him about my feelings and it frustrates him. I told him these things take patience and i cant be 100% open with someone i've never seen! I just dont feel comfortable about this guy and the disagreements and arguing so soon is not good! Any advice? Does anyone think he just wants sex and is getting frustrated because i won't give in!? Edited July 11, 2013 by Sweett
Vials Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Woa lose this guy. He sounds like a basket case. In what way did you give off the air of being someone who would stand him up? And the fact that he keeps inviting you to his place? Ha, he didn't by any chance invite you to watch "movies" at his place? And getting mad? Because you have a life? If he's like this now, I shudder to think of what he'll be like later... 2
nescafe1982 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Sounds like a time-waster. You're online, right? Chat up some people that won't stand you up! IF you ever meet this dude, nothing will pan out; he sounds like a chronic waffler. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 ugh run! He seems to be on the crazy side. Why would you keep taking to him?
Author Sweett Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 Woa lose this guy. He sounds like a basket case. In what way did you give off the air of being someone who would stand him up? And the fact that he keeps inviting you to his place? Ha, he didn't by any chance invite you to watch "movies" at his place? And getting mad? Because you have a life? If he's like this now, I shudder to think of what he'll be like later... I agree,,, seems scary to argue with someone u barely know and haven't seen physically! 1
Author Sweett Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 ugh run! He seems to be on the crazy side. Why would you keep taking to him? Thats a good question. The conversations we had in the beginning we had a connection but now it just seems he's frustrated with me. I can't just open up totally emotionally to someone i barely know but he doesn't get that!! And he gets mad!
nescafe1982 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Thats a good question. The conversations we had in the beginning we had a connection but now it just seems he's frustrated with me. I can't just open up totally emotionally to someone i barely know but he doesn't get that!! And he gets mad! Um, you haven't met the guy yet. You would be a fool to "open up emotionally," and if he's asking you to (after he stood you up, I might add) he's an aggressive creep with boundary issues. Nope, this is not a man you want to meet. I wouldn't even write him again. 2
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 We planned a meet and greet and the day of i didn't hear from him. Well i let this go and now a month later we still haven't met!seems every time we plan something comes up. He is not meeting you because he doesn't want to meet you. He wants a pen/phone pal if i cant answer a call or return his call he gets short and mad with me and he tells me im not being open enough with him about my feelings and it frustrates him. He could potentially have some kind of a mental disorder. Any advice? Does anyone think he just wants sex and is getting frustrated because i won't give in!? No, he doesn't want sex. Why would you think he wants any kind of physical contact with you - he doesn't even want to meet you in person? My advice if to tell him you don't have time for time wasters, delete/block his number and move on. 1
pcplod Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 He is clearly emotionally unstable, unpredictable and uncertain. The only person he should be dating right now (never mind you) is a therapist. 1
aussietigerwolf Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 he doesn't want sex, he doesn't want to meet at all... I couldn't even figure out why they do it from my encounter with such a creep. maybe he's married and gets off on the attention, maybe he has some sort of mental disorder, maybe he's just an *******.
soccerrprp Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Thats a good question. The conversations we had in the beginning we had a connection but now it just seems he's frustrated with me. I can't just open up totally emotionally to someone i barely know but he doesn't get that!! And he gets mad! Bad, bad, bad. Move on now!
candie13 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 very easy: give him a time and a date for a coffee together. He shows up, good. He doesn't - then he's playing games. Easy. You could also cut your losses early and stop all contact... your choice. Things are supposed to be very very simple, at the beginning. If they're not now, do you actually think they'll get better? And, rule of thumb: any guy suggesting to come to my place or me coming to theirs is a clear and straight : "you Sir, can you please go straight and directly to Hell ". Easy. 2
KatZee Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I get the vibe that he DOES want sex. He won't meet you in public, he keeps having things "come up" yet he keeps trying to get you to go to his house. CREEEEPPERRR!! Why are you even still talking to this person? He sounds unstable, controlling, and has obvious issues.
