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Posted

Hi everyone,

 

A bit of a problem here.

 

Although I meet many girls on campus through student organization activities and residence life, I rarely came across people that really got me to remember them. I naturally considered that if I would forget them in a week then my feelings would have only been hormonal and inconsequential.

 

Those few people that I did meet and felt attracted to in a much deeper sense (in terms of just impression - both the physical and the personality) - well they were all in a relationship when I met them. I kept moving on from one to another - only to find yet another spoken for. It happens, right? But I came across a big problem recently and I seek your advice.

 

So as I moved on from one to another, I still sever the ties. They were quite interesting people and I though I could actually be friends with them. Now I am not sure about the second part though.

 

The latest person I fell for also was in a relationship - but I was attracted to her to such an extent that I kept pushing and pushing. I stayed within the 'boundaries' (purely my own definition here - never explicitly told her that I liked her, although I did ask her out for a coffee, gave her some little silly gifts). I tried and well it wasn't going anywhere. I tried to back out but then I was too weak. She'd ask me how I'm doing and start the convo and then I fall again. Well I pulled the trigger and told her that I 'liked her' and I thought it would have ended our friendship but she still talks and msgs me like usual. She's still in a relationship and I know that I should get the hell out of here but sadly this is the most interest that a female has ever shown me. I hope I won't fall for it next time though.

 

Recently I think I am getting over this person. But the problem is that I feel like I am falling for a female friend of mine that I knew for the past 2 years. She has just gotten single but still I find it low that I started having feelings for her right after I heard that she became single. With what little shred of rationality I have it seems I am just trying to find someone to be in a relationship with.

 

I've been trying to focus my attention to other stuff and projects I have but I feel like my attention is still hanging there. I feel compelled to try my best and push hardest and see it through till it fails. But I also feel like it's bad because I feel like I am putting too much effort (not necessarily expectation) into this. How could I help myself to relieve from this problem?

Posted
Hi everyone,

 

A bit of a problem here.

 

Although I meet many girls on campus through student organization activities and residence life, I rarely came across people that really got me to remember them. I naturally considered that if I would forget them in a week then my feelings would have only been hormonal and inconsequential.

 

Those few people that I did meet and felt attracted to in a much deeper sense (in terms of just impression - both the physical and the personality) - well they were all in a relationship when I met them.

 

 

You aren't giving people a chance to open up and show you who they are. Not everyone's open to strangers, and those people's personalities would not come out in that short time you had to "meet" them. You shouldn't "remember" passively... you should remember actively... try to get to know people better little by little, and if they're comfortable around you, you might discover some hidden treasures.

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