Treasa Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Not sure what to do. Met this guy online, chatted a few weeks, then exchanged numbers. We planned a meet and greet and the day of i didn't hear from him. I asked him toward the end of that day what happened to our meeting and he said "well i thought u would stand me up, but if u want to meet i am all for it" I only got this far. Don't ever talk to him again, and refuse any attempts he might make to get in contact with you. 2
TigerCub Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 My Theory: He's been hurt in the past and stood up and treated badly. That's why he wanted to stand you up before you stood him up. Then somewhere along the line he started obsessing about how "girls only want the bad boys" blah blah stuff - so he's trying to be nonchalant and only offer to go to your place or meet at his place to fool around. Yet he gets upset if you can't return his call right away and stuff like that... I think he's totally caught in between the 2 sides. What he was (the caring/nice guy the unfortunately got hurt) and the guy he's trying to be (the one he thinks will get the girls)... Either way he seems emotionally unstable and not worth the drama. Why would you invest in someone that can't just be upfront, and meet you like a normal person? I'd definitely move on... 1
smile1983 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I would worry that he was some kind of creep that doesn't want to meet in a public place because he intends on doing something bad to you. If he will not meet in a public place, lose him. If he wants a relationship with you he will meet in a public forum so that you can get to know him in person. 2
Author Sweett Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 very easy: give him a time and a date for a coffee together. He shows up, good. He doesn't - then he's playing games. Easy. You could also cut your losses early and stop all contact... your choice. Things are supposed to be very very simple, at the beginning. If they're not now, do you actually think they'll get better? And, rule of thumb: any guy suggesting to come to my place or me coming to theirs is a clear and straight : "you Sir, can you please go straight and directly to Hell ". Easy. Exactly. I felt like he wasn't trying to take me on a nice date or anything just felt like he would hint around to me coming to his place. I mean he was sweet talking me for 2 weeks and then says that god told him i'm his wife!!! Im like what the heck???
Author Sweett Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 My Theory: He's been hurt in the past and stood up and treated badly. That's why he wanted to stand you up before you stood him up. Then somewhere along the line he started obsessing about how "girls only want the bad boys" blah blah stuff - so he's trying to be nonchalant and only offer to go to your place or meet at his place to fool around. Yet he gets upset if you can't return his call right away and stuff like that... I think he's totally caught in between the 2 sides. What he was (the caring/nice guy the unfortunately got hurt) and the guy he's trying to be (the one he thinks will get the girls)... Either way he seems emotionally unstable and not worth the drama. Why would you invest in someone that can't just be upfront, and meet you like a normal person? I'd definitely move on... Thanks! Your theory makes since. I do feel he is very unstable!!! Example... He said he wanted to spend an entire weekend with me. I said thats fine but i have a hair appointment saturday...he says well fine then...i say thats only part of saturday and im free that evening and sunday... He says what if im not... I say thats fine... He says angrily why do u have an attitude.. I say what? What do u mean... He then flies off the handle saying im full of excuses... Then he asks if im scared of him and i said yes especially the way u just accused me of an attitude and chopped my head off. His response.. Are u ****ing kidding me...i said why the f word.. He says because u r being ridiculous why the hell are u scared of me... I asked him why he was so angry like 3 times then he finally answered me and blamed me for his anger because i wasnt being open enough to him. I said well its only been 2 weeks, ive never seen u before, and it takes patience and time fir me to open up. Of course he gets ticked again. So now i have blocked his number... This crap can give someone anxiety!!! 1
Author Sweett Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 I only got this far. Don't ever talk to him again, and refuse any attempts he might make to get in contact with you. Thanks! I blocked his number today. I can't take it... This is way to much for someone i haven't seen physically. He seems to blame women for his problems. He said every woman he's dated has been manipulative or spoiled and likes to argue. And im thinking to myself dude u may need to look within yourself. Maybe it was his childhood.. He says his parents fought a lot.
TigerCub Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Good for you for ending this experiment and blocking his number, he really seems unstable.
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Not sure what to do. Met this guy online, chatted a few weeks, then exchanged numbers. We planned a meet and greet and the day of i didn't hear from him. I asked him toward the end of that day what happened to our meeting and he said "well i thought u would stand me up, but if u want to meet i am all for it" is this weird or what!? I told him the day before i was looking forward to the meeting..how could he get the impression i would stand him up!? Sounds lame. Well i let this go and now a month later we still haven't met!seems every time we plan something comes up. I kinda get the impression he's not a dater as he has tried to get me to come to his place or him to mine and i am not comfortable with that. At first on the phone he seemed really into me and like a caring person but if i cant answer a call or return his call he gets short and mad with me and he tells me im not being open enough with him about my feelings and it frustrates him. I told him these things take patience and i cant be 100% open with someone i've never seen! I just dont feel comfortable about this guy and the disagreements and arguing so soon is not good! Any advice? Does anyone think he just wants sex and is getting frustrated because i won't give in!? I'd say he's really shy but if he's willing to just show up at your place or vise versa, sounds like he might just want sex. You ought to find a real man. 1
Author Sweett Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 Good for you for ending this experiment and blocking his number, he really seems unstable. Yeah, i was starting to get stressed out and its so not worth it!
hoping2heal Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 I think anyone who refuses to meet you in person has no right to comment on how open you are or aren't being with him. Sounds like bad news 1
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